What would you do with 20k usd before you ctb?

[Minsu]

I'm actually in a situation where I have like $20 000 in my bank account and due to my drug induced brain damage I can't go to work anymore.

So I'm just thinking about what I should do with my savings? A trip to Peru for getting N?

What would you do if you had 20k usd?

 

[CatLvr]

I would go here:

The Last Resort |

www.thelastresort.ch

 

[SoulWhisperer]

If I had a lot of money I'd spend most of it to do anything I like for the last time or experience something cool, you know, basic stuffs then spend the rest on CTB. Although I'm no money management expert so I can't give advice on what you should do with it, so yuh, the generic advice is probably to invest it in the thing you think would be the best (ik this is prolly useless advice, gomen )

 

[Bananaman]

Would spend it all to modify my car and then crash at very high speeds with no seatbelt on and the airbag fuse removed so that it won't activate, giving me a 99% chance of dying

 

[Arahant]

drug induced brain damage I can't go to work anymore.

Can I ask what drug(s) that was, and how the damage manifests and was diagnosed?

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Drugs. So many drugs.

 

[revontulet]

I have almost the same sum in my account. I'm probably going to donate part of it to local animal welfare association.

 

[M4rii]

I would probably buy drugs

 

[avalonisburning]

Pay off my debts and put the remainder in a payable-on-death account for my family to use on my funeral when they find my body.

 

[hereornot]

Maybe i don't ctb.

 

[Tommen Baratheon]

I would go here:

The Last Resort |

www.thelastresort.ch

I read you have to be at least 50yo (or physically ill). Also:

 

[CatLvr]

I read you have to be at least 50yo (or physically ill). Also:

Oops, my apologies. I forget everyone isn't an old fart like me and @whywere Guess there are some advantages to age after all, huh, Walter??

 

[WaitingForMyRide]

A trip to Peru for some N.

 

[CatLvr]

I have almost the same sum in my account. I'm probably going to donate part of it to local animal welfare association.

As a person who has always been more fond of animals than humans this made my heart happy. Thank you.

 

[Minsu]

Can I ask what drug(s) that was, and how the damage manifests and was diagnosed?

A long term user of high doses of pregabalin and tramadol. Both prescribed by my psychiatrist as a last resort drugs to my treatment resistant depression/anxiety.

I can sleep for only max 3 hours at night, I've got crippling memory loss and some other things.. and it gets worse so I just have to ctb.

Btw thanks for asking!

As a person who has always been more fond of animals than humans this made my heart happy. Thank you.

Same here! I like animals more than people tbh

 

[genoke]

I'm actually in a situation where I have like $20 000 in my bank account and due to my drug induced brain damage I can't go to work anymore.

So I'm just thinking about what I should do with my savings? A trip to Peru for getting N?

What would you do if you had 20k usd?

If you have a passport I'd go to Switzerland and get euthanized. It costs 10k. With travel it's the perfect amount of money to get that done.

Otherwise. At the end. When you're that depressed. Nothing is really gonna make you happy and doing that will only give you more anxiety because you're essentially killing yourself before you do it and not giving yourself a way out and that's not a good idea. I want to go out on my terms, in control, and it's my decision. Spending all your money youre forcing your decision and your anxiety will go crazy and i'd probably backtrack. If 20k doesn't matter. Like I said. If we could feel joy with 20k we wouldn't be in this position.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I only wish to not exist, if that could buy me a painless, guaranteed death like never waking again then I'd use it for that, it'd comfort me and bring me so much peace to be able to permanently escape from all the suffering in such a peaceful way.

 

[cait_sith]

I also have money left, I have no idea, I'm thinking about doing last trip to Japan but traveling is so exhausting and I can't walk great anymore, I have no interests or bucket list or anything anymore.

If you have a passport I'd go to Switzerland and get euthanized. It costs 10k. With travel it's the perfect amount of money to get that done.

Anyone with 10k can euthanise themselves in Switzerland?

 

[preoppostmortem]

i'd buy a nice outfit to die in. always struggled with body image, would at least like to feel a little better before i go. i'd try to split some between my sister, my grandma on my mom's side, and my friends. they tried to help me in their own capacity, don't think i was a very good brother/grandson/friend to them but i'd like to give them something in return for what they've done.

there's an animal shelter kinda close to where i live and i have a lot of good memories volunteering there, would give them some too. anything else… i dunno, give some to my therapist maybe lol? she's a wonderful person but she could only do so much for me. honestly would just like to give it to anyone who got me to hang in there a little longer

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Would spend it all to modify my car and then crash at very high speeds with no seatbelt on and the airbag fuse removed so that it won't activate, giving me a 99% chance of dying

A fellow speed junkie. It is an honour. I just came back from a very safe and legal 2 hour drive.
My answer would be nothing. I already have that money and I'm not doing anything with it.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Maybe I'd buy a car. Not sure which kind I'd want though and I don't mind my current car.

 

[Arahant]

A long term user of high doses of pregabalin and tramadol. Both prescribed by my psychiatrist as a last resort drugs to my treatment resistant depression/anxiety.

I can sleep for only max 3 hours at night, I've got crippling memory loss and some other things.. and it gets worse so I just have to ctb.

Btw thanks for asking!

Ah fuck, I am so sorry to hear that, friend.
I suffered insomnia too, and it's the worst.

Thing with psychotropic prescription drugs is, they can deplete nutrients like amino acids, vitamins and minerals, which can be near impossible to recover from without supplementation.
They can also cause hormonal imbalances, and your average quack psychiatrist simply do not know anything about this.

I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to tell me to go fuck myself for suggesting things, but my conscience forces me to at least inform.

- AlloPregnenolone might get you sleeping more, immediately. It is a natural GABA agonist, brain protecting, stress reducing hormone.
Available at idealabsdc.com/lab . That is a gray market site. Legal for them to ship, likely illegal to buy/receive most places. DHL express shipping clears customs almost anywhere. Can't tell you how I know.

- Custom amino acid repletion is the most promising I know of for chronic insomnia like yours.
Could be other things like B vitamin deficiencies too,
"Antiepileptic drugs are one example of a medication class with a higher risk of nutrient deficiencies, possibly reducing absorption or increasing the excretion of vitamins. "If patients are on long term Dilantin, Tegretol or Lyrica, they may need potential nutrient supplementation such as biotin, folic acid, vitamin D, or vitamin K," said Sandra Campbell, PharmD, and MSU Health Care Chief Pharmacist.

Nutrient depletion is an often overlooked side effect of some medications

Taking medication according to the prescribed dose, time, and frequency or medication adherence is an important part of managing overall health and chronic conditions.

pharmacy.msu.edu

I can ramble at length about treatment resistant depression too, but I would have to ask you more questions first.

Sorry if this aggravates you, but knowing insomnia first hand I simply can not shut up.

Ask me anything if I may clarify.

May you be free of all suffering, no matter what path you choose to get there.

 

[sugarb]

I'm actually in a situation where I have like $20 000 in my bank account and due to my drug induced brain damage I can't go to work anymore.

So I'm just thinking about what I should do with my savings? A trip to Peru for getting N?

What would you do if you had 20k usd?

Hire somebody to buy a shotgun and deliver it to my house lol

then maybe hire somebody to drive me 3 hours to a place I wanna CTB

 

[ramon]

I guess I'll be the only selfish person here... sorry for that, but here I go:

Right after I realized that the next best option for the rest of my life was to CTB I figured I could do a little string budget backpacking trip involving a good bunch of developing countries in the Americas.

Call it depression, early dementia, or plain disappointment; but as I got more involved with the idea of CTB, such adventurous trip became less and less interesting for me to the point of canceling it all out.

One of the reasons for quitting this potential trip of last joy was remembing how my abusive upbringing made me make choices that got me into undesirable situations with undesirable results that ruined other trips I made in the past.

I seeked help (theraphists, books, videos), but I just could not find a way to overcome my vulnerabilities. Vulnerabilities that can get you in big trouble should you stumble upon people in the streets, bus rides, boat rides, and hostels who pretend to be helpful, but just want a piece of you.

Having said that, should I win USD$20,000 playing lottery, since the cancelled trip required a budget of USD$10,000; I would definitely resume planning and doing my backpacking crusade, return home, and then CTB.

(Since I'm choosing to CTB with N2, my best place to do it is at my hometown)

 

[alivefornow]

Hoes and drugs for me and my homies

 

[finchywart]

funnily that's the amount i need to NOT ctb because of my situation.. so if anyone has a spare 20k they wanna donate before they die (jk.. kinda)

 

[Minsu]

Ah fuck, I am so sorry to hear that, friend.
I suffered insomnia too, and it's the worst.

Thing with psychotropic prescription drugs is, they can deplete nutrients like amino acids, vitamins and minerals, which can be near impossible to recover from without supplementation.
They can also cause hormonal imbalances, and your average quack psychiatrist simply do not know anything about this.

I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to tell me to go fuck myself for suggesting things, but my conscience forces me to at least inform.

- AlloPregnenolone might get you sleeping more, immediately. It is a natural GABA agonist, brain protecting, stress reducing hormone.
Available at idealabsdc.com/lab . That is a gray market site. Legal for them to ship, likely illegal to buy/receive most places. DHL express shipping clears customs almost anywhere. Can't tell you how I know.

- Custom amino acid repletion is the most promising I know of for chronic insomnia like yours.
Could be other things like B vitamin deficiencies too,
"Antiepileptic drugs are one example of a medication class with a higher risk of nutrient deficiencies, possibly reducing absorption or increasing the excretion of vitamins. "If patients are on long term Dilantin, Tegretol or Lyrica, they may need potential nutrient supplementation such as biotin, folic acid, vitamin D, or vitamin K," said Sandra Campbell, PharmD, and MSU Health Care Chief Pharmacist.

Nutrient depletion is an often overlooked side effect of some medications

Taking medication according to the prescribed dose, time, and frequency or medication adherence is an important part of managing overall health and chronic conditions.

pharmacy.msu.edu

I can ramble at length about treatment resistant depression too, but I would have to ask you more questions first.

Sorry if this aggravates you, but knowing insomnia first hand I simply can not shut up.

Ask me anything if I may clarify.

May you be free of all suffering, no matter what path you choose to get there.

Thank you so much. I'll buy the stuff definitely and will try to follow the guide what the pharmacist said..

And just ask questions regarding my resistant depression, just go ahead!

If you have a passport I'd go to Switzerland and get euthanized. It costs 10k. With travel it's the perfect amount of money to get that done.

Otherwise. At the end. When you're that depressed. Nothing is really gonna make you happy and doing that will only give you more anxiety because you're essentially killing yourself before you do it and not giving yourself a way out and that's not a good idea. I want to go out on my terms, in control, and it's my decision. Spending all your money youre forcing your decision and your anxiety will go crazy and i'd probably backtrack. If 20k doesn't matter. Like I said. If we could feel joy with 20k we wouldn't be in this position.

But I don't know if I match the conditions. I'm pretty young snd don't have any physical illness like cancer or something. Otherwise I would definitely go there

 

[Arahant]

And just ask questions regarding my resistant depression, just go ahead!

All right.. Well, first off, if trying to replete B vitamins and folate, you need a B complex along with magnesium and likely potassium too.
My favorite company with best ingredients and formulations is objectivenutrients. Others can work too, they are just best imo.

About treatment resistant depression:
1) When did it start?
2) Does any events make it more or less intense?
3) Do you know the number of adverse childhood experiences you have had (ACEs); in other words, can trauma or neglect be a cause?
Number and yes or no can suffice to answer if too personal, or simply skip answering.
4) Did it gradually get worse over a period of time?
5) What medications, therapy forms and perhaps lifestyle changes have been attempted?
6) Do any foods make it worse?
7) Any background with restrictive dieting, caloric deficit, malnutrition, over exercising?
8) Any other health issues, physical or mental?

I have no right to know any of this, only you decide what you share.
I know it can be a lot for an insomniac to read through and answer, so no worries if you don't want to or postpone it.

 

[Minsu]

All right.. Well, first off, if trying to replete B vitamins and folate, you need a B complex along with magnesium and likely potassium too.
My favorite company with best ingredients and formulations is objectivenutrients. Others can work too, they are just best imo.

About treatment resistant depression:
1) When did it start?
2) Does any events make it more or less intense?
3) Do you know the number of adverse childhood experiences you have had (ACEs); in other words, can trauma or neglect be a cause?
Number and yes or no can suffice to answer if too personal, or simply skip answering.
4) Did it gradually get worse over a period of time?
5) What medications, therapy forms and perhaps lifestyle changes have been attempted?
6) Do any foods make it worse?
7) Any background with restrictive dieting, caloric deficit, malnutrition, over exercising?
8) Any other health issues, physical or mental?

I have no right to know any of this, only you decide what you share.
I know it can be a lot for an insomniac to read through and answer, so no worries if you don't want to or postpone it.

I'll answer you a bit later.. you know too many questions

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I would probably buy drugs

KINDRED JUNKIE SPIRITS TAP IN. <3