Discussion What would your 15-year-old self think of you?

[DefinitelyReady]

In my case I think she'd be absolutely horrified, maybe even in disbelief, unable to conceive of how someone could spend their life starving on obscenely little amounts of food then binging on obscenely enormous amounts of food then making themself throw up then doing it all over again day after day after day for years on end, all the while having failed at committing suicide several times, and being completely disinterested in all their previous interests, and being completely isolated, having never found a boyfriend even approaching 24,

Hope your 24yr old self doesn't feel that way... I don't.

 

[derpyderpins]

That's a really tough one. 15-year-old me was basically a different person. Rage and love. Superiority complex: thought I was better than everyone and hated myself at the same time because of rejection from the in-crowd. I'm probably too hard on myself: I had a lot of the same values, just more twisted. I was trapped and felt like I had no control. I was kind when no one was watching, but had to put a show on in front of anyone to maintain the arrogant SOB facade I thought gave me character. The funny thing is that people who know me might be shocked to hear me say that because of how I masked around different folks but I know internally I've changed a lot.

Part of him would be surprised I didn't ctb by now, especially since I'm neither famous nor ultra-wealthy.

Luckily, he wouldn't give me shit for being a "wage-slave". That's more 22-25 year old me. (Well, more like 22-25 year old me would just kill themselves immediately knowing that nothing broke me out of the normal routine.)

15-year-old me would be mad I don't have more accomplishments or wealth.

He'd be excited that my wife is gorgeous, lol. I hope he'd be happy overall with the relationship. I see no reason why he wouldn't, but my younger self might be upset it isn't whoever I was latching onto that week or that she isn't more dark and edgy.

He'd be glad I moved away.

He'd be weirded out by the fact that I drink, but glad I keep it in check and don't have wild tendencies.

I like to think he'd be happy with my progress in guitar, and absolutely with my progress in songwriting/production, but he'd still be disappointed I haven't done anything professional with it.

The question is overall. . . He'd probably say out loud that he thought I turned out pretty okay but inside his pessimist ass would be devastated that my life is so normal.

 

[nux_walpurgis]

She'd rather die than end up in that state
She hoped the future would be better. Age and time would heal her. Little did she know it's gotten so much worse.

 

[Davey40210]

15 year old me was already depressed and suicidal so he would think: Wow you really got far considering your circumstances, but I understand you want to CTB and you should go ahead with it

 

[imnotsurewhy]

Oh she would kill me in pure rage that is justifyable tbh

 

[Chili]

Embarrassed. I had a lot of goals, but I've just gotten progressively worse in life.

 

[Sgrodolo]

I mean I knew I was gonna end up like this eventually, so he wouldn't be that surprised. Though considering how miserable I was when I was 15 he would be surprised I managed to get this far

 

[Bleneviola]

Upset at how my life turned out. Maybe upset that I ended up always feeling that way (at 15 I thought I'd grow out of it). I think she'd sympathize with my decision
Upset at how my life turned out. Maybe upset that I ended up always feeling that way (at 15 I thought I'd grow out of it). I think she'd sympathize with my decision

 

[greyblue_bian]

Thankful most likely, to be warned and informed of what and who to steer clear of and why.
Though probably a bit more saddened, fearful and disappointed after being made aware of the true nature of their circumstances, such is life.
At the very least they'd have more time to recover, prepare and plan ahead.

Hey, it's off-topic but I love your It's Okay to Not Be Okay profile picture.

 

[wCvML2]

15 was when I really got into self improvement and productivity for the first time and was consistent with both nutrition and exercise, so that past version of me would be exasperated if they saw how I turned out because I'm very self-destructive and rotting away (for years) in autopilot while eating junk food and not moving at all except at work.

 

[Ms.Melancholy]

He (she?) would've wished for more, maybe even start to transition then and there, but they'd understand what happened.
I was somewhat passively suicidal since like 10 or so I believe, mostly due to bullying for my brain-dead, borderline autistic behavior.

 

[BecomingTired]

In my case I think she'd be absolutely horrified, maybe even in disbelief, unable to conceive of how someone could spend their life starving on obscenely little amounts of food then binging on obscenely enormous amounts of food then making themself throw up then doing it all over again day after day after day for years on end, all the while having failed at committing suicide several times, and being completely disinterested in all their previous interests, and being completely isolated, having never found a boyfriend even approaching 24, and to top it all off, unemployed due to incapacity.

I think teenage-me would look at current-me with scorn and pity.

Probably disappointed that all of his efforts eventually led up to me.

 

[WithTheFlow]

I had the same problems that I do now. So he would understand much more about himself but probably kill himself on the spot with the understanding that at least the next 8 years of his life are going to be extremely painful and pointless.

 

[Unhumanly.]

My 15 y.o self doesn't care, doesn't have a big dream yet, innocent and full of love, well that's until that one eventful age

 

[madoka]

she would likely be every sad that a relationship didn't work out, and would ask why i haven't ctb yet ..
i don't rlly like my younger self that much, as i was a rlly stupid girl

 

[AbsurdAbyss]

the old me would be surprised i didn't kill myself yet, then kill themselves/me without hesitation - nothing else will save me from myself.

 

[noname37]

Wish he would've succeeded, also bizarrely enough, many of his fears came true

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I guess ust horrified. I didn't have any sense of future of at all because I think I latently knew I had none. Lo and behold.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

At 15 I ran away from home. 15 worrying about paying rent, trying to keep my sanity.
A lot has changed through the years, the 15 year old me never really left me, but I think she would be proud of what she overcame, but also be disappointed of the mess, the struggle and heartbreak it took to get where I'm now.

 

[unsaiddes]

My 15 year old self would probably be pretty disappointed that I'm just as miserable now as I was back then. Maybe a little impressed that I made it this far, and excited that we get to be an aunt. Definitely indignant that I'm smarter now - I was a complete know-it-all at that age. I don't like to think about her that much because it just makes me more depressed. If I tried to tell her what she should do differently, she wouldn't listen.

 

[dune_dweller]

My 15 year old self would probably be pretty disappointed that I'm just as miserable now as I was back then.

I felt this.

You know, when I was 15/16 I used to go to this rap battle website to post my poems/rap lyrics.

The site is no longer in existence anymore, but can be accessed slightly using the Wayback Machine.

I managed to find a page that had one of my posts on there, and a rap/poem that I wrote when I was 16 -

and I still resonate with it now, at 37, and that is so damn sad to me.

 

[MelancholyMagic]

"Could have been worse."

 

[Mirrory Me]

"In the end, people only care about themselves."

 

[kyhoti]

15 year old me would kill Now me, if face-to-face. Or he'd go through with his CTB plan, knowing what was to come.

 

[coolgal82]

15 year old me was like right before my mental health suddenly dropped off of a cliff so she'd probably be like "how the fuck did it get so bad???"