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bbye111

bbye111

absurdism
Dec 26, 2022
63
holding on to solo night walks and cigarettes before ctb.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,153
I'm not entirely sure I am sane! Still- if I'm not, then I've been like this the majority of my life. I guess I have the potential to get worse though.

I think either running out of money or going back into a wage slave job will be enough to push me over the edge into a much deeper depression.
 
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A

anamikaa94

Member
Nov 20, 2022
6
Thought that i can die anytimw and can be free from this pain
 
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MentalStefan

MentalStefan

Loser
Jul 3, 2022
264
Morphine, antidepressants, burgers and computing. Paradoxically my 'healthy obsession' with computers and programming is keeping me sane.
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
Alcohol and various other substances... Cigarettes included of course, gotta have my nicotine.
 
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bbye111

bbye111

absurdism
Dec 26, 2022
63
Alcohol and various other substances... Cigarettes included of course, gotta have my nicotine.
haha yea, a daily dose of nicotine is a must
 
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D

don't want it

Member
Dec 14, 2022
99
nothing
 
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Shu

Shu

As above, So Below.
Jan 21, 2022
2,487
Weed but I just ran out.
 
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my_sundown

my_sundown

My Sundown.
Jan 17, 2023
66
Routine: work, dinner sleep, more sleep, and medicine.

* failed attempts at dry January.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,370
There could never be anything that brings me any kind of comfort or relief apart from the thought of being permanently gone from this world, but even then death still feels like a distance away and as a result of that I feel so incredibly trapped here in this hellish world.

The reality is that if someone doesn't choose to leave then they basically have no choice but to continue existing, and to exist is a choice that I've never wanted to make and never could do. But sadly I'm still here until the day in which I can finally return to nothingness where by that point this existence will be long forgotten about, it won't even be a distant memory and to me that is perfection.
 
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S

SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
I thought my savings would run out in March and that would be the catalyst for ctb, but I forgot about a small amount of money in my retirement account.

I've never contributed to it because I don't expect to be around for retirement age, but my old employer would make contributions sometimes.

Combined with my other accounts, I can maybe last through July or August, but thinking about being around for all those months = instant tears.

I keep filling out job applications and doing interviews, but I never get hired.

I have to participate in that process so that when I ctb, it's fuel to overcome SI.

I need to be able to know that I've tried everything.

Anyway, I wouldn't say I'm sane lol, but I have a bit of breathing room for now.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Hiding from the world
 
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lotus11

lotus11

Specialist
May 18, 2019
345
extremely little
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,853
Nothing much
 
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MidnightCat

MidnightCat

Still 3 more lives to go.
Jan 1, 2023
313
Thought that i can die anytimw and can be free from this pain
This.

Cannot describe it better, althought I'm not really sure I'm sane.
 
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W

Wannagonow

Specialist
Nov 16, 2022
376
My Dog
 
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T

throwawayyy

Member
Jun 21, 2022
49
I thought my savings would run out in March and that would be the catalyst for ctb, but I forgot about a small amount of money in my retirement account.

I've never contributed to it because I don't expect to be around for retirement age, but my old employer would make contributions sometimes.

Combined with my other accounts, I can maybe last through July or August, but thinking about being around for all those months = instant tears.

I keep filling out job applications and doing interviews, but I never get hired.

I have to participate in that process so that when I ctb, it's fuel to overcome SI.

I need to be able to know that I've tried everything.

Anyway, I wouldn't say I'm sane lol, but I have a bit of breathing room for now.
Same here bro. Only diff is I'm not putting any effort into job apps. Already know it's a waste of time. Rn the opportunity to travel and party before CTB is the only thing keeping me sane ig
 
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S

Sourdough

I seek peace above all else. I hope to find it
Sep 3, 2022
82
Nothing. I don't have any solace. I stare at mindless posts that bring me no joy or resonance until I can sleep again and escape for another 9 hours.
 
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WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,431
Nothing. I need out.
 
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Reactions: leaf23, Ultracheese, Csmith8827 and 4 others
R

randy

Student
Jan 6, 2023
155
delicious coffee every morning is my one and only joy in life currently
 
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A

Aya&Dazy

Member
Nov 11, 2022
63
I don't drink, smoke, drugs or party. I have no idea how I come this far. lol
As long as I don't have to go outside so often then I'm fine.
 
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Krieger

Krieger

yeah
Apr 16, 2022
120
THC and the desire to travel the world mainly.
 
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vultureilse

vultureilse

ready to go, just waiting for the right time!
Dec 31, 2022
144
wouldnt say im exactly sane rn tbh. mainly sleeping as much as possible, alcohol and trying to distract myself as much as i can with music and youtube videos. these usually kinda work but recently i havent been able to escape my thoughts much
 
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Forest Fire

Forest Fire

Student
Jul 19, 2019
119
Interacting with others as little as possible
Gym when i'm physically healthy, which is rare these days.
Cannabis and song writing/youtube when i'm injured or not sleeping
 
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corpsive

corpsive

Not yet dead. Still, we rot.
Jan 10, 2023
17
Honestly? The third game of a series I really like is coming out on the 26th or something of next month. I'm in a really tough spot where there is absolutely nothing that I've been able to do to relieve my constant distraught that's been choking me for the past couple of months- even to where I'm still looking forward to figuring out where to buy SN regardless- but man.. kind of excited for that game honestly. I'll live until then. Maybe.
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,210
Pills
Pychologist
 
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W

wombhockey

New Member
Mar 6, 2022
4
Hope and fear
 
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J

jay308

Member
Jan 16, 2023
58
SS , Youtube , Netflix , Food
 
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Oogie

Oogie

always
Jun 30, 2022
18
my boyfriend is next to me. gives me reason. i feel like people would invalidate me for having suicidal feelings right now, because i have a partner. i'm lucky to know he loves me. perhaps my feelings are 'irrational' - i find the times where i'm the most suicidal are irrational, and that i'm more a danger to myself when i randomly have an urge and an intent to attempt than when it is planned. in fact, i've always hesitated when it's planned.
 
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Ilayis

Ilayis

SuicidalManPup
Sep 4, 2022
36
Masturbating to forget about my miserable life for 10-15 minutes.
 
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Reactions: Bardo, leaf23, Huntfish34 and 2 others

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