Whats your best joke?

[Sadgirl121]

What do you call a duck on drugs?

A quackhead
Why cant gay men be in a wheelchair?

You can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

(Funy because Im gay)

 

[noname223]

My life. (Sorry this joke was necessary I am not good at telling such jokes. I like humor more when it is situational.)

 

[UniqueWorm]

Its a five minute long story that ends in A butt joke

 

[amnesia999]

It's difficult to think of a "best joke", there are so many of them. Recently I heard this joke...

This burglar broke into a house in the middle of the night. He knew the occupants were away, but tried to be stealthy so as not to alert the neighbors. As he searched for valuables, he heard this voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
He stood straight up and froze for several minutes, but hearing nothing, decided his brain was playing tricks on him. But all of the sudden, he heard the voice again: "Jesus is watching you."
This time he swung his flashlight around until he saw a birdcage with a parrot inside. He relaxed, went over, and said, "Polly want a cracker?" The parrot replied, "Oh I speak English." The burglar said, "Really? What's your name?" The parrot said, "Moses." The burglar demanded, "What kind of people would name their parrot 'Moses'?" And the parrot replied, "The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler 'Jesus'."

Its a five minute long story that ends in A butt joke

Come on, let's hear it.

 

[Trismegistus_13]

Norm Macdonald's moth joke is my favorite. To keep it short, a moth flies into a podiatrist's office, and the doctor asks what's wrong. The joke then has a very long-winded session about all the problems the moth is facing in his personal life, especially with his mental health. The doc says that he's a podiatrist and typically works on foot-related problems, and it sounds like the moth needs a psychiatrist. He asks why the moth came into his office, and the moth replies, "'Cause the light was on."

 

[Professor K]

Losing your feline friend can be a cat-astrophe..............!

 

[Pluto]

 

[justkatie]

Every time I touch my left leg, my right leg, my left arm, my torso and my head it hurts but when I touch my right arm I feel okay.

Yeah you idiot, you've broke your finger.

 

[amnesia999]

Q) How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
A) Wave at him!