Discussion What's the point of doing anything at all if you'll ctb anyway?

[WornOutLife]

I've been asked this question more than once.
I'm learning japanese and portuguese (and plan to learn more languages) and when I mentioned this fact on different threads, some people said: "Why are you doing that? When you die, you won't be speaking any japanese. "

And the thing is, although they might be right, I disagree.
I don't know if I'll ctb or not but doing something productive, that you love, which takes me A LOT OF EFFORT because I can BARELY LEAVE MY BED sometimes, feels so refreshing and pleasant!

I have bipolar disorder so there are days in which I'm a useful, dynamic human being whereas there are some others in which I suck but when I'm in a good mood I think: "Why not try to lose some pounds, learn more japanese, learn more about the world I live in, etc before dying? That wouldn't be too bad, would it?" and I just turn my reflexions into actions!

What are your thoughts? Is it pointless to do something you like or something you find hard but which will give you pleasure in the end even though you'll ctb sooner or later?

I think it's not! If you don't meet that girl/boy, lose some pounds, learn something new, when will you do it? There won't probably be second chances in the afterlife. (if there's any at all)

 

[lugerepair]

I mean, by their logic there would be no point in doing anything ever, since everybody dies eventually. If something feels good to do, why not do it? Maybe they assume that learning a new language yields no intrinsic rewards, but many people love learning for the sake of learning. In addition, learning new things is very good for the brain in general. Might even help depression. Several years ago, when I felt myself getting depressed, I actually tried learning Japanese because I'd read something about how creating new synapses is good for depression or something (this was in the context of shrooms, but I figured it might work with learning new things as well). Either way, I love learning new stuff, it's not a chore for me. Why would I deprive myself of that?

 

[Misantrope]

If you have aims for the future and you're trying your best to fulfill them, it means that not everything is lost for you.

If there's something that brings joy and fulfilment you should definitely engage yourself in these activities and even if there are bad days, you'll be able thrive.

But there are cases, when the one is completely apathetic and nothing gives them that fulfilment. I'm one of these cases. I'm still doing things, because I have no means to suicide and if I stop doing them my life will become complete hell. So yeh I'm doing things not because I want to do them, or they give me a pleasure, I just have no other choice.

 

[WornOutLife]

I love learning new stuff, it's not a chore for me. Why would I deprive myself of that?

Glad to know we think alike! I couldn't agree more!

But there are cases, when the one is completely apathetic and nothing gives them that fulfilment. .

You're right! I can relate. There are days in which I just can't do anything but I guess the bipolar disorder has this weird advantage in which there are days I'm "awesome" lol
I hope you can feel better soon, btw.

 

[Misantrope]

You're right! I can relate. There are days in which I just can't do anything but I guess the bipolar disorder has this weird advantage in which there are days I'm "awesome" lol

I hope you can feel better soon, btw.

Actually I envy you :) I wish I had manic episodes, at least occasionally.. It's not that I'm feeling bad. It's that I feel empty, I've become shell of my own self. Yeh I was always somehow deranged but like 5,6 years ago I still had aspirations and dreams.. Now at the age of 28 I've become like an elder who has wasted all of his life doing nothing. I can't find will to follow a path to master something, to become better, I can't even concentrate so if I start learning something I cease after 10-15 minutes.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Never engage with a stupid question, since there is no intelligent answer.

 

[Lostandlooking]

You've said it yourself; doing something you love feels pleasant and refreshing. If you're able to feel that way it's definitely a good thing. Getting to that point can be difficult. Sometimes nothing feels right and everything is awful and I feel apathetic no matter what I do. Doing the same stuff in that mindset doesn't make me feel good. But when I'm connecting to myself, slowly, sometimes I can enjoy the things I love again. For a little bit.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

There's a point if you still have things that you enjoy and if you still have reasons to live. I'm one of those people that don't enjoy anything and don't have a genuine reason to live but I still have to do some things to make my life more tolerable for the time being. I've personally never been able to stick with anything for very long because of anhedonia and my inability to do anything productive has been a destructive force in my life.

 

[StateOfMind]

Based on your posts it seems like there is still a lot of hope going on for you.
I would say if you have the capacity to achieve before ctb than do so.
If not, it wont matter anyway lol

 

[lugerepair]

I have bipolar disorder so there are days in which I'm a useful, dynamic human being whereas there are some others in which I suck

Same here. Except I don't have bipolar disorder, but I have PMDD. But it's very similar in that it's cyclical. Some days I feel so good I just sit there, drinking it all in and think "wow, it's insane how good I feel right now". Like I'm high on my own brain chemicals. And I'm able to be so productive and do so many things. Other days, I want to die, and all I can do is stay in bed all day. The dishes pile up, I don't shower, I feel horrible.

 

[LastFlowers]

What's the point in doing anything at all when death comes for all of us eventually, anyways? Suicide or dying "prematurely" doesn't really change that sentiment.

Obviously all of us still do something even if it's just writhing in bed all day.
But for learning a language in particular, it would make more sense why most planning on ctb wouldn't bother.
It's more than a distraction and requires a lot of effort and energy that most suicidal people don't have, even if they would like to invest in learning a language otherwise. The time put forth usually implies an expectation for future plans in making use of this new skill. It's understandable why an endeavor like that would seem in opposition to someone planning on ending their life sooner than later. But I think it's clear you are still on the fence-so to speak-so that reasoning doesn't really apply to you so much as it would others who have their endgame set in stone.

 

[AE2021]

Very good question and I agree with the idea of participating in what you enjoy when you can, it can kind of help get you through the down times. There doesn't have to be some grand outcome or finish line. I constantly battle with "what is the point" of doing a lot of things. Right now all I really enjoy is walking through the forest areas and being with nature. It feels very peaceful. Not interested in anything to do with people or becoming more of something one way or another. But if that changes and I want to participate - that is okay too.

 

[Pen>Sword]

This is such a motivation booster! Thank you for sharing your philosophy.

I'm just being productive just in case I decide to live. I don't want to waste my life in unproductive ways.

 

[Blue Rose]

I agree with you, I symphasise with you. I have diagnosed mild depression and under the treatment.
But my suicidal thought ARE NOT pathological results.

I have been asked by someone. "Why would like to CTB? Have you a reasonable reason?"

Ok, I acknowledge. I have both light and darkness in my heart. I compass and hate the world!
Ok, I acknowledge. I am never able to answer that question with my reason and logic only!

My desperation is too deep to throw out. But I think it can't be a ground of living recklessly.
As long as my desperation is with me, I will promise CTB. And I think I have the right to end my life on my accord.
I JUST, will do my best first, and tried other alternatives.

I might use my last resort, but who cares?
I don't know and would not like to know why I should live on or die logically, but who cares?

 

[summers]

I think what you do with your time depends on several factors:
1. Your projected ctb timeline. If you were planning to ctb in a couple days/weeks, then you probably wouldn't engage in something as time-consuming and lengthy as learning a new language.
2. Why you're choosing to ctb. If you have a terminal or worsening physical condition, that may preclude many opportunities. If you're choice is more due to emotional and/or relationship issues, you may be able to pursue more interests.
3. Money. Regardless of choosing to ctb or not, more money / higher-paying jobs allow for more personal exploration and fulfillment beyond sustenance.

All I can say is keep doing what you enjoy. There is no reason not to make the most of your time left here, whether it's days or years.

 

[Sensei]

As a Zen Buddhist, my view is that even though we inevitably will die, either by old age or by our own hand, we can still live in the moment. Even if we knew that we would die tomorrow, there would still be thousands of moments to experience.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I think that it depends on what the individual decides, since 'point' (i.e. is an action's worthwhileness) is a subjective thing. For me, yes there's definitely still a point in doing things, to try and find joy (still looking...), although the point behind most of my actions has probably been pain avoidance more than anything else, which is sad if you ask me.

 

[Lupgevif]

If I had interest in doing anything I wouldn't be thinking about killing myself. It's not that "I see no point because I want to die", but rather that "I want to die because I see no point".

 

[NothingElseMatters]

I'm brazilian, if you want to exercise your portuguese

 

[Lmd]

You have to entertain yourself with something until the end day comes.

 

[262653]

I've decided to tackle Japanese too. I really enjoy the process, so I don't care much if all of the acquired knowledge will be wiped out with my eventual demise.

Would you rather do what you like, then die and forget everything, or not do what you like, then die and forget everything? I mean, it's that simple, isn't it.

 

[imsorrythatimhere]

Because it simply feels good. Nothing I'm currently doing amounts to anything but procrastination of responsibilities, but as the way I see it, I'm going to die anyways, I might as well try my best to enjoy my time left

 

[WornOutLife]

Because it simply feels good. Nothing I'm currently doing amounts to anything but procrastination of responsibilities, but as the way I see it, I'm going to die anyways, I might as well try my best to enjoy my time left

Way to go! I agree with you! It's better to enjoy our time left. Although it might be really difficult when we're in the DOWNS ZONE or simply depressed.

 

[girlofduty]

While I agree with doing what you like in the meantime, where to find the motivation?

I have downs and no ups. I wouldn't mind having at least one hour of "ups" per day. I'm sure that would shock my family in a good way. It's been over a decade since I've smiled and truly meant it. Or genuinely enjoyed a moment. It's not that I'm ungrateful because I am truly grateful for all the good and some of the bad, but I can't seem to show it so everyone thinks me miserable, and I can't say that I blame them. Sorry, I think I went off topic.

 

[Isisnefert]

I can only say that I admire you

 

[MindFrog]

I do wish I had that kind of desire or at least a dream I want to achieve. I guess it's just easy to get into that pessimistic mindset when you're empty. Some materialistic desire kind of help but it's short lived.

The flame has died out for good.

 

[WornOutLife]

I do wish I had that kind of desire or at least a dream I want to achieve. I guess it's just easy to get into that pessimistic mindset when you're empty. Some materialistic desire kind of help but it's short lived.

The flame has died out for good.

I totally agree with you. Being pessimistic is the easiest part.
For instance, those days in which I don't wanna leave my dad are the most depressing but the easiest because I just have to close my eyes and do nothing.

@girlofduty :

Finding the motivation to do something is extremely hard. I'm really unstable but I guess I'm still alive thanks to my hobbies!
You just gotta try to find something new which might like you. Otherwise, the only option left is to be sad and depressed all day and I'm really fed up with that.

 

[Rolliewoo]

I've been asked this question more than once.
I'm learning japanese and portuguese (and plan to learn more languages) and when I mentioned this fact on different threads, some people said: "Why are you doing that? When you die, you won't be speaking any japanese. "

And the thing is, although they might be right, I disagree.
I don't know if I'll ctb or not but doing something productive, that you love, which takes me A LOT OF EFFORT because I can BARELY LEAVE MY BED sometimes, feels so refreshing and pleasant!

I have bipolar disorder so there are days in which I'm a useful, dynamic human being whereas there are some others in which I suck but when I'm in a good mood I think: "Why not try to lose some pounds, learn more japanese, learn more about the world I live in, etc before dying? That wouldn't be too bad, would it?" and I just turn my reflexions into actions!

What are your thoughts? Is it pointless to do something you like or something you find hard but which will give you pleasure in the end even though you'll ctb sooner or later?

I think it's not! If you don't meet that girl/boy, lose some pounds, learn something new, when will you do it? There won't probably be second chances in the afterlife. (if there's any at all)

Love this ❤ gotta roll with the good days and make the most of them especially when they're few and far between. Its Never pointless doing ANYTHING that can make u even the tiniest bit happy or fulfilled

 

[NormaJeane]

What is the point of doing anything if you are going to commit suicide anyway and what is the point of living when we all are going to die? I believe that depends on how old you are and your state of health. I believe we all should do the most of the time we have left and when life only will be meaningless suffering, suicide is justified. But everything and everyone will die, so life is actually meaningless - the universe and human life is limited in time.

 

[FuneralCry]

There is no point to doing anything really. Every activity we do as humans is just passing time until we die. If we achieve anything it doesn't matter in the end it is just an distraction from death. People often do things to convince themselves that their life has a meaning or purpose when in reality our only purpose is to die. However we can gain temporary satisfaction from certain activities.