What’s it mean when you like the idea of sex more than the reality of it?

[Kramer]

Actual sex is meh in my experience

 

[waterstrider]

Omg...I think so too.
But maybe we haven’t had the ideal partner yet?
Who knows.

 

[Kramer]

Omg...I think so too.
But maybe we haven’t had the ideal partner yet?
Who knows.

Starfish partners are the market

 

[xLosthopex]

Same lol
I think for me it’s a mixture of the validation and feeling desired or ‘worthy’, I think I also use it as a distraction, and often will put myself in risky/dangerous situations when it comes to sex which helps to numb the pain from my everyday life

 

[waterstrider]

Same lol
I think for me it’s a mixture of the validation and feeling desired or ‘worthy’, I think I also use it as a distraction, and often will put myself in risky/dangerous situations when it comes to sex which helps to numb the pain from my everyday life

I relate to that very much - being in dangerous situations. Sadly been there and done that. Hope you are taking care of yourself atm and don’t do anything too stupid. :/

 

[ovaltinee99]

Sex is so glamourised in the media, it’s ridiculous. So if you have it for the first time knowing about it only through TV/ film/ porn, you’re going to be disappointed.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Real sex > imaginary sex.

 

[Bärchen]

Its not worth all the hassle, just do it yourself and post-nut-clarity hits.

 

[Kramer]

Its not worth all the hassle, just do it yourself and post-nut-clarity hits.

I remember I used to have some options, but I would always masturbate to the idea of being with them only to lose all interest after finishing. I then figured I didn’t want to bother. I regret it though

 

[Ghost2211]

I think the majority of things are better in our imaginations. That’s why good sex toy solves that problem.

 

[Symbiote]

Real sex involves physical and emotional effort. When you're depressed or tired, you don't have that energy to do expend, so getting quickies settles this. There's also performance anxiety which is a true boner killer worse than "whiskey dick". Your partners may even feel slighted that you couldn't perform correctly and hold it against you until the next time. I mean who wants to be with a person that gives you a fucking report card on how well you did in bed every time? Now if it's a one-night stand or you went out with a hooker, then that's a bit more manageable because it's just a transaction, no emotional strings to pull.

 

[nerve]

I've never felt safe or comfortable enough around another person for sex to be more rewarding than just masturbating.

 

[Kramer]

Real sex involves physical and emotional effort. When you're depressed or tired, you don't have that energy to do expend, so getting quickies settles this. There's also performance anxiety which is a true boner killer worse than "whiskey dick". Your partners may even feel slighted that you couldn't perform correctly and hold it against you until the next time. I mean who wants to be with a person that gives you a fucking report card on how well you did in bed every time? Now if it's a one-night stand or you went out with a hooker, then that's a bit more manageable because it's just a transaction, no emotional strings to pull.

I went for an hour with the last girl I was with and never climaxed. I had change on the floor by my shoes and didn’t want to take it because it would jingle in my pocket and could wake someone up. So I said she could have it. She was so offended lol

 

[neitherherenorthere]

Maybe somewhere on the ace spectrum? Being ace doesn't necessarily mean that you don't have a libido, it just means that generally you're not into sex with other people. There's also greysexual, which is where you only occasionally have sexual attraction to another person. The sexuality wiki has a lot of information about this type of stuff.

 

[Kramer]

Maybe somewhere on the ace spectrum? Being ace doesn't necessarily mean that you don't have a libido, it just means that generally you're not into sex with other people. There's also greysexual, which is where you only occasionally have sexual attraction to another person. The sexuality wiki has a lot of information about this type of stuff.

I can’t take all those labels seriously. Society has become ridiculous in its need to label everything.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Never tried sex, imagine it being a bit better than eating pizza but not quite as amazing as completing a solid speedrun on a game.

 

[Mentalmick]

I'm A sexual so I wouldn't know.

 

[Mthom2]

As I've aged, I like sex less and less. Now it kinda grosses me out. People are generally nasty, especially in the genital regions. Just eww. I drive rideshare, and it nearly traumatizes me when women get into my car with very short skirts. I immediately disinfect the seat cover when they get out.

 

[stygal]

Sex can be whatever you make out of it.
I guess communication with your partner and actually knowing what you want and like can make a big difference.
I personally am over it at that point and prefer to just stick to imagination too.

 

[Symbiote]

As I've aged, I like sex less and less. Now it kinda grosses me out. People are generally nasty, especially in the genital regions. Just eww. I drive rideshare, and it nearly traumatizes me when women get into my car with very short skirts. I immediately disinfect the seat cover when they get out.

Oh god, especially the ones that are sweaty from dancing and drinking, then they leave an ass-print on your leather seats in the back. Ugh, like really? You couldn't at least freshen up before you get in my car?

 

[Mthom2]

Haha, it reminds me of that scene in the "Matrix" when Agent Smith is ranting about humanity being a nasty virus. He wipes the sweat from Morpheus' bald head and nearly sticks his fingers up his nose. All like SMELL IIIIT!

It's bad that I can totally relate with that...

 

[Gnip]

Part of it is the idea of sex comes without consequences. There are no STDs, no pregnancies, no bad interpersonal feelings or negative repercussions between people who have engaged in the practice together.

Females read romantic novels, while visually oriented males watch porn, then the reality is almost invariably guaranteed to be a letdown. A sex toy is not attached to a living human being with all the inherent complexities involved.

As I've aged, I like sex less and less. Now it kinda grosses me out. People are generally nasty, especially in the genital regions. Just eww. I drive rideshare, and it nearly traumatizes me when women get into my car with very short skirts. I immediately disinfect the seat cover when they get out.

Oh god, especially the ones that are sweaty from dancing and drinking, then they leave an ass-print on your leather seats in the back. Ugh, like really? You couldn't at least freshen up before you get in my car?

Thanks for the thought, you two! Now I'm going to have to get vinyl seat protectors for my fabric upholstered car chairs!...(Somehow, I just don't think Scotchgard is gonna cut it...)

Sex can be whatever you make out of it.
I guess communication with your partner and actually knowing what you want and like can make a big difference.
I personally am over it at that point and prefer to just stick to imagination too.

Boredom with the real thing, eh? (Being a virgin, I wouldn't know, having no context, but I am long, LONG beyond the point of ever wanting to find out what the reality would be.)

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Can be something intimate and loving that is performed as a gesture of affection, rather than an outlet for raw pleasure.
I personally can't do it much anymore because of pain, yet others I know go wild about the idea of banging someone. Never got much pleasure from that sort of thing, but I'm a woman.

 

[WornOutLife]

Not only sex. There's many things that when you imagine them look awesome but in reality they're not such a big deal.
Sure, sex can be fun but if you think closely about it, it's about two people exchanging fluids and having a 5 seconds orgasm. (if there's any lol)

However, when you watch porn, hentai or whatever, it looks incredible and in the end, it's just putting your d**k in a hole so, not a big deal.

I'm more surprised and interested in the universe. Just what the hell is this thing called life, galaxies, stars and so on!?

 

[Kramer]

As I've aged, I like sex less and less. Now it kinda grosses me out. People are generally nasty, especially in the genital regions. Just eww. I drive rideshare, and it nearly traumatizes me when women get into my car with very short skirts. I immediately disinfect the seat cover when they get out.

Have most women you’ve had sex with being unhygienic?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Actual sex is meh in my experience

Either your "Pleasure Pathways" aka Neural Network is off, or you need more practice, honest opinion.

 

[Nymph]

Maybe demi sexual?a person that might not wanna have sex with someone until they get to really meet them and get close. Or some sort of asexuality. I’m ace myself but I personally don’t even like the idea of sex

 

[Weather]

I suppose it means that you either aren't very good at sex, you haven't had a partner that you actually have a good connection with, or you want to use sex as a weapon and it hasn't panned out in reality like it does in your fantasies.

There are lots of other reasons someone might not enjoy sex (trauma, self hatred, not being oriented toward it, etc.), but I don't know how much you would enjoy the idea of it then.

 

[Mthom2]

Have most women you’ve had sex with being unhygienic?

Oh, I'm a woman and never been attracted to other women. It's just that I've driven some really smelly people.

The situation that resulted in me getting a back seat cover involved a women who had on a dress that didn't cover her butt. When she got out of the car, there was nothing but nacked butt right in my face, no underwear. And the smell. It was nauseating and shocking. I thought only corpses could smell that bad, and this is no exaggeration. She actually left a small puddle of something in my seat.

Anyways, that just made it worse for me. Since I have this idea of humanity being mostly nasty, it made it worse.

 

[Mer]

Actual sex is meh in my experience

It was also meh for me. Masturbation is 100% superior. I orgasm 100% of the time, not STD or HIV concerns and no pregnancy! Plus my imagination is great.