Yes I know this, fear of failure again, the shame of it. I have given my self a list of things to achieve this time before I go to ctb again. Most of them easy like jobs at home and stuff. I guess that was in some attempt to make me stick at recovery.
A small part of me still wants to see if there's any chance at rebuilding my life. But I'm such a failure I can't leave my house to even try meds again let alone get a script for meto.
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