Discussion What's your story for wanting to ctb (Summarized in just 3 sentences or bulletin points)?

[ToTheTwillight]

Parents divorced and then my dad remarried to a weirdo who injected her weirdoness to my blood and convinced him to send me to crappy boarding school. This led me to social suicide and struggle to get girlfriend over the years. When I was working for this company and it seemed like I cached my break and was gonna make a big splash, they stole the work from me and torment me in addition.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case there isn't much of a story, there's just the fact that existing isn't for me, I have enough awareness to recognise that existing is just a futile process of slowly dying. I don't wish to be a slave to suffering trapped inside a decaying flesh prison in a world where there is unlimited potential to feel pain, existing here could never be an appealing or desirable state. I only wish to return to the ideal state of non-existence where everything is finally forgotten about for all eternity.

 

[DrinkyCrow]

My mom told me i would do everyone around me a great favor by doing so when i was a teenager and i believe her, my whole life was very unlucky so far and i don't think that will ever change, i basically have nothing and no one, only thing i have are various mental illnesses and addiction problems. I just want the problems that i cause everyone including myself to stop.

 

[nessun_nome]

I have no worth as a human being. I can't get fulfilment from being myself, from my work or my life outside work. What else is there?

 

[TheTranstarEngineer]

Got sick, got sad, gave up

 

[Dolphin55]

1.i have failed at life, I have not done any of the things or the reached any of the milestones people my age have. Literally, none of them, even the most basic shit you would take for granted

2.crippling anxiety and depression

3.a chronic inability to fix any of my problems. i am too weak to keep fighting

 

[deomlez]

I don't like life. I don't like me. I'd rather not exist.

 

[telro]

I exist. Existence sucks. CTB is the way I can end my existence

 

[Duality]

We are but a speck of dust in the universe, so I fail to see the point in existing. But I will concede that I do not wish to project my views on to others - if they feel like life is worth living, so be it but I only wish they return the courtesy in not projecting their views on to me. Unfortunately, as we all know, almost 100% of the time that's not the case.

 

[AZcardinals]

My infant son just passed away in February and every second of every day living without him is torture.

 

[Kerrtu]

My infant son just passed away in February and every second of every day living without him is torture.

I am so sorry.

 

[brood]

I'm getting older, it's limiting my quality of life, I shall end my life , soon I think.

 

[Electronic Music]

I've lived my entire life just failing and causing issues regardless of my actions or intent, I'm just done. I'm done disappointing everyone, I'm so tired of trying, its so incredibly painful letting my hopes get crushed over and over again. Please just let me die.

Even this, this 'woe is me' perspective I'm stuck in is just pathetic. People have lost their fucking children and yet I'm just sitting here, typing and complaining.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Lots of close family deaths in early childhood followed by being raised with a (suspected) narcissist- so- that's when I first had suicidal thoughts.

Then onwards- becoming obsessed with art (as a kind of coping mechanism) to the exclusion of everything else. Now, struggling to get by financially.

Very little in life appeals to make me want to put the effort into changing my situation and I can see it only getting worse as I get older.

 

[lawlietsph]

Money. I don't have a job, I live in a small european country with zero support towards mentally ill people. I would kill for a home office job because I can't speak or do anything around people. I'm 99% sure I have undiagnosed autism. I never feel safe because of my financial situation and I can't afford basic things for my pets and it kills me.

Nobody loves me. My family is full of mentally ill, depressed, borderline and narcissistic individuals and all they ever did was using me for their own good.

My body is my worst enemy. I have a female body and it disgusts me so deeply that I wish I could burn myself alive. My female organs are very sick. I have hormonal and other diseases and I'm always in some kind of pain.

Life is meaningless and people are monsters. I can't cope with the cruelty some are capable of.

Nothing feels real. My mind is trying to dissociate as much as possible.

I HATE sunlight. It makes me feel anxious, left behind, sick, stuck.

I'm sorry it's not short. I could go on and on...

 

[SpiderLink]

Parents divorced and then my dad remarried to a weirdo who injected her weirdoness to my blood and convinced him to send me to crappy boarding school. This led me to social suicide and struggle to get girlfriend over the years. When I was working for this company and it seemed like I cached my break and was gonna make a big splash, they stole the work from me and torment me in addition.

Abuse, bullying, mental illnesses, disability's and very low self worth, worthless/useless, no one hears me out really, never felt accepted in my life, and I can't seem to move on from my past, and who I am. I know I'm a very kind and gentle person, yet. There's probably more reasons if I dig deeper

 

[sheleftme1]

1. Dad wasn't around so bpd and attachment issues.
2. Fell in love with someone who decided she hates me and put a restraining order on me and put me in jail. Of course I'm still in love with her yay me…
3. Lost everything I've worked for including my career and my record.

There really isn't anything I want that makes me want to stay alive

 

[outrider567]

My infant son just passed away in February and every second of every day living without him is torture.

So sorry--My longtime girlfriend passed away 16 months ago, and every day living without her is also pure torture, torture without end

 

[leanwimp67]

• Emptiness being everything I feel
• Gaining feelings for them to be just bad things
• My best friend try to kill himself

 

[Thotsuka]

Everything that could've gone wrong with me did go wrong. I was bullied at school and abused/emotionally neglected at home during childhood and my teen years. My self discovery phase in adolescence lead me through a wild ride, finding out that I'm trans and have attractions which nuke any possibility of me being in a relationship.

 

[BloomingStrella]

-despaired
-i'm a total waste of oxygen, absolutely useless human being
-not even pretty so couldn't have the opportunity to support a s/o and give them a good life

 

[downndone2]

Made disastrous decions while out of my mind
Lost my marriage and caused great issue to existing relationships
Ruined my life, all alone, isolated

 

[CHA0S]

Permanent Health Issues that appeared at a very young age. (Destroyed my dreams and I will have to live limited and in pain the rest of my life)
Loneliness and feeling like I have no purpose
Fear of not achieving something at life that I personally consider meaningful \ failing at trying to do so and waste my life

 

[leavingsoon99]

Aging/Diminishing Health
Diminishing Finances
No Hope For Future (Self or Humanity)

 

[winamp]

-no family
-years of bullying mixed with a lack of social skills and feeling like I've never connected with anyone and I just existed and was there and around
-never got to live my life for myself
-everytime I am of the cusp of things going right or improving some unknown force or the people around me stops things from going the way they should
-constant disappointment and abandonment

 

[crimsonpool]

1. 19 year old neet for 7 years with no friends and evil abusive family im stuck living with; unable to go to school or work
2. autistic, chronically ill& mentally ill (most inherited genetically from evil family) with low chance of getting better. in pain most of the time
3. really bad case of celebrity worship syndrome to the point where i get physically sick from jealousy or concern for his well being

summarised like this i guess it almost sounds salvageable but it's not

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

1 love
2 parents
3 poor/ bad health

 

[DyingToDie123]

Going to revive this for funsies:
1. Lifelong anhedonia
2. No friends
3. No chance at doing anything good with my life

 

[passivethought121]

1. Chronic dysphoria; dysthymia, GD, anxiety, obsessions, osfed
2. Stupidity; Inability to make friends, knowing I (have/am) the issue yet not caring
3. Death is the alternative option that I prefer and will pursue

 

[achb]

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