
bbye111
absurdism
- Dec 26, 2022
- 63
holding on to solo night walks and cigarettes before ctb.
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haha yea, a daily dose of nicotine is a mustAlcohol and various other substances... Cigarettes included of course, gotta have my nicotine.
This.Thought that i can die anytimw and can be free from this pain
Same here bro. Only diff is I'm not putting any effort into job apps. Already know it's a waste of time. Rn the opportunity to travel and party before CTB is the only thing keeping me sane igI thought my savings would run out in March and that would be the catalyst for ctb, but I forgot about a small amount of money in my retirement account.
I've never contributed to it because I don't expect to be around for retirement age, but my old employer would make contributions sometimes.
Combined with my other accounts, I can maybe last through July or August, but thinking about being around for all those months = instant tears.
I keep filling out job applications and doing interviews, but I never get hired.
I have to participate in that process so that when I ctb, it's fuel to overcome SI.
I need to be able to know that I've tried everything.
Anyway, I wouldn't say I'm sane lol, but I have a bit of breathing room for now.