You have been on this forum for 4.5 years and you want to buy SN on Amazon??
You sure don't know much.
Something doesn't add up, red flags
i was originally going to hang myself but i get too scared every time and back out. i want to try SN especially since i think it would be a little more difficult to back out because of need to call 911 or throw up, i'm unlikely to force myself to throw up, and i could never get over the anxiety of calling 911 saying i'm trying to kill myself and then also attain medical debt. especially after how awful they were to me last time i was in the psych ward. i just want to die i want to die so bad i've never wanted to be alive i hate it here i hate the world i don't understand why it has to be like this for me, i don't understand how i could get abused so bad as a child i don't know why no one ever cared, i was so nice to my parents when i was little and they treated me so poorly every time my dad has talked to me i could feel the pure hatred he had for me, he hated me so much, just because i was so different. i don't understand why my mom didn't care she knew how bad it was for me, she even got her degree in human development, and she would a knowledgeable i was being abused and she didn't care, she even made it worse, she only cared about her marriage and how she looked as a mom. i don't understand why i'm the subject of such hatred and malice, i don't know why no one ever cared for me, i don't understand how the world can be so dark and evil. it still affects me so deeply i don't even think i can move forward i'm so useless. i put everything i have into being kind and helping others and i'm still subjected to so much evil. i hate this world i hate it so much but for some reason i get so so scared every time i try to hang myself and everything gets dizzy and fuzzy. i don't understand how it's so hard for me to even die, i'm just trapped here, in this evil evil place. i don't get it. i don't get it. i don't get it. i hate life so much. i'll figure out how to get sn on my own, i don't care if you think i'm a red flag.
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