Story What’s the dumbest thing you’ve stolen?

[the-eternal]

one golf ball

 

[Lorntroubles]

Judge me all you want. I judge myself too.

When I was a kid, another person's underwear got entangled in mine from the laundromat and I decided to keep it and wear it because they had better looking underwear than me.

 

[Blue LIPS]

I stole a toy turtle when was six years old from a classmate. He seemed so happy to have that and I was jealous.

Stole many things in my childhood, I didn't like the way other children smiled and had the best parents and toys. I wanted to be happy like them, and even stealing, I never got a little of that. This is not dumb, it is pathetic. It's pathetic how I've always been selfish and I don't deny that.

Sorry.

It's not pathetic, it's relatable. You see people who are given the world and able to want to explore every avenue of life... we don't. We are usually a product of someone else's selfishness.

Sorry if my "we" is presumptuous.

 

[Viro_Major]

Hearts unwillingly. Kidding, I blame it on nymphomaniacs

Rarely happened. Stink balls, as a kid.
Hum, money once or twice, as an adult, not from strangers. No pride but do I regret it ? It was to get out of trouble, nah. Unconverted, it has no value. Plus the system is all about robbery anyway, either it's perverted officially or in disguise. I appreciate transparency so I prefer when protagonists understand and accept they steal from each other. Somehow, I'm less disturbed to enrol into a financial transaction where the other party is announcing out loud an intent to stab on the back, than to negotiate at the local market against a potential brother cause I dislike undercover exploitation.

 

[Leech]

Googly eyes

They're dumb expensive

 

[lostangel]

When I was 4 I put a pokemon character in my swimming shorts and walked with my father to the dressing room. We were leaving and I wanted it so I took it. He didn't know.

 

[Blue LIPS]

When I was 4 I put a pokemon character in my swimming shorts and walked with my father to the dressing room. We were leaving and I wanted it so I took it. He didn't know.

That reminds me of this kid that stole some of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards lol I was ready to beat his ass. It was like the Blue Eyes Dragon and the dude you put together in pieces (arms, legs, body etc). Same kid let his pit bull out which killed a cat, he was euthanized and hated everyone until he moved lol.

 

[Isadeth]

I didn't steal it, but I thought I did... and it was pretty dumb. KFC had a promotion I wasn't aware of where everyone gets a cake with their meal... dumb me tried to hide it because I thought I was given it by mistake... I really thought I got a free cake and stole it. I'm sure I looked ridiculous trying to hide this cake. It wasn't until weeks later I seen the commercial Haha

 

[Deleted member 1465]

A kitchen. Bit I was a drunk student so it doesn't count.

 

[noaccount]

What is that?

 

[Isadeth]

A kitchen. Bit I was a drunk student so it doesn't count.

A whole kitchen?! Lol how did you manage that? A display? Someone's actual kitchen? Haha

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I stole 2 chilli peppers from the supermarket. I was only cooking for myself and didn't want to buy a whole packet of them so I just grabbed 2 loose chilli peppers and hid them amongst my other groceries.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

A whole kitchen?! Lol how did you manage that? A display? Someone's actual kitchen? Haha

We were very, very careful and very very drunk. In a university town, people leave shit outside their homes for drunk students to steal. So we did.
The fridge became 'The Debating Fridge' and accounted for many drunken nights standing over it in my flatmates room where it occupied the centre of the room, setting the world to rights.
Stealing is wrong but it's broadly acceptable in a UK university town if you are a pissed student because it saves the council having to collect knackered appliances.

 

[XYZ]

Chewing gum when I was... errrm... probably 10.
Edit
Question: is ot ok to like comments in this thread? Or will it be construed as actively condoning crime?

 

[Blue LIPS]

Chewing gum when I was... errrm... probably 10.
Edit
Question: is ot ok to like comments in this thread? Or will it be construed as actively condoning crime?

Lol we'll switch to using SWIM... (Someone Who Isn't Me)

 

[XYZ]

Lol we'll switch to using SWIM... (Someone Who Isn't Me)

Ok. A friend of mine stole some chewing gum when they were 10.

 

[Life_and_Death]

pixie stix from the dollor store. apparently my friend and i decided we didnt have a few bucks and my bf at the time just rolled his eyes at me and walked away. lol he didnt want anything to do with pixie stix, wouldnt even share them. thats fine more sugar for me XD

 

[noaccount]

Awww I always thought it stood for Someone Who I Met

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

foreign currency a single note, can't remember what country and what it said on it, but it was on a desk of this rather dodgy person so I took it, it was something like 5000 or something took it to get exchanged and they said it was worth 10p

 

[Blue LIPS]

Awww I always thought it stood for Someone Who I Met

I see you were lurking the bluelight forums as well lol had to be safe doing drugs! :P hahaha

 

[heraclitus]

Cold tap from the staff toilets at a London Underground station. I was a student, drunk and trying to impress a girl.

 

[Blue LIPS]

Cold tap from the staff toilets at a London Underground station. I was a student, drunk and trying to impress a girl.

Lol should've taken the whole thing... definitely would've scored

 

[AvaAdore]

Paper fasteners because there was a really long line at Office Depot. I didn't have anytime to wait because I was scheduled to appear in court and needed the fasteners for one of the documents that I needed.

 

[fluffysuicidalbear]

Probably stealing some journal books from my primary schools supply cupboard. I took like 2 then got caught.

 

[Funkymonks]

We stole one of those large plastic ice cream cones that sit outside shops.
We were day drinking and brought it round all the bars, I'm not sure where it ended up!

 

[Tabbyql]

Im really hoping noone will hate me for this but i stole a guinea pig, I was only like 10. We felt really sorry for the poor guy stuck outside in the cold all day everyday in his hutch. We planned to keep him and give him a better life. A few hours later we got scared and felt bad, so we put him back.

 

[Garbage Person]

I got arrested twice for retail theft in my youth. Not too bad for the hundreds of times that I got away clean. One arrest though, fuck me, it was for stealing 36 candy bars from a gas station. I was drunk and totally gone on xanax. I don't really remember much, except the number of bars and that a bunch of police just kept pulling them out of all of my pockets and pants, spilling out like a bad clown trick or something.

 

[boredtodeath]

jeez i've stolen lots of stuff lol. one time I stole honeycomb out of spite because the store had it up for $30... very expensive for its small quantity. another time i stole a nike waterbottle. imagine a small plastic bottle, nothing special. $60! so i stole that out of spite too. i think i'm the reason that store installed cameras... lol

 

[grungeCat]

When I was in middle school I stole jock's exercise book. You know why I did it? We used to have a lot of homework there that day and I knew he copied it all during a break, additionally from someone he constantly bullied. So I thought it would be really sad if he couldn't find his stolen homework and get the worst mark. It was very pleasant to watch him submerging himself in anger and hopelessness as he was struggling to hand out his homework. I've never returned it.