Venting what’s the point in living to grow old?

[iloveyouihateyou]

i don't know how "happy" people fantasize about growing old. i genuinely wish i could live in their mind for a day and see what's motivating them to keep going. some people have told me they want to be grandparents and stuff like that and that's cool and all but i just don't see the fucking point in even living this year.

i'm tired of hoping for a better future i don't think it's coming.. like to be realistic things will only get harder and unless i become a millionaire somehow (highly highly unlikely) i'll have to work my ass off everyday just to live in a rented apartment, never owning shit in this economy with the jobs i'm envisioning. like what if i can't find a good job by the time i'm 30, and there's nothing wrong with working a minimum wage job like you can still buy things and it can still sustain you, matter of fact i hope to god that i can get one right now… but i don't know, i don't know if i want to live life if i know what's ahead of me. i don't even want to be awake today i don't even want to live to next the next day.

it's just so lonely on this planet man like i know so many people are in the same situation and it helps to talk and share your thoughts, but after the conversation ends i'm back to being in agonizing pain.. i can't just have people talking to me 24/7 i know everyone has a life to live so i'm just wondering how i'm going to ever feel better as the years go on.

honestly i feel like i'm too broken and too fucked up to be "fixed" and honestly i don't even want to get better for the most part i wish i could just die silently without hurting those around me. i don't want to grow old feeling like this. the thought of feeling this multiple years later makes me want to end my life right now. i genuinely look forward to nothing in life anymore, videogames grow boring and meaningless. the only thing that's motivating me to be alive and get a job is actually to just do drugs cause it's the only thing that i've found enjoyment in unfortunately. i love the way it makes me feel and even better i love how it kills me slowly, it feels like the best of both worlds seriously.

idek man i'm going on a tangent but yeah…. what's the fucking point in growing old? i don't see one.

if things get better somehow that would be cool but if things don't turn around in the next 5 years i'm hoping i just drop dead like my best friend did from doing so many drugs. died so young and this is so fucked up to say but i almost envy them i want to die and be with her again. i wish she was still alive man it's so confusing i just want to be dead with them now that they're gone but yeahhhhh… bad night. i'm talking crazy

if you read this all the way through i really appreciate your time and i hope you have a nice day today :D

 

[Worndown]

Depending on circumstances, it can be great or hell. No predicting how it will go.

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

Depending on circumstances, it can be great or hell. No predicting how it will go.

yeah you're right there's no way to actually predict how it goes, like even as i contemplate life, good things could still happen for me that i'm not aware of yet. i guess the difficulty is sticking around to see if any of that "good" actually happens. it honestly feels like gambling in a way, the way i risk more years of suffering in hopes of anything turning out

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Like you said, depends on what you have going on in your life, whether you have the kinds of things that help you to thrive, or only enough that you only exist. And if you're alone, I mean completely and utterly alone, well, that's an entirely different dynamic. Also, you need to have your health because without it everything just gets harder. You know a lot of older people, eventually, end up in nursing homes of some sort. The thought of that doesn't appeal to me at all - possibly having my ass wiped and being fed by someone else. No. There's just no way. And in my situation (alone) it sounds like the worst horror show I could ever imagine and I want no part in it. I HAVE to take myself out before something like that happens to me.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Life is a blood sport for me at this point. I'm alive out of spite.

 

[Ariii]

If someone has had a good life, there are plenty of reasons why. Such as watching their kids grow up, being able to (finally) retire and relax, having a lifetime partner, etc.

Though I wonder how many people say that because it's not socially acceptable to say, "I wanna kill myself before I can obliterate my back by just tripping" And I imagine a decent amount of people don't consider the implications of getting old. Tbh I think that a good amount of people would choose to die younger rather than old, a lot of people just don't say it as freely or think that deeply about it

 

[bankai]

As long as both my physical and mental health is reasonable, old age is fine for me. Moment either one of these starts to falter is when I want to Gtfo.I am seeing my mother in her old age and it's not pretty. Knee pain, back pain, shoulder pain, everything hurts,she can't walk anymore. She can't eat the things she used to enjoy. It's just miserable. From a logical perspective, if you're just miserable all the time , then what's the point of being alive?

 

[nonameno5]

i dont know. i dont wish to grow old. the pain and suffering that only worsens as you get older is not worth the "little joys" in life to me.
but i guess i could see how people would want to see their loved ones and where their lives go. go on to have children and spend time with the next generations when you get older. see time pass and live through the worlds changes. healthy people must think of the future and enjoy the thought of enjoying the little things with loved ones for as long as they could. i wish i could be as blissful as the people who can look forward to growing old.

 

[Pluto]

 

[gottacheckout]

Growing old kind of sneaks up on you, it's not like you wake up one day and say "damn, I'm old". For a majority of my life I engaged in high risk activities (not sexual), the adrenaline was stronger than the anxiety. I still had my rough times but what can I say? I suck at killing myself. I've had my heart stop more than a few times but only when I was in a lifeflight, ambulance, or hospital. Some were self inflicted and some were from the afore mentioned activities.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

I guess the main diffference between always happy and always unhappy people is the chemistry in their brain. So if you want to see the world through their eyes for one day, drugs could be the way to approach this aim. I am an expert on this topic because I belong to the happy people and I like to get drunk from time to time. The bad news is, unlike drugs endorphines have no negative side effects.

After a good life of 70 years my body starts to falls apart and I am happy enaugh to enjoy even the process of dying in a certain way. Why am I still alive? I am afraid to miss something good.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Nostalgia is a hell of a drug and the older you get the more fond memories and ideal experiences you can collect to look back on and feel good about. Sadly like any drug it can still be abused like when you start feeling nostalgic even for times you were clearly suffering or when nostalgia blinds one so hard it ruins the present and future for you. On paper this is one of the best parts about growing old though not everyone actually gets to collect such beautiful memories to cling to anyway.

 

[quins]

I can't imagine it, though it's less the fear of watching my body become a varicose-veined corpse than the perverse voyeurism of watching everyone around me die, the "normie" desire to not want to die alone is one I sympathise with dearly.

When I was younger I frequented brothels, a sort of routine self-laceration ritual which didn't ease the loneliness at all, but it occurred to me that most of these girls were probably older than I was, had children, and had masked their lost youthfulness with cosmetic surgery and designer appearances (this was South-East Asia), which left me extremely bitter, not because they were deceitful but because I couldn't wrestle the alienation that this brought me, the thought that they were all alone and still working but not particularly dissatisfied, or that dissatisfaction operated differently in poorer countries. Anyway, I'm not one to fantasize about youth or vulgarize it, it's just a "nail in the coffin" for me.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

don't know how "happy" people fantasize about growing old. i genuinely wish i could live in their mind for a day and see what's motivating them to keep going. some people have told me they want to be grandparents and stuff like that and that's cool and all but i just don't see the fucking point in even living this year.

i'm tired of hoping for a better future i don't think it's coming.. like to be realistic things will only get harder and unless i become a millionaire somehow (highly highly unlikely) i'll have to work my ass off everyday just to live in a rented apartment, never owning shit in this economy with the jobs i'm envisioning. like what if i can't find a good job by the time i'm 30, and there's nothing wrong with working a minimum wage job like you can still buy things and it can still sustain you, matter of fact i hope to god that i can get one right now… but i don't know, i don't know if i want to live life if i know what's ahead of me. i don't even want to be awake today i don't even want to live to next the next day.

it's just so lonely on this planet man like i know so many people are in the same situation and it helps to talk and share your thoughts, but after the conversation ends i'm back to being in agonizing pain.. i can't just have people talking to me 24/7 i know everyone has a life to live so i'm just wondering how i'm going to ever feel better as the years go on.

honestly i feel like i'm too broken and too fucked up to be "fixed" and honestly i don't even want to get better for the most part i wish i could just die silently without hurting those around me. i don't want to grow old feeling like this. the thought of feeling this multiple years later makes me want to end my life right now. i genuinely look forward to nothing in life anymore, videogames grow boring and meaningless. the only thing that's motivating me to be alive and get a job is actually to just do drugs cause it's the only thing that i've found enjoyment in unfortunately. i love the way it makes me feel and even better i love how it kills me slowly, it feels like the best of both worlds seriously.

idek man i'm going on a tangent but yeah…. what's the fucking point in growing old? i don't see one.

if things get better somehow that would be cool but if things don't turn around in the next 5 years i'm hoping i just drop dead like my best friend did from doing so many drugs. died so young and this is so fucked up to say but i almost envy them i want to die and be with her again. i wish she was still alive man it's so confusing i just want to be dead with them now that they're gone but yeahhhhh… bad night. i'm talking crazy

if you read this all the way through i really appreciate your time and i hope you have a nice day today :D

I guess I'm going to have the unpopular opinion on this thread, but I actually completely agree with you. While I understand why people would want to live if they are grandparents and some may look forward to it, I just don't see the point. I agree with the opinion that you work your whole life just to be able to retire when you're older and are supposed to enjoy life then as your body is failing. I feel like there is just a better chance than not of something going horribly wrong and you not be able to enjoy being older in anyway. My mom is currently fighting cancer and she is 76. I love my mom dearly. But the truth? She already had so many pre-existing health issues and a horrible quality of life that even if she is cured, she's just going to go back to that if not worse. Why should people that age have to fight so hard for a life that is probably just gonna continue to go downhill. It is so sad to me the amount of elderly people I see when we go for her treatment. I can't help it, I just think why?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I find it so horrific how a human can suffer for so long just to be tortured by old age, no matter what I'd prefer to not exist than suffer so unnecessarily, I'll just always see it as so futile to exist, I could just never see a point to any of this, I'll always see existing as just waiting to die, it's just suffering all for the sake of it.