Discussion What would you do if you saw a loved one on this website?

[Ratherbeskinny]

What would you do if you saw a loved one (SO, family, a friend or just about anyone you know in person) on this website, saying they want to die or saying they're going to kill themselves? Would you accept it? Talk about it with them? Something else?

 

[LonelyLight]

What would you do if you saw a loved one (SO, family, a friend or just about anyone you know in person) on this website, saying they want to die or saying they're going to kill themselves? Would you accept it? Talk about it with them? Something else?

I'd talk about it with them, I don't think I could sit back and ignore it, which I guess is hypocritical but normal if it's someone you really care for.
What would you do OP?

 

[Cookiedough8956]

They might get really annoyed or angry with me..but i will most def talk about it with them.

 

[Ratherbeskinny]

I'd talk about it with them, I don't think I could sit back and ignore it, which I guess is hypocritical but normal if it's someone you really care for.
What would you do OP?

I would probably do the exact same thing. I'd rather expose myself so I can talk about it with them (even though it may not "save" them) then to just sit back and let it all happen.

 

[noctiva]

I'd talk with them, swap methods and give advice. I'm pro-choice and that means accepting not just my own death (which is actually easy to accept) but also give that right to others (which is harder to accept, I love them and I want to preserve them, both for my happiness and, as delusional me believes, also for theirs). I would offer different solutions as well, especially if it is mental health problems that can be treated. However, if treatment of psychological and physical conditions has failed them completely, I'll be there for them. I'd love it if someone was there for me, now. I think it would be easier to walk this path with a beloved human being by your side. Not saying the weird 'we die together hand in hand', but also just to discuss methods, have someone to exchange ideas with, exchange how we're holding up, what our date is, etc. As people on this site here are already courageously doing. I have made the mistake to talk to a friend of mine about my wish to CtB, she has two attempts herself and she was talking to me 2 years ago during a really tough time that she is preparing and thinking of dying. She betrayed my trust (no real consequences, I didn't tell anything about time date or reason). But yes, it would be nice to see a familiar face here.

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

I would cry knowing they hurt like me. But be happy for them to have found a place to talk and express themselves.

 

[noctiva]

I would cry knowing they hurt like me. But be happy for them to have found a place to talk and express themselves.

I should have said that, this is beautiful and incredibly well expressed. Thank you for sharing this!

 

[WhiteDespair]

I would keep prodding them about bus tickets until they got it. It would be up to them to discuss it.

 

[Jean4]

If I had a loved one, I wouldn't be CTB.

 

[BrokenAngel8]

I would be shook. I would pretend I didn't know them. I would react to their posts, and generally being kind amd resourceful as I would to anyone else, but unless this person open up to me in person, I wouldn't unravel their cover nor mine. If this were their safe space, I wouldn't take it away from them. It's their choice, and if anything, I'm glad they were here to find a proper safe space and resources they would need.

 

[Santiago]

I would do everything in my power to get them off this site and help them. To me this website equals suicidal thoughts so anyone who comes here is struggling. My main concern would then be to try helping them with their struggle.

 

[a_strange_day]

Hard to answer honestly. I don't know, It would depend on the context, the person. The first thing I would do is read all of her/his posts to try to better understand the situation before making any move. Then unless the person is clearly in a state of emotional distress I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do anything since that's what I'd like people to do if things were reversed. But again it's hard to answer because I certainly wouldn't react the same if it's a friend or if it's my GF. Lets hope it never happens.

 

[Ratherbeskinny]

If I had a loved one, I wouldn't be CTB.

Do you think it's selfish when others do (want to) ctb while having one or more loved ones? Not trying to pick a fight or anything, I'm genuinely interested and curious.

 

[trynacbt]

Do you think it's selfish when others do (want to) ctb while having one or more loved ones? Not trying to pick a fight or anything, I'm genuinely interested and curious.

As someone who lost her mother to suicide, I never blamed her or was angry. I only felt compassionate towards her for her pain, surprise and regret in not having seen it coming or doing more to help. But I never thought what she did was selfish. My mother was anything but.

 

[WilliamKline]

I have a loved one - not on this website - whom I've known to be suicidal for at least 6 years. I have had heart-to-hearts and she knows that I fully understand her suffering and that if she wants to end it, I'll understand and won't love her any less for it or feel it was a selfish act. I do think only a person who's been through similar circumstances would understand though.

 

[WhiteDespair]

As someone who lost her mother to suicide, I never blamed her or was angry. I only felt compassionate towards her for her pain, surprise and regret in not having seen it coming or doing more to help. But I never thought what she did was selfish. My mother was anything but.

It took me a decade to understand my mother and her CtB. Best day of my life at the time. Now it's more complex.

CtB is an inherently selfish act from a variety of viewpoints, each conflicting and interacting with each other. It would be possible to analyze that.