whats the atmosphere outside like for you?

[pilotviolin]

i don't know if its just because i don't have a social life, or it's my mood, but i've been thinking a bit, and everything feels so dull and miserable, even when i myself am not, i talk to people and they feel hopeless and the general air is sad. do you guys feel similar that the vibe around you is miserable? is your surroundings different? there are few people i know (maybe i just don't know many people) i can list, if at all, that are actually doing well and have most of their physical, social and mental needs met. i know there's ALOT of things going wrong in the world, i don't mean to pin this as something that came in at random, it's just hard to find any reprieve from it, where do we go to escape or build that isn't so solitary or niche?

the lonliness is upsetting me alot, im considering church bc some are nice and people talk to you and you can sit and pray but i cant be myself there and i feel so trapped because i dont know if its even safe to go club or something alone and its expensive and everythig costs money or is far away or the whole event is just BUY RANDOM SHIT or classes or something. i wish there was a subculturew here like more than what we have im not an eshay not saying theyre all bad or something im just not an eshay i dont know where to go and i work alone and if im not my coworkers usually dislike me because im slow or im just different to them idk some people just get aggravated by being around me its weird. have you guys found somewhere to go irl? anything exciting? chill? where you can be yourself? my neighbours are nice but i dont think theyll want me interacting with their wider circle.