Discussion What's your main reason for wanting to CTB?

[TinyGuy]

Everyone here have good reasons while I'm here not even knowing why I want to CTB

 

[aceless_spade]

I'm a college graduate who is stuck working at a factory because no one else is willing to hire me. I'm in a marriage that I worry is slowly dying which would spell doom for me as I have few friends and the one I do have I only see once every 4 or 5 months. I've had bad mental health since about 2017 and have been wanting to ctb seriously since 2023. It even got to the point where I was put into a psych ward against my will. I feel lost, empty and unable to move forward. I don't know what to and I just want this pain to end.

 

[MyaMia]

I'm a college graduate who is stuck working at a factory because no one else is willing to hire me. I'm in a marriage that I worry is slowly dying which would spell doom for me as I have few friends and the one I do have I only see once every 4 or 5 months. I've had bad mental health since about 2017 and have been wanting to ctb seriously since 2023. It even got to the point where I was put into a psych ward against my will. I feel lost, empty and unable to move forward. I don't know what to and I just want this pain to end.

I'm in a very similar position - dead end call centre job, deader marriage and seeing no reason to keep on going. Here's hoping we find peace

 

[broth0100]

never been happy for long, keep getting unhappier. meds could fix it probably but i dunno im lazy, dont feel like it. no zest for life i guess. im chronically stagnant n my own worst enemy

 

[Major Tom]

Feeling guilt right now about my suicidal ideations. I could improve my life but am not motivated to push through it again and even if I reached all my goals, the would leave me hollow regardless. Had a traumatic brain injury with internal hemorrhage as an infant because of my parents, which is probably the cause of my adhd. Other reasons are ocd, no close friends, perfectionism, depression, not enough money to study because of permanent financial difficulties. But at last, I don't have it that bad, being very suicidal nonetheless. So i have not one reason, but only many smaller ones.

 

[karel1987]

I got bad Anxiety and dizzyness. Thats lead to depression, my Anxiety is so heavy that i cant function anymore.

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

life feels so meaningless for me that i forget that things could feel like something to begin with. even when i try to see the bright side of things i can't find many reasons to stay anymore, i used to want to live for my friends but after years go by i realize those people don't need me like i need them. as i grow up i see the reality of life and i don't really think i can handle it. maybe i'm not strong enough but regardless of strength i don't think i even want to stick around for all these years, i just don't see the purpose anymore

 

[soldelunae]

Crippled with anxiety and incapable of thinking or enjoying anything due to OCD, rampant self-destructive behaviors and repeated self-isolation have helped me drive away just about anyone I care about, friends family and all. Meds and therapy don't make a dent in the kind of miserable I am. I have no passion to live for myself, no interest in any career and am not motivated by anything to make this all feel worthwhile, and to make it better I've just recently lost the relationship I had with the only person I've ever seen myself spending life with. Thoughts of CTB have been present before I was old enough to actually know the word "suicide", and these days it sounds like bliss

 

[dqngerous]

a whole life of crippling anxiety and major depression. been feeling more hopeless as i get older. social awkwardness. not fitting anywhere.