Discussion What's keeping you here... (for now)?

[SpareWheel]

Just time. Funnily enough I'd be gone already if not for Covid, I had a hotel booked for the end of April, had my method sorted and everything. Had to rearrange my dates to the 24th June.

Hopefully, all being well the lockdown will be relaxed enough for me to travel then, and the hotel will be back open for business.

I find it quite amusing that while the whole world is hiding indoors to save themselves from dying, and counting down the days til they can be free again, I'm indoors waiting to go die. I'd happily take C19 off someone if I thought it'd kill me, but I know my luck, I'll be one of those that gets a mild illness, pure irony.

 

[Klee]

Mostly, my horse. I've owned him for many years, and I feel more responsible for him than anything else. They are really expensive to keep, and much more complicated than a small pet. I don't feel right about leaving him with somebody else, so I hang on.

 

[Schweppes]

Family, certain friends

 

[torturedbylife]

The fact that I don't have a decent method available. I live in a shit hole where you can't have any guns(or any defensive weapon) and I couldn't even find any rope to hang myself with. I tried partial hanging with a belt then with a resistance band and it never worked. The next on my plan was full hanging but I have nowhere to do it. I live in a capital city so no forests for me, I could be found even in a secluded space so that's a big no for me. So now I changed to to jumping but it's really hard. I'm afraid to survive even if I jump from a high distance, considering the *luck* I always had. Plus, I tried to imagine myself doing that and it almost gave me palpitations. Dunno if I'll have the balls to do it but even so I'll have to wait till all the huge buildings will reopen since everything is still closed due to Corona virus. Sigh, I'm doomed...

 

[maru.]

I'm under conditions where i can't buy the stuff to ctb yet, thats it.
Ok, i'm also kind of waiting to see if things somehow don't go to shit, they probably will, but we never know.
Maybe i do bullshit my way to a degree, but what's most likely going to happen is that i'll bomb my exams from now on and drop out.
Then i'll have nothing else in life really, no direction, like, i already have no direction, but being at college allows me to go on auto pilot through my life.
If i end up dropping out, then i'll have to actively try something else, and i just can't anymore.
The exams i'll have starting next week will give me a good idea if i'll ctb or not.

 

[FinalDestination]

Not much really. I want to take my time so not to rush things and fail. I know that it will be some time before the year ends. I guess the only thing keeping me is finishing Uni. It will be the final loose end and I can be done.