Discussion What's the difference between those who manage to CTB and who do not?

[Cryptonite]

Hi,

I'm wondering, what's the difference between the people who are successful in CTBing themselves compared to those who are not? What do successful people do differently? What makes them overcome the last moment SI?

 

[lwlaiet8887]

You have to understand that the human psyche is very different, some people are a lot more "intense" shall we say than others. You ever hear those cases of someone who breaks up with their spouse and then decides to jump infront of a train for example? Some people find it easier to act impulsive and are often so distraught that the existentialism of death doesn't haunt them. There's also the matter of trauma/suffering, sadly some people feel so rock bottom that death is the better alternative for them and I think it's the biggest reason why people commit CTB, they truly want to end their suffering. Then you have people like me who are bipolar (almost), one day I find life tolerable the next I want to CTB immediately. Sometimes people like us end up doing it because we've had enough. The human Psyche is very flexible although easy to categories' at least in my eyes.

 

[avaruus]

I'd say the ability to do things without thinking, the ability to turn off the brain and just do the task.
For some people that's easier. On the other hand, some are constantly thinking about what the consequences are going to be if they fail and the fear of whats going to happen in afterlife etc.

CTB is actually very easy, a knife slides through your neck muscles to your carotid arteries like through a butter.
Jumping is obviously very easy thing to do, it's just about committing to the act and doing it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that those who succeeded were fortunate enough to have access to a method that they felt confident in and they got determined enough to overcome the survival instinct. I envy those people as suicide really is way too unnecessarily difficult, I admire those who manage to permanently escape from all the suffering existing brings on their own terms.

 

[SVEN]

Desperation and committment.

 

[sserafim]

I guess there's a certain amount of luck and fate to be able to ctb successfully. Some people are unfortunate enough to survive falls off of a bridge that were supposed to be fatal (and are left with permanent damage). I really think it depends on you, your method, and how the universe was feeling that day

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

I've overcome my SI countless times. Lethality of method has been my limiting factor. I've drank a bottle of an agricultural chemical before but only ended up in the hospital. If I had SN instead I would have been gone over a decade ago.

 

[Minsu]

Degree of desperation

 

[Cryptonite]

I've overcome my SI countless times. Lethality of method has been my limiting factor. I've drank a bottle of an agricultural chemical before but only ended up in the hospital. If I had SN instead I would have been gone over a decade ago.

You are very brave. How are you able to do that? Could you share?

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

Hi,

I'm wondering, what's the difference between the people who are successful in CTBing themselves compared to those who are not? What do successful people do differently? What makes them overcome the last moment SI?

I think that suicide is only a matter of motivation and cuorage.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

Hi,

I'm wondering, what's the difference between the people who are successful in CTBing themselves compared to those who are not? What do successful people do differently? What makes them overcome the last moment SI?

I believe that anyone can succeed with suicide. It is only a matter of motivation and luck. On the 11 September 2001, people jumped out of the Word Trade Center in New York City after two planes hit the twin towers. But we should all have the right to euthanasia.

Hi,

I'm wondering, what's the difference between the people who are successful in CTBing themselves compared to those who are not? What do successful people do differently? What makes them overcome the last moment SI?

 

[undecided]

I believe that anyone can succeed with suicide. It is only a matter of motivation and luck. On the 11 September 2001, people jumped out of the Word Trade Center in New York City after two planes hit the twin towers. But we should all have the right to euthanasia.

That wasn't suicide, that was fear, total fear ! How you can even compare suicide to the absolute fear of the people who jumped to their deaths that day, is totally fucked up ! Have a serious word with yourself !!

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I believe that anyone can succeed with suicide. It is only a matter of motivation and luck. On the 11 September 2001, people jumped out of the Word Trade Center in New York City after two planes hit the twin towers. But we should all have the right to euthanasia.

It's a lot easier when certain incineration is the only other option.

The OP's question Is the core question of suicidology. No clear answers have ever been reached.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

That wasn't suicide, that was fear, total fear ! How you can even compare suicide to the absolute fear of the people who jumped to their deaths that day, is totally fucked up ! Have a serious word with yourself !!

Why are you alive when you are so good at this?

 

[sserafim]

I believe that anyone can succeed with suicide. It is only a matter of motivation and luck. On the 11 September 2001, people jumped out of the Word Trade Center in New York City after two planes hit the twin towers. But we should all have the right to euthanasia.

Yeah, people always overlook the luck involved for it to succeed.

 

[undecided]

Why are you alive when you are so good at this?

So good at what? Calling someone out when they talk total Bullshit?

 

[ddn.ctb]

Sometimes it's the method you choose. The longer the setup, the more likely SI takes over.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

You are very brave. How are you able to do that? Could you share?

Short answer? I actually want to die.


Longer answer.

I mean I actually want to die. I don't mean I wish my life was different. I don't mean I wish I wasn't suffering. I do not want to "get better". I do not want to be less lonely. I do not want my parent's approval. I want my story to be over.

I think there are a lot of people who think they want to die but in reality if some variable in their life was different it would change everything. I think these people, whether they know it or not, are hoping for something. There is some possibility they're clinging to that makes it hard to let go.

It's harder to commit when you've left your life in tact and you can return to it if you change your mind. If you burn the bridge behind you, delete your contacts, empty your camera roll, delete your email accounts, if you purge your entire life before you attempt then it's a lot harder to turn back.

I think there are also a lot of people who feel suicidal and yield to it immediately. Meaning that they accept the way they feel as part of who they are as much as they accept their other emotions. We're emotional creatures, it's hard not to be lorded by them. But if you accept it without deeply questioning why you feel that way you're going to have unanswered questions about life. I didn't simply give up on life, I tried, earnestly. I found a lot of answers, so I don't feel as though I'm leaving prematurely.

Speaking of leaving prematurely; the last reason. Unfinished business. I don't have any. You know that saying, live every day like it could be your last? I've been living that way for quite a number of years. It's not about being reckless, it's about being unburdened. I've said everything I wanted to say to everyone I wanted to say it to. I have no debts to pay, no apologies to make.

All of these things make it easier to let go. I wrote a long post called Doubting as to why I think a lot of people struggle with SI outside of the most obvious but it's 1000 words long. It's adjacent to this but they're not the same. I'm not brave. I'm not afraid either. I'm just ready.

 

[Forever Sleep]

That wasn't suicide, that was fear, total fear ! How you can even compare suicide to the absolute fear of the people who jumped to their deaths that day, is totally fucked up ! Have a serious word with yourself !!

I agree- that was an absolutely horrific circumstance to be in and I suspect many of those poor people didn't want to die to begin with. That said- as an abstract example- there are parallels with suicide as explained in this quote:

'The so-called 'psychotically depressed' person who tries to kill herself doesn't do so out of quote 'hopelessness' or any abstract conviction that life's assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall; it's terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling 'Don't!' and 'Hang on!', can understand the jump. Not really. You'd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.'​

David Foster Wallace​

I think- in certain circumstances, someone's life can feel as bad as being in a burning building. People have managed to kill themselves in jail, in secure hospitals, in court rooms- sometimes with next to nothing available to do it. One reason I imagine some people are successful is because their lives are SO intolerable. They simply make sure they succeed. So- living becomes more frightening than dying.

For the rest of us, I don't know really. Ability to overcome fear in the moment and luck I suppose.

 

[cosifantutti]

I think some people have a 'romantic' view of suicide. They think about the music they would play, they imagine their funeral, they plan out their note, they fantasise about the effect on those left behind.

In my 20s that's how I related to suicide. When I was 41 I tried to drown myself. Although I'd been considering it I made a decision that morning. I felt no fear. I just 'got on with it'. I walked up to the reservoir and got on with the business of drowning. Because of total ignorance on my part I survived.

Most people who ctb don't go on forums such as these. It wouldn't occur to them. They find themselves in a place in their head that is so horrendous that they must go now. They don't have time to wait for SN to come in the post. They are not well enough to set up a camera and video themselves. They can't wait until they've had a birthday, Christmas is by, they complete something etc.

I'm not suggesting that those who are willing to wait aren't serious, aren't suffering. They very much are.

But I think that's the difference between those who succeed and those who don't.

 

[Cryptonite]

I'd say the ability to do things without thinking, the ability to turn off the brain and just do the task.
For some people that's easier. On the other hand, some are constantly thinking about what the consequences are going to be if they fail and the fear of whats going to happen in afterlife etc.

CTB is actually very easy, a knife slides through your neck muscles to your carotid arteries like through a butter.
Jumping is obviously very easy thing to do, it's just about committing to the act and doing it.

You are spot on with the ability to do things without thinking. Clearing your mind and just letting your body take care of it. I've read a story here on SS from a guy who jumped from 25m (which is obviously a very serious CTB attempt). He described how he felt like an "emotionless robot" when doing the deed. I wonder if there is some way how to induce this state.

Desperation and committment.

I already have the massive committment. I have done so much research over a long period of time. But I guess the desperation is where the problem lies. I am very very desperate, but I guess you need to be ungodly desperate.

Degree of desperation

I guess the level of desperation must be ungodly.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

1. Having one method and plan that is reliable that u have very good confidence will work.

2. Mindset shift. The mind is everything what u think u become

Thích Quảng Đức - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Human A-1 believes life is good sacred beautiful.
Human b-2 believes life and everything in it is bad and death / non-existence is good .
All other things being equal Who is more likely to be able to ctb?

 

[Cryptonite]

Short answer? I actually want to die.


Longer answer.

I mean I actually want to die. I don't mean I wish my life was different. I don't mean I wish I wasn't suffering. I do not want to "get better". I do not want to be less lonely. I do not want my parent's approval. I want my story to be over.

I think there are a lot of people who think they want to die but in reality if some variable in their life was different it would change everything. I think these people, whether they know it or not, are hoping for something. There is some possibility they're clinging to that makes it hard to let go.

It's harder to commit when you've left your life in tact and you can return to it if you change your mind. If you burn the bridge behind you, delete your contacts, empty your camera roll, delete your email accounts, if you purge your entire life before you attempt then it's a lot harder to turn back.

I think there are also a lot of people who feel suicidal and yield to it immediately. Meaning that they accept the way they feel as part of who they are as much as they accept their other emotions. We're emotional creatures, it's hard not to be lorded by them. But if you accept it without deeply questioning why you feel that way you're going to have unanswered questions about life. I didn't simply give up on life, I tried, earnestly. I found a lot of answers, so I don't feel as though I'm leaving prematurely.

Speaking of leaving prematurely; the last reason. Unfinished business. I don't have any. You know that saying, live every day like it could be your last? I've been living that way for quite a number of years. It's not about being reckless, it's about being unburdened. I've said everything I wanted to say to everyone I wanted to say it to. I have no debts to pay, no apologies to make.

All of these things make it easier to let go. I wrote a long post called Doubting as to why I think a lot of people struggle with SI outside of the most obvious but it's 1000 words long. It's adjacent to this but they're not the same. I'm not brave. I'm not afraid either. I'm just ready.

I think you've exactly described what is the mindset that really leads to CTB. It's basically becoming "an emotionless robot" who truly does not care about anything (not even SI) other than CTB. You are also spot on with the hope. That's what holds me back, I think. My situation is objectively irrecoverable, however, I still keep having unrealistic daydreams of being physically and mentally healthy. I also still care about so many irrelevant things, like being seen as a loser, or grieving the loss of my girlfriend. Just like you said, successful suicidal people care about none of these, they are laser-focused on the goal.

Burning all bridges feels like a great idea, however, I'm so worried: what if I'm never able to do it and then I will be left with nothing and nobody? I've already burned some bridges, like the one with my girlfriend, and it brought about a massive suffering.

I'll definitely read your post "Doubting", you are very knowledgeable.

I think some people have a 'romantic' view of suicide. They think about the music they would play, they imagine their funeral, they plan out their note, they fantasise about the effect on those left behind.

In my 20s that's how I related to suicide. When I was 41 I tried to drown myself. Although I'd been considering it I made a decision that morning. I felt no fear. I just 'got on with it'. I walked up to the reservoir and got on with the business of drowning. Because of total ignorance on my part I survived.

Most people who ctb don't go on forums such as these. It wouldn't occur to them. They find themselves in a place in their head that is so horrendous that they must go now. They don't have time to wait for SN to come in the post. They are not well enough to set up a camera and video themselves. They can't wait until they've had a birthday, Christmas is by, they complete something etc.

I'm not suggesting that those who are willing to wait aren't serious, aren't suffering. They very much are.

But I think that's the difference between those who succeed and those who don't.

I've read many stories who seemed so similar. Long-term planning of suicide followed by sudden emotionless state, where a person becomes laser-focused on the goal. I really hope I can get to this state.

 

[KillMeh]

Right time, right method? Idk what type of desparation I would have to suffer to bring me to self-immolate. I hate blood and partial gives me too much control. SN though , I could probably jump if I could find a spot, swb doesn't sound bad either.
As for headspace, I figure feeling tired of failing in life and like nothing else could help.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

I think you've exactly described what is the mindset that really leads to CTB. It's basically becoming "an emotionless robot" who truly does not care about anything (not even SI) other than CTB. You are also spot on with the hope. That's what holds me back, I think. My situation is objectively irrecoverable, however, I still keep having unrealistic daydreams of being physically and mentally healthy. I also still care about so many irrelevant things, like being seen as a loser, or grieving the loss of my girlfriend. Just like you said, successful suicidal people care about none of these, they are laser-focused on the goal.

Burning all bridges feels like a great idea, however, I'm so worried: what if I'm never able to do it and then I will be left with nothing and nobody? I've already burned some bridges, like the one with my girlfriend, and it brought about a massive suffering.

I'll definitely read your post "Doubting", you are very knowledgeable.

I've read many stories who seemed so similar. Long-term planning of suicide followed by sudden emotionless state, where a person becomes laser-focused on the goal. I really hope I can get to this state.

In less words, "Javert's Suicide" from Les Mis shows a good example.

 

[Bacon and Baseball]

You are spot on with the ability to do things without thinking. Clearing your mind and just letting your body take care of it. I've read a story here on SS from a guy who jumped from 25m (which is obviously a very serious CTB attempt). He described how he felt like an "emotionless robot" when doing the deed. I wonder if there is some way how to induce this state.

I already have the massive committment. I have done so much research over a long period of time. But I guess the desperation is where the problem lies. I am very very desperate, but I guess you need to be ungodly desperate.

I guess the level of desperation must be ungodly.

it always seems easier to just try to go to sleep and make it to another day than actually do it at that moment

 

[Cryptonite]

it always seems easier to just try to go to sleep and make it to another day than actually do it at that moment

That's what I am experiencing currently... how to break out of the loop?

 

[Bacon and Baseball]

That's what I am experiencing currently... how to break out of the loop?

I really don't want to break it, because things would have to get worse for that to happen. I don't know man, tough call. they're actively forcing everyone to stay here. It's bad enough that they don't give people the medical option to make such choices. just taking huge choices out of our hands, like everything else they won't let us do. But now they're going to take away all the other possible easy ways. It's just ridiculous

 

[Cryptonite]

Is it possible to consciously dissociate yourself from the fear of death? Or does it completely depend on the actual level of desperation?

 

[undecided]

I agree- that was an absolutely horrific circumstance to be in and I suspect many of those poor people didn't want to die to begin with. That said- as an abstract example- there are parallels with suicide as explained in this quote:

David Foster Wallace​

I think- in certain circumstances, someone's life can feel as bad as being in a burning building. People have managed to kill themselves in jail, in secure hospitals, in court rooms- sometimes with next to nothing available to do it. One reason I imagine some people are successful is because their lives are SO intolerable. They simply make sure they succeed. So- living becomes more frightening than dying.

For the rest of us, I don't know really. Ability to overcome fear in the moment and luck I suppose.

They jumped to their deaths because the knew they were going to burn to death! None of them chose to ctb that day, they chose the quickest and least traumatic/painful option because they had no other choice.