Discussion Whats your source of pain and why?

[EyeBeyond]

If you have more than one source of pain, you can also describe how it is and why is this ur source of pain

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing of course, to exist means to suffer so unnecessarily all while risking experiencing way worse suffering at any moment, all I wish for is to be permanently relieved from the futile and undesirable burden of existing as a human. No matter what human existence will always be an abomination to me, it's tragic how something so repulsive and dreadful human existence even evolved at all, simply existing causes me to suffer.

 

[Malaria]

A lifetime of abuse, neglect, and mental illness.

 

[R_N]

My human body because it always needs something. When I don't comply or my body malfunctions it tries to punish me.

 

[falling_snow]

Family, friends, society, judgement against me, and my own actions.

 

[Darkover]

leaving school with no GCSEs

getting dumped at 18 after a 2 and half year relationship broke my heart I never recovered not had a relationship for 20 years

going to jail for something I didn't do for 2 months when I was 18 had my 19th birthday in prison

getting diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 18

dislocated my shoulder when I was 18 never did go to the hospital it's dislocated 10 times so far

my teeth started to decay at 19 my parents never took me to the dentist, and I found out in jail that I had 22 cavities in my teeth

taking a paracetamol overdose in my early 20s led to a damaged stomach lining, i have to drink milk all the time to settle my stomach

at age 30 I got tinnitus and a brain injury from prolonged headphone use

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My source of pain is just merely existence itself

 

[strangelife]

I have neurological pain and disability, because of illness. I don't have metal pain, but depression is a common thing for people with illnesses

 

[tbroken]

There are way many reasons..
The main one is being born in the most vile place on heart, surrounded by scum.

 

[chandannh]

Unrequited love and feeling of being used and betrayed since my childhood. Ugly to look at, hate to watch myself in the mirror. Have been a burden to my family, unsuccessful in every aspect of life. Overthinker, my brain is always cooking stuff without a break.

And now please I beg you people, please let me know the possible ways to have an ending that wouldn't hurt much. I have already tried hanging myself, was too scared and the rope got cut. After this attempt I felt truly ashamed of myself as I failed at this as well. Since then I have been looking for some substance that could take away my life. Found a product on Amazon potassium thiocynate, hoping that it would work like a cyanide, but not sure and scared. Also found paraquat dichloride on Amazon, but wasn't sure if it would kill me or just cause some serious damage to the organs.

I am planning to leave my house on the day and go as far as possible hoping no one would find my body, but I just need some information on the poison similar to cyanide that I can buy or diy kind. I humbly request for the valuable information. Please help me people.

 

[divinemistress36]

Brain injury and genetic depression

 

[mtoro998]

Losing my wife to something that was out of my control. Getting my money stolen and have everything I worked so hard for crumble. An on going legal situation , and I have to look for a new place to move because my landlord wants me out while im dealing with this severe depression instead of just being able to stay here and cry my eyes out. It might even push me to cbt sooner than I wanted. My crappy landlord can clean up the mess and in this case I wouldnt feel bad. Im Just so tired of it all.

 

[Z-A]

Panic disorder and anxiety, previously had kidney stones for 2 years which was hell of a pain and a disgusting period of time.

I would've committed if it wasn't for Xanax that helped me to calm down and get myself back in control.

I wouldn't say that i'm depressed since I'm not sad most of the time, I still enjoy things like before but a little bit less the more time passes by.

 

[trashprincess]

Isolation and incompetence.

Never been able to really connect with others, and when I do it just makes me uncomfortable. Connections were never a part of my life growing up, and now it just feels too late.

Only thing in life that matters is if you have enough money to deserve being alive. Nothing matters until your needs are met. I am incapable of providing for myself, therefore I will always suffer.

I've been trying, I really have been. But I just get worse at handling my responsibilities, while the quality of my life continues to diminish. If I don't go willingly, it's only a couple more years until everything falls apart and I die out on the streets.

 

[Quinton Coldwater]

leaving school with no GCSEs

getting dumped at 18 after a 2 and half year relationship broke my heart I never recovered not had a relationship for 20 years

going to jail for something I didn't do for 2 months when I was 18 had my 19th birthday in prison

getting diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 18

dislocated my shoulder when I was 18 never did go to the hospital it's dislocated 10 times so far

my teeth started to decay at 19 my parents never took me to the dentist, and I found out in jail that I had 22 cavities in my teeth

taking a paracetamol overdose in my early 20s led to a damaged stomach lining, i have to drink milk all the time to settle my stomach

at age 30 I got tinnitus and a brain injury from prolonged headphone use

Dang and I thought my life was bad

 

[Linda]

It's hard to pin down, but basically it's a feeling that life is just more hassle than it is worth. Death will be a relief.

 

[coinflip]

Never had much compelling reason to live, I've always been disinterested in my own interests and not able to connect with other people the way they seem to be able to connect with each other. The one person I thought I did have a connection with, who I cared about the most, I ended up hurting in an irreconcilable way. So evidently I didn't even care about her enough. But I made a lifelong commitment to her, so now that I've fucked that up, my life is over.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

my diseased brain (a.k.a. autism)

My ex, Aaron, who emotionally abused me.

 

[return.]

A lifetime of loneliness and not having belonged anywhere my entire life.

 

[broth0100]

Feels like everything is a point of pain these days. Everything i see and hear, my surroundings, my past, watever the fck is coming for me from the future. The happiness i feel causes pain the sadness i feel causes pain, sunny days and rainy ones, all painful. The love i give and the love i take. It all hurts

 

[sserafim]

Never had much compelling reason to live, I've always been disinterested in my own interests and not able to connect with other people the way they seem to be able to connect with each other.

Same. The sources of my pain are ASD, life itself, the world, society, capitalism, having to eventually work for a living just to survive, etc. Life seems like an uphill battle that isn't worth it in the end. Life is a game of survival where the destination for everyone is death. The struggle just isn't worth it for me

 

[Cakeisalie]

Existence itself, death is inevitable, I don't intend to let this moment fall into the hands of the pure randomness of the future, there are people with many plans and goals in life who lose their lives brutally and suddenly, I use my freedom of choice which I have given myself through my will as a conscious being to be able to choose the method, place, time to end my own existence.

 

[AresCohere]

Everything.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Fear, anxiety, betrayal, and aging.

 

[lostmind38]

Life itself

 

[littlebean]

Existence

 

[existtoexit]

The cause is my illness, C-PTSD and DID. Living with these everyday, every month, every single moment has made me realize how much I hurt those and make those suffer just to help "cure" my conditions. Treatment costs money and takes an emotional toll on the people who have to support a person who is always helpless and unable to move. That emotional toll has cost me so many people who I wish would be able to see they never needed to care. Some have realized it, When you've exhausted everything, the only real pain comes from yourself.

 

[LackingLuster]

Unrequited love and feeling of being used and betrayed since my childhood. Ugly to look at, hate to watch myself in the mirror. Have been a burden to my family, unsuccessful in every aspect of life. Overthinker, my brain is always cooking stuff without a break.

And now please I beg you people, please let me know the possible ways to have an ending that wouldn't hurt much. I have already tried hanging myself, was too scared and the rope got cut. After this attempt I felt truly ashamed of myself as I failed at this as well. Since then I have been looking for some substance that could take away my life. Found a product on Amazon potassium thiocynate, hoping that it would work like a cyanide, but not sure and scared. Also found paraquat dichloride on Amazon, but wasn't sure if it would kill me or just cause some serious damage to the organs.

I am planning to leave my house on the day and go as far as possible hoping no one would find my body, but I just need some information on the poison similar to cyanide that I can buy or diy kind. I humbly request for the valuable information. Please help me people.

Can you please message me the amazon link you used to find paraquat dichloride?

 

[feelinggloomy]

Losing my son who was my world

 

[ForWhatPurpose]

Where do I start? it's just everything. The worst part is it's not so much pain anymore as it is just my unwillingness to put up with it all and watch myself become less of the person I want to be. Like the scales are just way out of whack and the whole deal of life is gibbed. I tried to make it not suck, I accepted it sucked, and now I just want off.