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S

spacegirl

Member
Apr 8, 2022
9
a healthy and stable romantic relationship, no more mental illness, not having to be a slave to capitalism
 
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Astronauta

Astronauta

Student
Aug 9, 2022
104
Minha saúde de volta. E isso não é possível .
 
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BRAINWORMS

BRAINWORMS

dust to dust
Jul 20, 2020
140
Obliterating OCD and my insatiable need to be liked.
 
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betternever2havbeen

Enlightened
Jun 19, 2022
1,032
This is a question I think about all the time. My life so far has been a rollercoaster, with dizzying highs and the lowest of lows and everything in between. No matter how high or low I get, or anywhere in between, I always feel like I don't want to be there. Everything could be going right for me, and my brain will still find a way to make me hate it.

Are you guys the same? Could you think of anything that would make you want to stay in this world?
I've not had too many highs lol, but I know what you mean cos I doubt I could handle them anyway. The best time I've ever had is going to concerts but the depression I get the next day is rough, it's like coming down from a drug (I imagine) and just makes me feel worse cos I always wanted to be a performer but don't have the talent and it's just a reminder the next day of how I'm a nobody and it's just back to my depressing life.

I wouldn't be surprised if I have BPD as I can't handle any of my emotions very well. Most of the highs just make me embarrassed now like when I met a famous guy out of a band at a meet and greet I thought it was the best thing ever and now I look back and just cringe cos it was awkward and now I just think I embarrassed myself. I'd rather not do things now than be my socially awkward self and cringe later over it.

And yeh I will always struggle with this brain I have and be 10x more sensitive than the average person so I don't think I ever had a chance really, just can't deal.
 
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freedompass

freedompass

Warlock
Jan 27, 2021
768
Life is a really shitty movie you're not allowed to walk out of. What would make me want to live? Nothing…
 
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BittersweetSymphony

Member
Dec 1, 2021
32
Obliterating OCD and my insatiable need to be liked.

I feel ya. Both problems I deal with too. The OCD is especially annoying. I'm afraid of the number that comes between 12 and 14 lol. If I see it, I have to go through a little ritual to ward it off. If I'm reading a book and notice that number or anything that adds up to that number, I have to go back and re-read the page before, re-read the bad page, and the page right after it without stopping. If I'm microwaving food, I have to stop the microwave, clear the timer, go back to one second before it showed up, start it again and make sure to watch the timer as it ticks down to one second after it. What a fucking mess lol.
 
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Trifecta

Member
Aug 27, 2022
23
Nothing short of turning back the clock would help at this point.
 
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OnlyWinOnce

OnlyWinOnce

Member
Mar 19, 2022
27
A button I could press to make me completely forget everything about a particular memory, or at the very least emotional attachment to it. My life would make no sense, but hey at least I don't have to remember THAT person exists or THAT happened to me. I get there's a lot of good that comes from those experiences too, and a lot of growth but for me the pain that certain memories have caused me is immeasurable and it never goes away.
Shit dude, I was thinking this exact same thing. Some way to just Thanos snap all of my bad experiences would be so handy. At least then I can forget all the people I've disappointed.
 
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S

Sleepykitty

Member
May 25, 2022
7
Don't know. Selling my house. To be living out of my car and trying to work my way across the country for a while to see if I can find something. If not, at least I can look at my fam and say "you can't say I didn't try." Haha really its partially cuz I cannot afford to stay in my home. I don't mind working, used to build scaffold. But other than that I've never been able to keep work longer than a few months, somethings always been wrong with my brain. But to everyone else its "get over it. You're normal. Grow up." Ectect.

Ive said since i can remember this world isn't mine. I've been amused but I don't know what happy feels like. I imagine a full feeling with happiness... I'm just empty. I look at my nephews and still think theyd be better off if the world imploded.
Maybe I'll break down in the middle of the woods and run out of supplies and just starve to death. Best thing for everyone... except my cats... when my cats have left me THEN insert stranded senerio. Haha
 
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