What's keeping you here

[trigzter]

I always find something to delay the inevitable. Oh look football and hockey start soon...and i dont own a gun

 

[throwaway123]

scared of failure and then ending up in a psychiatry

 

[Kikoo Loool]

SI and my SS friend.

 

[Lady black]

Seems my partner for the last way left me, so I´m still here

 

[Numbtopain97]

false hope for a better future and my SI

 

[Baskol1]

Simple, hope for a better future, even if it may be false hope, and of course my dog. But suicide may be an option in the future, if my life would be getting worse and unbearable, which is not the case in the moment. My life is bad, but not unbearable.

 

[Shamana]

My family and fear of the afterlife. Also logically thinking about my corpse rotting in a grave or being cremated scares me. It's a shit situation when you don't want to live and don't want to die.

 

[Intelligent_Lobster]

once I figure it out, I'll be ready to go.

 

[Baskol1]

The Methods arent that hard, whats hard is overcoming your natural survival instinct.

 

[calendulo]

The meto, that is what I am keeping here.

 

[reveriewong]

Faith, constant striving to be a better person, and to make a difference in someone's life.

 

[Asta]

Staying here for the one person in the world who really cares.

 

[Deltrus]

I promised my mom I wouldn't suicide until she died. She was still sad for a day because I wanted to suicide eventually, probably for religious reasons.

She probably wants to meet me in some sort of heaven. I don't even want to go to some sort of stereotypical christian heaven, I got my own version of spirituality, my heaven is to evolve and self improve on an infinite journey to perfection. To make the ultimate language and write the ultimate story with it, to understand understanding itself/everything else, to engineer the ultimate experience. And perhaps stumble upon even greater things than that? My human life is only here to use as inspiration.

So I don't ever want to see my mom again, after a fairwell. She doesn't have the same aspirations to become something greater. And she is so determined to keep me alive even though I am suffering so much. That is another reason I don't resonate with her.

I still don't want to see my family suffer, my mom would become incredibly depressed if I died, making it miserable for my dad and brother. My brother especially doesn't deserve that, he is working so hard to get through university and work internships, I have a feel that if I died it would be the straw that broke the camel's back.

If suicide was legal I think I would do it. That way I could say my farewells and try to make it a happy thing. I am super excited for death, I really think there is an afterlife with less suffering than I'm living with. In fact, I think my heaven is real.

But really perhaps the universe will surprise me, maybe it knows of a better future for me, itself and everyone. I don't know.

 

[ImmaMacGuffin]

As mentioned by peeps above thread, my dog keeps me here. He is blind, diabetic, and has congestive heart failure. I would not trust anyone to care for him as I do.

 

[TheFinalCountdown]

My dog and the illusion of hope

 

[StupidLizard]

I am responsible for 35+ exotic animals, potentially dangerous ones.

Family, somewhat. Oh, and fear... of course. ;)

 

[Futility]

I am here because of fear of failure, I'm horrified of not doing things right and getting forced to live under a watchful eye with possible damage that would prevent me from trying again.

.. I also feel incredibly loyal to my dog, she's my best friend and I have a hard time with abandoning her. I know my boyfriend and neighbor treat her really nice, but she's bonded with me more than they are.
When my parent died, I saw the look on the dog's face when they put her in the hearse, I did not like that reaction, dogs understand death it seems like.

 

[mathieu]

Lack of access to short acting barbiturates.

 

[Emily123]

Fear . I want to die peacfully . I don't want to select painful methods

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

My children and my fears of the unknown....

 

[Robbyna]

I'm afraid of failing. I have some failed attempts and it seems like no matter what I try I'm not going to die until it's my time...or maybe I'm just not strong enough to have done it right. I wish I could just be lucky enough to get in an accident or come down with some sudden deadly illness. I want to die without fear. My next attempt will be a jump, but I'm so afraid because the consequences of failing at this would definitely be very high. So I'm still here because I'm scared of surviving...

 

[SinisterKid]

meme depression apparently

It is amazing what you can learn in a place like this.

Oh, and I crave the attention of all you good people as it must validate my penchant for suicide is some way.

 

[Baskol1]

meme depression apparently

It is amazing what you can learn in a place like this.

Oh, and I crave the attention of all you good people as it must validate my penchant for suicide is some way.

How old are you? Im 19.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

There shouldn't be a lot. I still have moments where I think oh maybe a miracle will happen and I'll get saved and it will turn out alright. But everything is already crumbling under me and I am not worth saving, there really shouldn't be anything.

 

[SinisterKid]

Multiply by 3, add a few and you will be in the ball park.

 

[Dawn0071111]

Needing to put all my affairs in order for husband. Then to carry out plan since it wont be at my home. I want to make sure I leave everything, bills, passwords, papers, insurance, phone numbers.... It's a lot to do and I'm fatigued a lot. Plan slowly moving forward.

 

[lospollos]

To be honest I thought a child would give you a meaning in life? I'm sorry I just believed this but I suppose it is hard. I'm sorry you want to CTB :( however, I hope you can live happily with your son.

My son, and what comes next.

 

[Rocksandsand]

Perceived obligation - I don't want to cause grief to my brother or dad

My dog. I don't want him to go somewhere where he might not be loved enough

 

[Oblivion Lover]

I don't have any obligations or responsibilities to take care of before I ctb like many people here have. The only thing keeping me here is not having the means to buy SN online. The week when my SN arrive will likely be my last.

 

[spanishguy22]

Fear of surviving with brain damage with any method is the only reason Im still alive. Its very hard because i cant just ignore that worry but i want out so bad.