Discussion What’s your ideal death/fantasy?

[DragonSlayer]

I just want to sleep and not wake up. That or taking a "peaceful pill" at some scenic area with hills or mountains.

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

getting stabbed to death by a cute girl and losing consciousness while in her warm embrace

 

[BRAINWORMS]

It's a naive dream that probably shows how self-centered I am, but probably in a hospital bed next to people I love, with the feeling of being freshly showered and falling asleep wrapped in blankets after a long tiring day of exploring a new city... and just never waking up. Everyone gets closure and I don't have to feel pain or be alone.

I think being alone will be the worst part of CTBing, but obviously I can't invite anyone to be there.

 

[Jupit3rs]

My fantasy is similar to yours... I just go with the sea and pass out, then drown: feels a bit romantic in a way. My ideal death tho... I want to have the best day ever and go back home, take a shower, dress nicely, laying in bed meanwhile i slowly drink N. Too perfect to be real...

 

[almaranthine]

My fantasy is similar to yours... I just go with the sea and pass out, then drown: feels a bit romantic in a way. My ideal death tho... I want to have the best day ever and go back home, take a shower, dress nicely, laying in bed meanwhile i slowly drink N. Too perfect to be real...

There is definitely something romantic and almost "pure" about floating away into non-existence. Someone on this thread mentioned their ideal death would be being euthanized while being surrounded by supportive family/friends... that would be so beautiful too. I want to be dressed nicely when I die too. Maybe even have an enjoyable time shopping with my mom picking out my last outfit. Too good to ever be real, sadly.

 

[Un-]

I've always wanted to die by cutting my wrists in a bath tub. I envy the small number of people that have died that way. I think it's poetic. I think it's brave.

 

[almaranthine]

I've always wanted to die by cutting my wrists in a bath tub. I envy the small number of people that have died that way. I think it's poetic. I think it's brave.

I've fantasized about this method hundreds of times. Used to cut myself when I was very young with razor blades and I unfortunately can never forget the strange and twisted relief I got from watching the blood run down my legs in little streams. If exsanguination was more reliable I feel I might have tried. I would hate to mutilate my arm and lose feeling or use of one of my hands if I failed though. I once fell through a glass coffee table and got a huge gash across the palm of my hand and almost severed a tendon. I remember thinking how absolutely shit it would be to not be able to use that hand had the injury been worse. These are the thoughts that always cross my mind and stop me when I consider the method. Shame it is not as simple and peaceful as it is depicted in film.

 

[UpsideDownFace]

My dream death is getting shot in the chest, whether self-inflicted or done by someone else. I know it's a painful way to go but I deserve it.

 

[Un-]

I've fantasized about this method hundreds of times. Used to cut myself when I was very young with razor blades and I unfortunately can never forget the strange and twisted relief I got from watching the blood run down my legs in little streams. If exsanguination was more reliable I feel I might have tried. I would hate to mutilate my arm and lose feeling or use of one of my hands if I failed though. I once fell through a glass coffee table and got a huge gash across the palm of my hand and almost severed a tendon. I remember thinking how absolutely shit it would be to not be able to use that hand had the injury been worse. These are the thoughts that always cross my mind and stop me when I consider the method. Shame it is not as simple and peaceful as it is depicted in film.

I also self harm. A lot but it's died down, thank god. It's.. Something that people who don't self harm can't understand is the mania, relief, and awe of watching your blood poor out of your body. Like, that's you. That's what's keeping you alive. Your body is crying floods of red.

It sucks that it's difficult to pull off. I don't know. If I ever find myself alone for a day, I think I might try.

 

[SarRy]

Cyanide. Alone. In the forest. I should have never been born.

 

[onetapgandhi]

I want to die in an industrial accident saving others' life

 

[Traveler VII]

Though not my preferred method, saving someone (my wife, a relative or even an innocent stranger) and dying in the process seems honorable - minus the trauma to those who witnessed my excruciating final moments.

Severely dulled senses while slowly submerging in a sun-dappled, oceanic expanse really does seem ethereal and romantic, but still not my top choice.

My preferred method:

No one else. Shower, immaculately groomed, wearing my favorite suit.

A small room, clean and sparse, with a comfortable armchair.

Two of my phones - one with my ideal music playlist on loop and the other in a VR headset displaying the last images I wish to see in this life.

N or another similarly powerful, ingested agent.

Private, Painless, Peaceful.

 

[dead lightbulb]

For maximum comfortability, passing away while unconscious/asleep in a cold and snug bed by natural causes.

But for the "moral" part of me, passing away after leading protests with one over encompassing goal of uniting people together against the corrupt system that allows for fellow humans to be dehumanized, devalued, and discriminated against based on factors out of their control. I personally believe that existing's already shitty, and on top of that being born into a certain sex, race, having a certain sexual orientation and etc. shouldn't be an extra detriment. So passing away after playing some part in tearing the system down would be one way to go. But that's the revolutionary in me speaking because every other part of me knows this is unrealistic.

 

[Adamsnolife]

Ideal death will be Beachy Head.

Fantasy death would be gun to the head while playing Russian Roulette opposite a woman in a dress, underwear of Bra and knickers and tights and good shoes.

1 bullet in holster for the shoes. 1 click at a time.

If still alive

2 bullets ( not in slots together) for the stockings

3 bullets for the dress

4 bullets for the underwear

If no more clothes can be removed and still alive all bullets in holster and off I go.

 

[thx1138]

I constantly fantasize about death. It's pretty weird and makes me feel like a freak, but I can't help it :(

I think about being murdered or executed. I think about historical scenarios. If I see someone on TV die, I always imagine being in their place.

Sometimes I want to end my life peacefully, taking N or Fentanyl or something like that.

Sometimes I hate myself, and think I deserve pain, e.g. starving to death or being burned alive.

 

[leeloosnow]

Yeah I definitely wouldn't want to be awake during the drowning in any capacity... simply drugged and then drown before waking up. It sucks how hard it is to get prescriptions, even for the SN method. I still don't know what I'm going to do about that as it feels like the best method for me. If only I knew some sketchy people and could get drugs that I could OD with... I personally don't and wouldn't want to take the chance/risks of seeking out somebody that would sell to me. It would be great to just get high, feel good, pass out, and die. That would be the gold standard.

yea that's rare, not a lot of ppl day drowning, but i guess if you're passed out and didn't notice wouldn't be a big difference. using alcohol to potentiate benzos is a fun trick i wouldn't know anyone who's ever done that... not having bz's has been the biggest roadblock for me/ctb. if i have them i eat them b/c it makes me not feel, hard to stash away until the right time to ctb if i'm feeling awful so frequently. doc's are real picky about those especially, but iirc there's quasi-legal analogues available some places.
lets see... if i had my perfect ctb.... hm. one idea isn't very appropriate, so i guess i'd just get high af and go out that way, if i knew it'd work. often doesn't, esp since i got a tolerance (kinda). maybe think of something newsworthy and make a political statement with it, but we're desensitized to death in the news nowadays :(

 

[almaranthine]

I constantly fantasize about death. It's pretty weird and makes me feel like a freak, but I can't help it :(

I think about being murdered or executed. I think about historical scenarios. If I see someone on TV die, I always imagine being in their place.

Sometimes I want to end my life peacefully, taking N or Fentanyl or something like that.

Sometimes I hate myself, and think I deserve pain, e.g. starving to death or being burned alive.

I used to quite literally sit in church (was forced by my mother to attend) when I was younger and fantasize about different deaths (age 20ish). I'd imagine what I would do in the event of a mass shooter, like jumping in front of someone else or purposefully trying to get shot. I haven't been well in a long time... I also put myself in risky situations going out alone late at night (taking out the trash, going to get cigarettes, leaving my door unlocked) thinking maybe I might get attacked and could escalate the situation. Fucked up. I understand where you're coming from.

yea that's rare, not a lot of ppl day drowning, but i guess if you're passed out and didn't notice wouldn't be a big difference. using alcohol to potentiate benzos is a fun trick i wouldn't know anyone who's ever done that... not having bz's has been the biggest roadblock for me/ctb. if i have them i eat them b/c it makes me not feel, hard to stash away until the right time to ctb if i'm feeling awful so frequently. doc's are real picky about those especially, but iirc there's quasi-legal analogues available some places.
lets see... if i had my perfect ctb.... hm. one idea isn't very appropriate, so i guess i'd just get high af and go out that way, if i knew it'd work. often doesn't, esp since i got a tolerance (kinda). maybe think of something newsworthy and make a political statement with it, but we're desensitized to death in the news nowadays :(

Yeah, I've only ever had a prescription for benzos once in my life (Ativan and klonopin) and the dr was completely against continuing the prescription no matter what I said and wanted to give me ssris. I walked out the office, tossed the prescription and gave up. Sad, because at the time the klonopin really helped me at work. But yeah, if I had a continuing prescription or access I would totally do the same thing and end up not able to save up a significant amount. If I had reliable access to drugs, I would definitely try to OD but I don't know anyone and barely leave my apartment.

 

[Summer Child]

Middle school me: yeet a car off a mountain bend on a cold day where the roads are slippery. Never be found, just be presumed missing. Optional comedic relief: be found several years later by a bunch of schoolchildren on a fid trip, and traumatize them all. Don't ask. I basically forgot about this until I saw this question.

Current me: drift off into the sea on a burning ship, viking style. While still alive though.

 

[almaranthine]

Middle school me: yeet a car off a mountain bend on a cold day where the roads are slippery. Never be found, just be presumed missing. Optional comedic relief: be found several years later by a bunch of schoolchildren on a fid trip, and traumatize them all. Don't ask. I basically forgot about this until I saw this question.

Current me: drift off into the sea on a burning ship, viking style. While still alive though.

Your current reply ranks up there with the guy who said he wanted to throw himself into a high category tornado. I could have never anticipated some of these ambitious and wild scenarios. It's like some epic cinema style death! In this hypothetical are you hoping to drown with the ship or burn??

 

[makethepainstop]

Ideally, I would love to come out of a grocery store and put the groceries in the trunk of my car. Then as I am about to open my car door to leave a shooter with a high-powered rifle would shoot me in the back of the head. When the round impacts the back of my skull and takes a big chunk out of it...for my body to slam into my car then bounce back,(with my arms flying out), then and fall landing on my back then for a very large pool of blood to pour out and create an ever-widening pool of blood. A delicious and most lovely thought! Thank you for asking, I do ever so love this particular scenario of my death! :)

 

[Summer Child]

Your current reply ranks up there with the guy who said he wanted to throw himself into a high category tornado. I could have never anticipated some of these ambitious and wild scenarios. It's like some epic cinema style death! In this hypothetical are you hoping to drown with the ship or burn??

Burn I guess? And then sink with the ship. It is a most honorable burial. Probably be no valkyries to welcome me in Valhalla though

 

[Gloom]

I guess if I could die in a romantic way I would love to get stabbed by my partner at a beach or something

 

[Altvtysp]

Mine would be going out to a beach where there weren't any people around, getting into the water, and passing out and drowning. I don't know why but the idea of being unconscious and drowning is so appealing to me... as it would likely be ruled accidental, and no one would have to know you meant to kill yourself. Would suck for the first person to see you washed up on the beach though. I'd feel a bit bad about that. If I had the adequate drugs to accomplish this i feel like I would have definitely tried. Problem with this fantasy method is of course someone seeing you go under, rescuing you, being resuscitated and having potential brain damage after. Ideal scenario: no one's around, no one shows up.
I've also always idealized the drowning in the bathtub with a glass of wine after taking some Valium (or similar drug) method as it could never be determined if it was genuinely a suicide attempt or a recreational accident. I remember having a prescription for klonopin wayyy back for a month (dr wouldn't renew it and I was so pissed) and drinking on it purposefully. Boy do benzos potentiate alcohol. It was a good buzz.

Ideal death? In my sleep (like massive heart attack or something) without any previous knowledge that was going to happen. How I'll end up dying? In the near future being strangled by a rope.

 

[Jadzia]

Dying in my sleep

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

i also think of drowning myself in the ocean, right now its my main method. im going to jump off the pier and drown .

 

[makethepainstop]

I do so dearly love the idea of being shot with a high-powered rifle, from a distance.
To my weird mind being shot so that my body is jarred by the impact of the round striking me, and then lying on the ground with a quickly enlarging pool of blood around me is just too cool. Like when in a war a soldier gets hit in the chest several times and his body jerks as each round impacts him. His arms fly out from the impact and he hits the ground deader than a doornail. Ok, so I am weird! Love to all here!

 

[outrider567]

A peaceful one

 

[tosch]

My end? Of course, N would be a dream. But my prefered Methode is to Go with a Pump gun together with another Person. Sudden and painless death in Most cases. SI is a Problem for me. E.g. i never could Take SN, so much time to cry for Help.

 

[ineverlived]

die painlessly sitting on a beach in california watching the sunset.

but i will die before i see america or any other country i want, so sad.

 

[niiina]

Mine is simple, I'd ike to have a poison that, like in the movies, you put in your drink and just die immediately after haven taken it. I always be jealous when I see this in movis tv shows or telenovelas, the person drinks, make this face of "no u didn't" and drops dead. Oh man drinking one of those, that's my ultimate phantasy