What's keeping you alive?

[m1v]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

 

[PreCambrianBliss]

Really trying to consider all my options and give myself the chance for things to change before I call it. There's still things I'd like to have done before I die, I just don't see myself living out an entire life beyond that.

 

[Red Desert]

The lack of a detailed plan and a couple of unfinished business are holding me back

 

[KuroiSH]

Inaccessibility to reliable methods. If I'm going to kill myself, I have to make sure I do it right, otherwise I'll be forever known as the person who couldn't even kill himself right.

 

[m1v]

Inaccessibility to reliable methods. If I'm going to kill myself, I have to make sure I do it right, otherwise I'll be forever known as the person who couldn't even kill himself right.

I wonder if it's actually going to be hard to take action once having the method in hand. personally, I don't see anything being difficult..except if the method is complicated. I'm pretty confident about it, I don't see myself after an attempt.

 

[blackmask]

I wanna fuck pussy. And maybe I can just smoke the pain away and still somewhat function. I haven't got the chance to do either tho.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Nothing. Im just waiting to see if getting back into this hobby helps buy me a few more months. If it does not, ill just CTB in the summer.

 

[leavingsoon99]

My timeline, at this point. I have my means, and it will work. I took her shooting this afternoon. I'm very comforted now. Just living my timeline. This world is going to shit. I'll never have the love I've always craved. I quit my job. And no one is going to care. So, the only thing keeping me here are my own timeline and these playoffs are so fun!!! lol.

 

[KuroiSH]

I wonder if it's actually going to be hard to take action once having the method in hand. personally, I don't see anything being difficult..except if the method is complicated. I'm pretty confident about it, I don't see myself after an attempt.

There's always survival instinct to worry about. Some have it less, while others have it more, but it's there, and tries to prevent you from dying. Just hope you end up in the people who have a weaker survival instinct.

 

[m1v]

I wanna fuck pussy. And maybe I can just smoke the pain away and still somewhat function. I haven't got the chance to do either tho.

informative. hope you'll get the chance.

Nothing. Im just waiting to see if getting back into this hobby helps buy me a few more months. If it does not, ill just CTB in the summer.

we have the exact same 'reason' / plan. Time is ticking.

There's always survival instinct to worry about. Some have it less, while others have it more, but it's there, and tries to prevent you from dying. Just hope you end up in the people who have a weaker survival instinct.

I want my first attempt to be my last, so I never attempted. my method isn't something where SI kicks in hard (unlike jumping or hanging for example) so it shouldn't be a big problem (i think!!) Thanks for your answers :)

 

[blackmask]

informative. hope you'll get the chance.

we have the exact same 'reason' / plan. Time is ticking.

I want my first attempt to be my last, so I never attempted. my method isn't something where SI kicks in hard (unlike jumping or hanging for example) so it shouldn't be a big problem (i think!!) Thanks for your answers :)

you gonna overdose?

 

[SoftWorries]

Audiobooks, sex and psychedelic drugs.

 

[m1v]

you gonna overdose?

yes, not sure of its success rate but I'll take the chance anyway.

Audiobooks, sex and psychedelic drugs.

interesting. three unique and varied reasons, I like that.

 

[scarecrowbubu]

The fact that my mom has been through worse things than me, ctb would mean leave her alone in this messed up world

 

[roseleaf]

The people around me. I will never feel any peace before I die knowing that at least one of the people I'm close to will be right behind me if I decide to follow with my plan.

( Also, I didn't finish one of the book series that I'm reading yet, and I have too much pride to see the spoilers. )

 

[SoftWorries]

yes, not sure of its success rate but I'll take the chance anyway.

interesting. three unique and varied reasons, I like that.

Thanks. Audiobooks at 2 times speed to block out the negative voices in my head.

Sex and pleasure to keep me connected to my body and connected emotionally to others.

Psychedelic drugs to reveal to me beauty and mystery that can only be experienced while alive.

Hearing cool stories, having close physical connection and seeing and feeling beautiful trippy things has allowed me to push the blackness away a little. Psychedelics in particular have saved my life countless times

 

[nosoul]

I miss psychedelics, I was fine on weed and Lucy, dmt dealt me a death sentence of no hunger, emotion, bo sleep unless I take benzos.

 

[Lxions]

I don't have the motivation to end it all. So exhausting.

 

[poisonousspit]

mainly my cat and my online friends. but other than that, absolutely nothing.

 

[w@yn3sw0rld]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

Friends honestly, the only people I care for. And fictional characters I guess

 

[nosoul]

Not sure, some days ready to end it. Giving away dogs, I kind of want to end it now though

 

[Chemical Animal]

• my mother, who is the only person that actually cares about me, and I'm afraid of traumatizing her;
• my executive dysfunction (I'm almost always unable to research and plan any method because of my brain fogginess that keeps me paralyzed and/or daydreaming, spacing out etc.

there might be other small reasons that I can't recall, but these two are the major ones

 

[axxxu]

That I don't have a method yet. Once I get my hands on SN it's over for me.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I'm not bothered enough to do it, I have a ton of spare tech laying around I could easily sell and I really need to but I'm just too apathetic.

 

[uniqueusername39]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

I have the method at hand so I could do it anytime. Haven't done it yet because I'm waiting for things to get worse. I just need a trigger. There's no reason to stay, but there's also no reason to leave. It doesn't take effort to stay, it takes effort to leave (ie overcoming SI, arranging final affiars, etc.). Simple as that.

 

[NoParanoia]

What is still keeping you alive today? We surely must all have at least one reason. I think most of the people's reasons are slowly fading away and even disappearing. Which is why they happen to be there.

I had 2 reasons, one of them is almost completely gone. I'm basically holding onto a thread.

Paralyzed by fear. I've tried 5 times and never succeeded. Too sickly to work and too gloomy for anyone to look after me. I simply decaf further and further each day.

 

[Death is my goal]

not having a proper method to ctb.

 

[charlotte_]

Survival instincts and my favorite person

 

[KarmicRain]

family. they'd care if I ctb'd. it's the only reason I'm still around.
I honestly believe my parents care enough to raise me well but it doesn't really change the fact that this world's a dystopia. all I can really do is distract myself as much as possible.

 

[unnormal9]

I fear saying it would null my desire to ctb, because, I am in so much pain even still and I want it to end.
But, I do have something, something I feel... Not ready yet.