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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

A Simple Kind of Man
Sep 19, 2023
2,145
Before it can be identified, I need rest, which I can only get through financial freedom, so I guess that's step one.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Enlightened
May 10, 2025
1,709
nothing, I am already done
 
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I

itsgone2

Specialist
Sep 21, 2025
323
Who even knows. I was in constant meetings yesterday at work. I somehow survived and for some reason at the end of the day I sort of felt normal. I stopped for some groceries. Thought to myself, hey maybe I can get through this. Actually slept a little. Now? I'm right back in it. Thinking I should attempt again later. What's the point of all this? I hate it. I hate this reality.
 
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Dark Moon

Dark Moon

Elementalist
Sep 21, 2022
857
I don't think there's anything, maybe a girlfriend and a decent job but I know it's not happening.
 
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GummyBear!>.<

GummyBear!>.<

Barely alive ^^;
Sep 27, 2025
6
One gazillion dollars and having friends that actually like me
 
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R-7

R-7

iHeartTomoko
Sep 30, 2025
37
Love and purpose.

Simple as that.
 
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K

Kurwenal

Enden sah ich die Welt.
Apr 9, 2025
144
I'd like to say things like: being able to have a job (ideally a meaningful one), having financial independence, having people whom I can trust, and so on. There are potentially lots of things that could be changed to make my life worth living, I suppose.

Ultimately, however, the real answer is that I would have to not be me. The only thing to make my life worth living would be that it not be my life. A magical genie could grant all my superficial wishes, but if I am still myself at my core, my life can't really be worth living. Self-sabotage is seemingly one thing I'm exceedingly good at. So if I were thrown into a perfect life situation, I'd manage to ruin it by virtue of being myself. The only thing that could make my life worth living is fundamentally changing my very essence, at which point, it's not my life that's been made worth living, it's the life of a better person who deserves to live in the first place.
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,608
1) Pain free, no more 24/7 chronic pain

2) Have friends to go out to dinner with

3) live in a tropical paradise

Walter
 
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cemeteryismyhome

cemeteryismyhome

Elementalist
Mar 15, 2025
846
nothing
 
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FoxSauce

FoxSauce

Emotionally unstable like an IKEA table
Aug 23, 2024
812
To actually be something, be worth something, im not sure.

For the world to be kinder but thats obviously wishful thinking..
 
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suicidal_tendencies

suicidal_tendencies

Suicide is a word that resonates within me...
Mar 17, 2025
55
a life companion and not having suicidal thoughts anymore🥲
 
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shampoo sniffer

shampoo sniffer

Lather rinse repeat
Aug 10, 2025
180
Lots of money

A soulmate
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,810
I'd have to be a completely different person. My psychology is incompatible with a happy life. In another time, I think I would have given myself to a cause and died that way.

We all like to talk about the idealism of people who do that - who go out of their way to sacrifice themselves for others. I've come to look at it the other way around. I ask myself, "Why did they act as if their life didn't matter to them?". That's the question that gets to the heart of the matter, in my opinion. If relationships are painful for you, if life consists mostly of drudgery and pain, self-sacrifice loses meaning - because what are you losing at that point? Regarding the gurus and holy men society has idealized in the past, the profound, unrelenting self-abnegation of asceticism just becomes a way to transform your suffering into something that seems meaningful.

I am 32, and I haven't been happy to be here since I was a small child. Of course, I didn't have the words for it then. I just remember the palpable sense of wrongness when I thought about myself in relation to others.

Some percentage of people are born every day who, by their temperament or by life circumstances, just will not fall within the normal no matter how hard they may try to fit in.

And no matter how much you can try to make peace with being this way, you are still a social animal at the end of the day. No amount of meditation, enjoying the beauty of nature, or experiencing the sense pleasures of life is going to make up for that. We are hardwired to feel emotional pain when we're ostracized or isolated.

I need to die in a war, or go save people from disease only to succumb myself or become a nun and live out the rest of my life in a convent. There is nothing for me here in normal life. I will not subject myself to a loveless marriage or a fruitless career or a string of transactional "friendships" where people extract what they want from me and then cast me aside.

After my parents die, who will actually give a fuck about my life? I certainly won't. If I have to suffer, I would at least hope to be useful. We'll see if I have any luck with that.
 
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