Discussion What would you write in your suicide letter?

[obei]

What would you write? Who would you write it to? Would that be your last words or would you write it before you decide to do it?

 

[thot88]

My suicide message includes an apology to my relatives and even though I no longer exist, I am still always a part of them. And I emphasize that this is not their fault. I just can't bear to suffer from neurological problems anymore and not be a part of this society.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've already drafted it but it's not even halfway done even though I've been working on it on and off for years. I designed my note to be deliberately long-winded and annoying to read in order to ensure that anyone who does read it gets frustrated enough to understand exactly why my CTB makes sense. By angering and frustrating people with my ways they'll see just how morally reprehensible I was which would conversely lead to them being quite happy I killed myself instead of being allowed to continue to live and this cause more evil to happen to the world.

 

[d2reason]

I've written multiple notes over the years. I used to start by explaining what led me to wanting death, but I don't think other people would understand or care.
My thinking now is that if I left a note, it would be barebones instructions about my post-death wishes. Most importantly, I would tell my family not to blame themselves or get hung up on me; I wouldn't want to be burden after I die either.

 

[mortuarymary]

A huge apology. Why I'm going to do it. What happens if it goes wrong. I want a DNR order put in place (if poss)
Funeral details etc, insurances, my will. If viable organs to be donated.
Ashes to go with my mom ashes. Direct cremation. Nothing fancy at all and to play perfect day when they fire the crem up. No memorial, no flowers but donations to hospice.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd just explain how non-existence is what I truly wished for and how ceasing to exist is actually something positive for me as it means finding freedom and safety from suffering. If I was privileged enough to access the option of a peaceful and reliable way to cease existing on my own terms I'd certainly write some kind of explanation like that.

 

[throneofdispair03]

I'm not planning to leave one. I wish to be forgotten.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Something simple for family to let them know I need this.

A note to the abusive partner who caused me so much trauma, to let them feel a tenth of the pain I felt. Emotional abuse, kicking me, months of it. I want in my end for him to know he was one of the causes.

I want him to cry and feel every ounce of pain and to be broken into shards because of it.

 

[dysthymia]

No letter because they don't deserve closure. If they really care to find out why I ctb, then they can look through my social media and see my pain there. Maybe I'll write "sanctioned suicide" on my hand or something so they can see it. Actually, no, I don't want this forum to be taken down.

 

[Bremer]

Of course I would like to explain why I left, why I no longer had the strength to carry on and who I really was, what I was like inside.

But then I think, if the people around me don't understand me now and don't (want to) see how or who I am, can I explain it to them in a letter? And will they understand then? I lack hope.

But I would want to try. I don't want anyone to mourn me, I would like people to be grateful for the time we spent together. But even more than that, I want them to be happy for me, because then I will have made it.

It really is a difficult subject, at least for me.

 

[sammiechzxv]

I guess I'd just try to explain my feelings to whoever finds it. I don't have anyone I want to say bye to. Just a lot to get off my chest.

 

[Aim]

Wear a condom next time, stop pretending to be something that your clearly not. Goodbye and kiss me ass.

 

[Abyssal]

Writing a journal. Just day to day stuff and how I feel that day. A lot of pain, a lot of jokes, and a table of contents on what entries I find most important.

Motivation on writing it is hard and I've destroyed my hand doing calligraphy so it's not easy to write.

 

[CandycanePuke]

I'll probably leave a more general note, kind of a basic explanation and what I want done post-mortem, and then I'll leave a note to my ex that I'm still friends with because I know she'll blame herself, but it's really not her fault she was my last reason to live.

 

[Morpho]

I'm going to write a letter to my best friend saying I'm sorry and it's not his fault

 

[DesperateOne]

I initially wrote a long note explaining the entirety of my life (like 1-2 full pages), but now I've changed my mind... I've realized that it was way too much fluff. They will also not truly understand most of it. This new note will just be me apologizing for such a selfish act, stating that my mind was beyond repair for a long time and telling them how I love them all so very much.

When I get emotional, I also want to tell them that if they weren't so absent and were at least a little bit more firm/competent to notice me going off the deep end early on, I wouldn't turn into such a freak of a human that I am today. Turns out that being alone in a room, on the computer for 10+ hours per day since 11, getting no sleep + failing at school because of it, and being completely disconnected from the real world doesn't turn you into a good well adjusted human being after all...

I decided to skip this since nobody benefits. I will be dead anyways and my parents already had a very tough life, so reminding and giving them even more burden to live with would be the most disgusting thing I could ever do. I really do genuinely think though that without this severe isolation/addiction and more firm parenting, I would turn out to become a radically different person and not this selfish narcissistic delusional heartless monster that requires screens to not going insane.

At the end of the note I will once again apologize for being the way that I was, tell them that I will be watching over them on the other side in complete peace and that I want my body to be cremated.

 

[throneofdispair03]

no letter, no point in writing one/