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whats on your mind if not ctb and current problems?
Thread starter333s
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ive been thinking about how to make butter and marshmallows from scratch honestly haha, i find that kind of thing really interesting! along the lines of post apocalyptic recovery in my head, what would i do... i feel like once id established a base id want sweets and buttered bread so thats what i'm thinking about! daydreaming about these impossible potentials and my plans for them really entertains me
ive been thinking about how to make butter and marshmallows from scratch honestly haha, i find that kind of thing really interesting! along the lines of post apocalyptic recovery in my head, what would i do... i feel like once id established a base id want sweets and buttered bread so thats what i'm thinking about! daydreaming about these impossible potentials and my plans for them really entertains me
about the same. food related stuff.
then anime, or what to watch or read or what songs to listen to.
im at that point of being bored despite the options of distraction though (soc med, stuff on the net, etc)
People think about petty things, you know what I mean? I just think about the economy, business, world affairs. Usually mathematics and philosophy. I would think a lot about graph theory, mathematics, logic especially. Regulatory networks in cells, the colonization of space, evolution (mostly about how evolution has shaped current life forms and their operating systems, especially at the cellular level. But I also think about the probable evolution of humanity from this point forward), and, on a more local level, enjoying life, staying in good health. When I was younger I studied Egyptology.
Hoping my past (friends in the past) are living their best lives. I sometimes think that maybe I'm suffering to make their lives better with magical karma bs, but that's just my copium speaking. Imagining how things would have gone if I had been raised by normal, sane people. Also pretending I'm not in whatever room I'm currently in just to listen and see the silence there, imaging how it's going to eventually be without me. Probably better, yeah.
Books I read and music I listen to. I read a lot about random subjects to keep myself occupied. Recently, I've been reading books about the history of American weddings, emo music, and statistics.
Oof, my inability to focus—I can't zone into any of the things I once enjoyed. It's been a problem for months now,(I'd say a year really haha) but in my current situation it's severe issue. I can't retain or do much, and as a result… it's just all I think about. It's like I'm a total zombie. ;/ I wish I could read a good book or draw, anything. Play games like I used to. etc. Oh to be Distracted
I have a shit job selling bongs and shit part time. Tonight a girl came in and I helped her pick out a custom set with a giant microscope shaped bong, ash catcher, and a custom bowl for like.... $300. More than I make every two weeks. She bought it for herself for her birthday. She mentioned being a Pisces and asked me what I was, and I replied a Taurus. She said she figured because I have "such great energy". I smiled and just thought, it's weird being told that when I'm never happy. Less than two hours later, I'm still back on here and staring at my belt, wishing I had somewhere sturdy to hang myself. It's weird and I don't know why it bothers me. "Great energy". I'm just a ghost. An NPC at a head shop. I don't have any energy. I'm just trying to get home to flip a coin and see if I get the heads up of "just figure out how to die" or tails of "smoke weed and fall asleep next to someone who hates me for existing". It's like a cruel joke to me.
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