What's actually makes you still here?

[Front Back]

Hi, I kinda want to know. I meself feels like I'm here to pay a debt off and just left. Sometimes I think about me little sister but putting me life on her doesn't sit right for me. I love that little lady but I don't want to stay here just to suffer longer to see her become something. I just know me death will probably affect her hard but I don't know if I'm allowed to say anything. Once this debt over, I'll get meself a plushie to help me walk over the edge of life.

 

[caramelpudding]

For me I think it's not my time yet but hope it will be soon. Kind of you to think about your little sister, maybe someday it won't be suffering as today and you might live to see her become something. I hope the best for you

 

[Pvnie]

I feel stuck due to my dads recent passing and my grandmothers deteriorating health and just my family in general. Most of the elders in my family have me on some weird awkward pedestal and they truly care for me and have had high hopes for me, literally saw me get birthed into this world as well.


My mom has been overprotective my whole life which is partially why I have lots of social issues aside from my faulty wiring in my head, and shes told me if something happened to me she wouldn't be able to live with herself. I sadly have enough empathy and sympathy or whatever to not go with my plans, but everyday I feel myself inching closer and closer to the brink. I don't even care about heaven or hell or whatever and my research into religion has made me even more curious about death.

Oh, and people in real life genuinely want me to commit suicide and they say horrid things about me, so a little bit of ego and pride as well as liking to be able to defend myself.

 

[Mrs. T-800]

I have good days and bad days. On the good (or, at least, neutral) days – which are, for now, more common than the bad ones – I am simply happy. I always carry around a little sadness with me, but that's my nature as a person; I'm softhearted, I had/have difficult circumstances, etc. But bad days are very, very, very bad. The good and neutral days make life liveable.

Why do I stick around?
I love my family, I want to be with them and pray about them, as well as live to make a difference when and how I can in any way. I want to be able to be a positive force in the world. I'm also simply scared. I have little, low-stakes things that I look forward to and stick around for – I love to watch the streetlamps come on in the evening and see what time they turned on, I have plants to care for, I have a relaxed wish list of things I want to do (have pet birds, get a motorcycle, write as much fanfic as possible, learn certain skills) that I feel no pressure to complete but just would like to do.
Also I feel like my parents put in so much work for me to live. It would crush me to crush my mom. I want her to live as happy and easy a life as possible.

 

[FuneralCry]

I only continue to suffer in this terrible, torturous and dreadful existence as a result of existing in this horrific world where humans have made it a crime to cease existing peacefully with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what.

All I want is to be gone, for me non-existence is just all that's positive in this existence I just always saw as the most terrible mistake that just causes all this cruelty, torture and suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel. I always suffer as a result of being trapped in this painful, dreadful existence that just never should had been imposed, to suffer in this existence truly is an abomination to me, I just want to be permanently unconscious free from all suffering, all that anti-suicide does is cause way more torture and suffering, it's truly criminal to me how humans are forced to suffer in this existence.

 

[JoeFailure]

I have good days and bad days. On the good (or, at least, neutral) days – which are, for now, more common than the bad ones – I am simply happy. I always carry around a little sadness with me, but that's my nature as a person; I'm softhearted, I had/have difficult circumstances, etc. But bad days are very, very, very bad. The good and neutral days make life liveable.

Why do I stick around?
I love my family, I want to be with them and pray about them, as well as live to make a difference when and how I can in any way. I want to be able to be a positive force in the world. I'm also simply scared. I have little, low-stakes things that I look forward to and stick around for – I love to watch the streetlamps come on in the evening and see what time they turned on, I have plants to care for, I have a relaxed wish list of things I want to do (have pet birds, get a motorcycle, write as much fanfic as possible, learn certain skills) that I feel no pressure to complete but just would like to do.
Also I feel like my parents put in so much work for me to live. It would crush me to crush my mom. I want her to live as happy and easy a life as possible.

This is really nice. If I could figure out a job I can actually do I'd probably stick around for similar reasons. But it's cool that you want to stay for other people, very selfless.