HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
Lol I hope y'all don't get fed up with these type of questions since I asked about what's the meaning behind your profile picture but I'm really curious :) if you check my thread of what your pfp means and if you check every comment, I liked them all (I may have missed some tho) I really do care about y'all and I read them all so I'm curious to see if your username has any meaning behind it, SS makes it clear that you can never change it so what makes it so special!

my name is horrible feelings because I have horrible feelings :P, and horrible feelings was taken so I added a 1 in there.

hbu??
 
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GoBack

GoBack

Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
Mine Is because I live in the past where things were still fucked up but no where near as bad as now. It feels stupid now when I see it, but I didn't think I'd be here more than a few days so oh well

Also my imagination is not at its best anymore
 
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FriendofDeath

FriendofDeath

Elementalist
May 22, 2020
833
Mine comes from the loss of my child, and I told my psychiatrist I needed to make friends with death. That freaked her out, but my intentions are to learn everything I can. I also once had an hallucination of death outside my window - yep, a skeleton in a black robe. I wasn't afraid and tried to reach out to him.
 
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watereyes

watereyes

les malheurs de lizzie
Mar 27, 2020
737
My eyes are often watery because of infection, or just crying.
 
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GravityUtilizer

GravityUtilizer

Born to lose
May 22, 2020
737
Hi! I'm new and haven't decided on ctb yet but if I do I plan to utilize gravity by jumping off a cliff.
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
I like Autumn, and 'autumnal' is an adjective meaning related to Autumn. Nothing too advanced here!
 
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The Dark Chaos

The Dark Chaos

Craving chaos..
Apr 17, 2020
215
Ohkayy..So here's myy lousyy attempt to explain the meaning behind myy username...

THE DARK CHAOS

The word "Dark" signifies evil and fear. The darkness is almost a monster which is readyy to swallow you whole. It describes myy point of view as a person who sees the world at a bad place, who sees nothing good anywhere she turns, who thinks that there is no hope of anything better.

The word 'Chaos' is derived from a Greek word meaning "chasm" or "void," which makes sense, given that chaos also refers to the formless state of matter before the cosmos was created. And so "chaos" here represents myy thoughts of utter confusion and disorder.
 
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Deleted member 17331

Deleted member 17331

The swan sang with a broken neck
Apr 21, 2020
376
It is a little simple.

When I was a kid, I had visions of some creatures running around in my head. They had an angelic appearance, but were often frightening and mischievous. So, I called these creatures "Goblins", as they were very mean.

Today I don't see them anymore, but I can still feel them inside my head. So "Goblins In My Head".
 
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P

PatheticRylee

Member
Mar 24, 2020
24
I go by Rylee, and I'm pathetic.
 
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HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
Nepenthe is a medicine in Homer's Odyssey. Helen of Troy drinks it to forget sorrow.
 
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M

Matthias_k

...
Apr 18, 2020
247
The hair color of my first little girlfriend. Nostalgia for a long-gone past.
 
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enjolras

enjolras

Dead are useless if not to love the living more
Feb 13, 2020
1,293
A revolutionary fiction character from the roman of Victor Hugo, "The wretched"
I must confess it's my second username here, not the one I intended as first intention, after I decided the previous one leaked my identity past personal taste.
Both are related though, since it's also the signature name of the real historical figure I admire the most : Louise Michel, when she was exchanging letters with Hugo

My initial meaning is to be found on the poem named "Above men" (in latin), after he wrote in her honor, which gets me down to my knees each times, so close it defines my core fiber. The context is not invented, but reports a court trial that happened. I've not been moved deeper by another art piece.

———The french original text is sublime, but not aware of any accurate translation, here comes Google's slaughter——-

Having seen the huge massacre, the fight
The people on their cross, Paris on their pallet,
The tremendous pity was in your words.
You were doing what big crazy souls do
And, tired of struggling, dreaming of suffering,
You said, "I killed!" Because you wanted to die.

You were lying against you, terrible and superhuman.
Judith the dark Jew, Aria the Roman
Clapped hands while you were talking.
You said to the granaries: "I burned the palaces!"
You glorified those who are crushed and trampled on.
You were screaming, "I killed! Let me kill me! - And the crowd
Listened to this haughty woman accusing herself.
You seemed to send the tomb a kiss;
Your fixed eye hung over the livid judges;
And you thought like the grave Eumenides.

The pale dead man was standing behind you.
The whole vast hall was full of dread.
Because the bleeding people hate the civil war.
Outside we heard the rumor of the city.
This woman listened to life with confused noises
From above, in the austere attitude of refusal.
She didn't seem to understand anything else
That a pillory erected for an apotheosis;
And, finding noble affront and beautiful torture
Sinister, she hastened the step towards the tomb
The judges whispered, "Let her die! It's just
She is infamous - Unless she is Auguste "
Said their conscience. And judge them, thoughtful
In front of yes, in front of no, as between two reefs
Wavering, looking at the severe culprit.

And those who, like me, know you are incapable
Of all that is not heroism and virtue,
Who knows if you were told, "Where are you from?"
You would answer: "I come from the night when we suffer;
Yes, I come out of the duty of which you are making a pit!
Those who know your mysterious and sweet verses,
Your days, your nights, your care, your tears given to everyone,
Your forgetting of yourself to help others,
Your word like the flames of the apostles;
Those who know the roof without fire, without air, without bread
The strap bed with the fir table
Your kindness, your pride as a popular woman.
The bitter tenderness that sleeps under your anger

Your long look of hatred to all inhumans
And the feet of the children warmed in your hands;
These, woman, before your fierce majesty
Meditated, and despite the bitter fold of your mouth
Despite the curser who, beating on you
Threw you all the indignant cries of the law
Despite your fatal and high voice accusing you
See the angel shine through the jellyfish.

You were tall, and seemed strange in these debates;
Because, puny like all the living here below,
Nothing troubles them more than two souls mixed
May the divine chaos of starry things
Overview at the bottom of a big inclined heart
And that radiation seen in a blaze.

——-
Despite her sins (not fully innocent), in the end, she was not let to choose the death penalty, but was deported on an island——

Bold Woman with audacity
 
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4eyebiped

4eyebiped

Mage
Dec 28, 2019
567
Mine is simply a description of myself. Though, not an overly creative one. There isn't any deep meaning here. 4eye - I wear glasses. Biped - An animal that walks on two legs.
 
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JustAnotherSuicider

JustAnotherSuicider

Hoping for the best - expecting the worst
Dec 28, 2019
98
Well, there's ain't much to explain in my case I guess ^^
I just thought that there are already a lot of suiciders on this forum (on suicide forum, what a surprise), so I'm just another one of them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
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Bct

Bct

Disqualified from Being Human
Apr 20, 2020
419
Abbreviation of someone who talks too much in my local language. Actually made around 4 more accounts but weren't approved by mods due to my internet setting. No beef since now I can post here with this account.
 
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A

Aap

Enlightened
Apr 26, 2020
1,856
Autocorrect and a poorly placed finger
 
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Nuclear Gandhi

Nuclear Gandhi

Member
May 11, 2020
55
I love Civilization games, so I named myself after infamous bug in the first installment, when Gandhi aggression level goes from zero to maximum and he becomes killing machine :)
 
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Mooshi

Mooshi

Across space and across time, I will be there.
Jan 13, 2020
205
The darkness (mental illnesses, my outlook on life, trauma, etc) in my head is overwhelming, it has consumed me to the point where I'm planning and intending to ctb.
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
my name comes from the desire to die, it's like "world please let me die, give me the eternal peace"
 
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rainonme

rainonme

Member
May 22, 2020
34
a cool new song
 
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MephistoJustBeneath

MephistoJustBeneath

Member
May 21, 2020
24
Mine comes from a Radiohead song called "Videotape", a beautiful track that I've interpreted to be about suicide. The second line of the song is "Mephistopheles is just beneath, and he's reaching out to grab me," except I shortened it to Mephisto, as in the devil character from Marvel comics.
 
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cant cry

cant cry

I probably won't respond if you write me
Oct 11, 2019
32
Mine is pretty straightforward --I cannot cry. No matter how badly I want to. Actually I burst into sobs about twice a year but I feel like crying most days and the tears just won't come.
 
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StuckAF

StuckAF

Member
Apr 16, 2020
92
I don't know what to do :)
 
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K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
My name is Kira and I am a little owl
0_0
 
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ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Wizard
Feb 5, 2020
694
Mine is nothing deep. It's meant to be taken sarcastically. It's a username I've been using off and on since I was a teenager. I'm 33 now, and I guess that's the one part of my personality that has never changed.
 
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RealLifeTamagotchi

RealLifeTamagotchi

memento mori
Dec 15, 2019
29
Tamagotchi characters can't do anything by themselves and they tend to become sad or ill very easily...just like the state of my mind when I created this account. I'm much better now btw:)
 
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beyond_aquila_rift

beyond_aquila_rift

Student
May 11, 2020
103
Mine comes from a miniseries on Netflix called love death robots.

The episode is called "beyond the aquila rift". The crew gets stuck in space light years beyond their destination with no chance of making it anywhere else. A "creature" there "takes care" of all the lost souls/lost vessels that make it there by routing error. The creature creates a hallucination/simulation that makes their lives bearable until they die from starvation, essentially. Because ultimately they are stuck there and this creature does not want them to suffer more than they already are. When a character starts to pick up on the fact that something isn't right, the creature reveals to them everything as it truly is and the simulation stops. They see themselves stuck in their seats starving to death, amongst all the other dead intertwined in this creatures home/web/end of space type structure. It's truly hideous and heartbreaking when they find out. Then the simulation resets.

This is what I feel my life has been. All the simulation of a normal life, normal reality. Then bam it's all lost to this hideous underbelly that's always been there. Then the simulation resets but with each reset the simulation gets weaker and weaker. And I guess that's why I'm here. Because nothing creates that normal facade for me anymore.
 
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Jblack

Jblack

Specialist
Oct 8, 2018
314
Joe Black is the angel of death in the movie. I feel that everything I touch dies, sort of like the angel of death.
 
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irreversibledamage

irreversibledamage

Member
May 23, 2020
17
No matter what I do, no matter what happens, the damage is done, it's irreversible.

I don't really like this username, I created it in a rush, but now I can't change it, it's irreversible.
 
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mote

mote

Member
Apr 7, 2020
23
Screenshot 20200524 102331 Firefox
Mine comes from 'Pale Blue Dot'.
I'm a mote of dust among everything. Humanity itself and the universe as a whole. I don't matter. That's not neccesarily a bad thing, it's more like a 'neutral' thing. Sometimes it's a relief.
 
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