H

hunter_lewis

Specialist
Sep 17, 2018
335
I am very ill and struggling with the survival instinct. I don't want to die but living like this is unbearable too.
When do you know it's time?
 
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Xerxes

Xerxes

Invisible
Nov 8, 2018
936
When people that are close to you don't care about you anymore, and you also don't care about life either.
 
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,196
You'll just know... sorry if this isn't so helpful but I think it's true
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,804
I think it is all based on the individual, no two individuals or persons survival instincts and body are the same. I think when the time comes, your mind would probably reach a state where it desperately wants out and will override (even temporarily) the survival instinct and you would just act without second thought. It requires reaching a state of true despair and desperation before that could happen.

When people that are close to you don't care about you anymore, and you also don't care about life either.

Also, this.
 
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T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
I am very ill and struggling with the survival instinct. I don't want to die but living like this is unbearable too.
When do you know it's time?
I wish I had an answer. I don't want to die, but life is already agony and I cannot bear how it will grow worse in the future. I desperately want to go, but my SI has thus far defeated me. I have become afraid of trying again, because of the exhaustion and despondancy that follow a failed attempt. I spend each day wondering, "Can I do it today? Can I make that leap?" So far... Not yet.

I hope that I will know, when the day comes, and I hope the day comes soon.
 
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M

MsM3talGamer

Voluntary deletion
Nov 28, 2018
1,504
I think you're going to know instinctively when the time comes to CTB. It's usually when the pain becomes totally unbearable and you want to escape.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,970
It's different for everybody. But feeling no joy, not functioning, and not being able to see a future for yourself are three pretty big checkboxes for me personally.
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
I don't know how to say goodbye explicitly at the end in particular. I might just go, I'm getting so fed up again
 
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S

Shewaitsforme

Arcanist
Sep 23, 2018
493
Only you can answer that. For me its when ive exhausted all options to continue living, not even a 1% chance i can make things better for myself and the want to die overtakes my survival instinct. Its all got to come from within you.
 
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dreznik87

dreznik87

I just want to sleep
Dec 21, 2018
13
For me it was knowing I have exhausted every treatment option available to me without success + the fact I simply do not enjoy life and am very bored. Also my wifes growing resentment for me has also made me realise how much of a burden I have become.

Wanting to end my life has not been a rushed decision I have given it lots of careful thought, as we know there is no coming back.

I have tried partial hanging twice, but survival instinct....

I really really struggle with survival instinct.

Having said that though, if I owned a gun I think I would have left many times by now, I need an instant death that gives me no time to think, that's why I want to just pull a trigger. Impossible with gun laws here though. So I don't know what will happen. Time will tell.
 
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Hunter

Hunter

Experienced
Sep 14, 2018
260
Mine is a combination of rationality and circumstantial factors. I can't and won't ever recover my health, can't access tools for survival, and everyday I spend here I am an unwanted emotional and financial burden. The physical pain is tormenting me everyday and I know I will never have a "normal" life or a decent standard of living ever again. Having said that, I explored all my options before hitting this point. I'm just done.
 
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Kyrok

Kyrok

Paragon
Nov 6, 2018
970
It WAS time for me decades ago. The rest is punishment for failing.

Once you start regularly saying to yourself I should have ctb THEN, you'll know you need to correct your mistake.
 
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R

Ready and waiting

Failure is NOT an option!
Dec 7, 2018
16
For me it was time when I became unable to feel happiness. My happiness comes from 1.someone to love 2. Something to do 3. Something to look forward too! This time I will not fail! I simply can't handle opening my eyes and finding out I'm alive again!
 
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Lunaemoth

Lunaemoth

Member
Dec 14, 2018
85
As many people have said, I think it's just something you know. My biggest indicator that I'm making the right choice is that with all my previous attempts, I've felt regret that I survived, but I've never once, in fifteen years, felt regret or doubt about the idea of dying.I can't imagine a happy future, and I know I don't have the energy to try to improve my life even if I could. Pro-lifers always say, 'it will get better', but for a decade and a half my life has gotten worse and worse, to the point where there's nothing to salvage and nothing left to care about (aside from the general affection I have for my family and my dog, and a general remorse about leaving them, but it's not enough and never has been).

This is the first time I've researched and chosen a reliable method, and the first time I've spent weeks planning and preparing, rather than impulsively acting on my depression and self-loathing. So the only anxiety I feel is about someone finding out early, or surviving my attempt. Once you have that level of certainty, and find nothing to truly enjoy in your life or in your future, I think you know it's time. But it is and always will be different for everyone.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
When you stop caring about the effects your suicide will bring to others because you just want the pain to stop is when you know you gotta go.
 
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Justanotherconsumer

Justanotherconsumer

Paragon
Jul 9, 2018
974
I think its time and justifiable when you are left with no realistic potential for hope anymore. I dont think its a trivial matter, your fear and loathing of future events overcome your fear of death and survival instinct.
 
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Kuba

Kuba

God still keeps me in life
Dec 4, 2018
28
When God gives me a sign . Simple sign..
From the day to day(if i can say it like that, i have very bad eng and im sorry for mistakes) im doing more weak than the day before. I still fighting with my brain ..i cant do this anymore ..its to hard..
Idk what to do .. i have a lot of friends but they dont know about my fight with depression ..they dont know anything about me ..seriously...such a pain
 
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Lunaemoth

Lunaemoth

Member
Dec 14, 2018
85
When you stop caring about the effects your suicide will bring to others because you just want the pain to stop is when you know you gotta go.

Not necessarily when you stop caring, I think (at least in my case), but when it ceases to matter. I do care that my family will be upset, I'm very sad for them, and sorry I will be bringing them pain. But it's not enough to stop me. In my mind, it's inevitable, like something I have no control over, or something that's already happened.
 
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D

dumbfarang

Member
Dec 13, 2018
45
I am very ill and struggling with the survival instinct. I don't want to die but living like this is unbearable too.
When do you know it's time?

hey man i have the same dilemma. it sucks that other forces are pretty much forcing us to end our lives because reality is so intolerable. the way i think of it is that anything will be better once the suffering is over. who knows maybe theres an afterlife.
 
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R

Roadkill

Experienced
Dec 25, 2018
247
For me, I know it's time right now.. I know this because I don't even want to live one more day. I want this nightmare to end as soon as possible. If I had a gun right now, I would have already pulled the trigger. Every minute alive is pure agony, but the thought of failing at suicide is even more scary.. what if I don't succeed and become blind or paralyzed?.. the fact is, it's not that easy to ctb.. I have a great respect for the people that get the job done, and get it done the first time.
 
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