What would it take to make you accept life?

[BittersweetSymphony]

This is a question I think about all the time. My life so far has been a rollercoaster, with dizzying highs and the lowest of lows and everything in between. No matter how high or low I get, or anywhere in between, I always feel like I don't want to be there. Everything could be going right for me, and my brain will still find a way to make me hate it.

Are you guys the same? Could you think of anything that would make you want to stay in this world?

 

[Celerity]

I honestly don't know. Once, I had everything I had worked for, and it still wasn't enough. It was a dark day when I realized that. Looking back, part of the problem was that I had sought the wrong things. I overestimated how much meeting certain goals or having certain experiences would fulfill me, but now I have come to understand that contentment is extremely fleeting. Life is a constant struggle, a morass of competing desires.

If I had to take a stab at it, I would appreciate having a better job. I'm not looking for the stuff of movies that's really rewarding and prestigious. I just want something I don't hate that makes decent money. When I daydream and think about my past infatuations, I long for love. The purity of my feelings toward the woman who spurned me take me aback even now. If it were someone else, I would find the way I loved her almost quaint. It was a very unsophisticated and straightforward puppy love. I don't think I will ever feel that again toward someone, even her if she were to return to me, but something like it would be more than alright.

 

[yabuki77]

A button I could press to make me completely forget everything about a particular memory, or at the very least emotional attachment to it. My life would make no sense, but hey at least I don't have to remember THAT person exists or THAT happened to me. I get there's a lot of good that comes from those experiences too, and a lot of growth but for me the pain that certain memories have caused me is immeasurable and it never goes away.

 

[jodes2]

I'm the same except I might stay for a few more decades. Unsure. Defo want to do it though and the only thing which could change my mind is having doctors that I know would pull out every stop to reduce my suffering. But it's a push because they still only have so many answers

Edit I forgot I need a solution to doing nothing all day every day but I suppose doctors etc should be responsible for helping me to actually live a proper fulfilling life, with the help of therapists and occupational therapists etc

 

[Euthanza]

How could life be good without love.

Whenever wherever there's L.O.V.E for Legal Options of Voluntary Euthanasia then I think life overall will be much better.

 

[Muerte negra]

Supongo que no es cuestión de $$$, ni cuestión de amor , simplemente tenemos un defecto en nuestro cerebro que nos impide ser felices ... Así lo tuviéramos todo, lo disfrutaríamos mucho, pero con el tiempo estaríamos metidos en la misma mierda emocional en la que nos encontramos ahora !!!

 

[Death is my goal]

can't think of any, and i don't want to accept it.. I'll never forget the pain and put it behind me like nothing happened.

 

[BittersweetSymphony]

I honestly don't know. Once, I had everything I had worked for, and it still wasn't enough. It was a dark day when I realized that. Looking back, part of the problem was that I had sought the wrong things. I overestimated how much meeting certain goals or having certain experiences would fulfill me, but now I have come to understand that contentment is extremely fleeting. Life is a constant struggle, a morass of competing desires.

If I had to take a stab at it, I would appreciate having a better job. I'm not looking for the stuff of movies that's really rewarding and prestigious. I just want something I don't hate that makes decent money. When I daydream and think about my past infatuations, I long for love. The purity of my feelings toward the woman who spurned me take me aback even now. If it were someone else, I would find the way I loved her almost quaint. It was a very unsophisticated and straightforward puppy love. I don't think I will ever feel that again toward someone, even her if she were to return to me, but something like it would be more than alright.

I absolutely know the feeling. What would be your dream job? What would you do if you could get paid for doing nothing besides the thing you love? I would be a historian or archeologist. Someone who got to travel the world and go to ancient places that I had only read about in books. Quite literally the opposite of my life now, where I work from home doing a job I hate lol.

A button I could press to make me completely forget everything about a particular memory, or at the very least emotional attachment to it. My life would make no sense, but hey at least I don't have to remember THAT person exists or THAT happened to me. I get there's a lot of good that comes from those experiences too, and a lot of growth but for me the pain that certain memories have caused me is immeasurable and it never goes away.

I have no idea what you're going through, but I'm sorry that person happened to you. If you ever need anything, just let me know. I'll do whatever I can to help.

 

[chloramine]

I don't know. It depends on what exactly you mean by that too? If you mean not dying then that could be either things getting much better, or much worse. Obviously if things get better then being alive isn't a big deal or something to try to desperately stop. But, if things get bad enough, I could see myself not dying because I became so resigned to pain and suffering that there was nothing else. That's actually why I've never felt like dying was giving up. To me death is an attempt to change things for the better- even if the method isn't approved by many people. Truly giving up would be where there isn't even a point in trying to make it stop.

 

[BittersweetSymphony]

can't think of any, and i don't want to accept it.. I'll never forget the pain and put it behind me like nothing happened.

Nor should you. Life at its finest is a cruel and miserable cluster fuck. I have no idea what you went through, but I understand your feelings. Wishing you the best, whatever that means to you.

 

[Rounded Agony]

If we're talking magical impossible historical rewrite-type things?
1) not having been exposed to the damaging behaviours of my parents during my youth, which somehow seem to fuck up my brain more as time goes on
2) not losing my best friend to suicide
3) not developing a medical condition which threatens to return any given day and makes the basic, unavoidable act of defecation unbelievably terror-inducing
4) not being completely unexpectedly abandoned by a partner with whom I thought I was going to be for the foreseeable future
5) not being thrust into a pandemic that was by many accounts either avoidable, or could have been managed far, far better

If we're talking change of current life circumstances, likely or not? Might not be enough now, but...
1) living in a place that has the best of both the human and natural worlds; some kind of low density, hyper-green city where there is access to the quality of life that urban living brings (proximity to arts, healthcare, etc.), but actually a sense of community as well as connection to the physical land
1b) a fucking supportive community, constellation of friends; I am blisteringly isolated and feel like some people might be sad if I died but that it wouldn't matter functionally (weird)
1c) a partner, maybe? In the last few months I feel like I might not be able to function in a relationship at this point but who the hell knows
2) doing something that makes me feel like my existence and suffering have some purpose; teaching, mentoring, creating art for people and not profit, etc.
3) some kind of magic solution to my physical and mental health problems? I dunno I'm sure at some point humans will figure out most of these kinds of things so long as we don't render our own fucking planet uninhabitable or sterilize ourselves

Of course that's just all for tricking my brain into producing enough happy chemicals to make me forget that we are a savage species capable of immense evil which apparently never learns from its mistakes, and that existence itself seems to have cruelly been fashioned with misery not merely as an essential component, but the one to which everything defaults unless we put up a constant, full scale effort to avoid. Sigh.

That was a productive exercise. Thanks for starting this thread and giving me the opportunity to lay all that out.

 

[jodes2]

If we're talking magical impossible historical rewrite-type things?
1) not having been exposed to the damaging behaviours of my parents during my youth, which somehow seem to fuck up my brain more as time goes on
2) not losing my best friend to suicide
3) not developing a medical condition which threatens to return any given day and makes the basic, unavoidable act of defecation unbelievably terror-inducing
4) not being completely unexpectedly abandoned by a partner with whom I thought I was going to be for the foreseeable future
5) not being thrust into a pandemic that was by many accounts either avoidable, or could have been managed far, far better

If we're talking change of current life circumstances, likely or not? Might not be enough now, but...
1) living in a place that has the best of both the human and natural worlds; some kind of low density, hyper-green city where there is access to the quality of life that urban living brings (proximity to arts, healthcare, etc.), but actually a sense of community as well as connection to the physical land
1b) a fucking supportive community, constellation of friends; I am blisteringly isolated and feel like some people might be sad if I died but that it wouldn't matter functionally (weird)
1c) a partner, maybe? In the last few months I feel like I might not be able to function in a relationship at this point but who the hell knows
2) doing something that makes me feel like my existence and suffering have some purpose; teaching, mentoring, creating art for people and not profit, etc.
3) some kind of magic solution to my physical and mental health problems? I dunno I'm sure at some point humans will figure out most of these kinds of things so long as we don't render our own fucking planet uninhabitable or sterilize ourselves

Of course that's just all for tricking my brain into producing enough happy chemicals to make me forget that we are a savage species capable of immense evil which apparently never learns from its mistakes, and that existence itself seems to have cruelly been fashioned with misery not merely as an essential component, but the one to which everything defaults unless we put up a constant, full scale effort to avoid. Sigh.

That was a productive exercise. Thanks for starting this thread and giving me the opportunity to lay all that out.

Nice post. It resonates

 

[BittersweetSymphony]

If we're talking magical impossible historical rewrite-type things?
1) not having been exposed to the damaging behaviours of my parents during my youth, which somehow seem to fuck up my brain more as time goes on
2) not losing my best friend to suicide
3) not developing a medical condition which threatens to return any given day and makes the basic, unavoidable act of defecation unbelievably terror-inducing
4) not being completely unexpectedly abandoned by a partner with whom I thought I was going to be for the foreseeable future
5) not being thrust into a pandemic that was by many accounts either avoidable, or could have been managed far, far better

If we're talking change of current life circumstances, likely or not? Might not be enough now, but...
1) living in a place that has the best of both the human and natural worlds; some kind of low density, hyper-green city where there is access to the quality of life that urban living brings (proximity to arts, healthcare, etc.), but actually a sense of community as well as connection to the physical land
1b) a fucking supportive community, constellation of friends; I am blisteringly isolated and feel like some people might be sad if I died but that it wouldn't matter functionally (weird)
1c) a partner, maybe? In the last few months I feel like I might not be able to function in a relationship at this point but who the hell knows
2) doing something that makes me feel like my existence and suffering have some purpose; teaching, mentoring, creating art for people and not profit, etc.
3) some kind of magic solution to my physical and mental health problems? I dunno I'm sure at some point humans will figure out most of these kinds of things so long as we don't render our own fucking planet uninhabitable or sterilize ourselves

Of course that's just all for tricking my brain into producing enough happy chemicals to make me forget that we are a savage species capable of immense evil which apparently never learns from its mistakes, and that existence itself seems to have cruelly been fashioned with misery not merely as an essential component, but the one to which everything defaults unless we put up a constant, full scale effort to avoid. Sigh.

That was a productive exercise. Thanks for starting this thread and giving me the opportunity to lay all that out.

I totally relate to the parent thing. Mine were a couple of narcissistic fucks who seemed to take pleasure in building me and my siblings up just high enough to make it hurt when they slammed us back to the ground.

The rest of your post, I can only vaguely relate to or not at all. I've honestly never had anyone close to me die, and I can't imagine having to deal with a chronic physical condition in addition to everything else. Wishing you the best! Feel free to hit me up any time you want to vent.

 

[rainysummer]

being born as a different person and/or the past changing

 

[Hollowillow]

This is a question I think about all the time. My life so far has been a rollercoaster, with dizzying highs and the lowest of lows and everything in between. No matter how high or low I get, or anywhere in between, I always feel like I don't want to be there. Everything could be going right for me, and my brain will still find a way to make me hate it.

Are you guys the same? Could you think of anything that would make you want to stay in this world?

I locked myself to a psych ward to flee the fumes in my home. I got better after a week but didn't feel eager to save my life & embrace my dreams. Psy staff were mean & I gladly returned in my poison. Trying to find solutions but being humiliated as an insane liar is getting old. I felt too much pain. Grief. Even a trip to japan would feel meh. I want to Hang there though. Nice forest near Mont fuji

How could life be good without love.

Whenever wherever there's L.O.V.E for Legal Options of Voluntary Euthanasia then I think life overall will be much better.

I went from rolling my eyes to utter love & admiration in 2 seconds you sir are a genius this species doesn't deserve you
T

I don't know. It depends on what exactly you mean by that too? If you mean not dying then that could be either things getting much better, or much worse. Obviously if things get better then being alive isn't a big deal or something to try to desperately stop. But, if things get bad enough, I could see myself not dying because I became so resigned to pain and suffering that there was nothing else. That's actually why I've never felt like dying was giving up. To me death is an attempt to change things for the better- even if the method isn't approved by many people. Truly giving up would be where there isn't even a point in trying to make it stop.

This post should be in a sticky to explain the positive of this site. I spent 22 years bedridden waiting for death. At least i could watch anime but now my eyes hurt

mierda emocional

I understood that part. I wish my phone had a button to translate the rest... Why not speak english, I know you understand it. Harder to write than read? But if we can't read you at all it's worse than practicing imperfect english...? Mine sure is doomed to be messy. I'm a french canadian

 

[y'ffre]

Feeling happy and peaceful most of the time. Yeah so simple (!)

 

[Hollowillow]

I'd love slices of murder, like a vengeful cake. Of all the people who called me insane when I asked help fir physical pain, especially if they knew I felt truly hurt. Pedos, pharma...

 

[hamvil]

Not much i fear. I had a good life until I fucked it up. Maybe going to the point in time when I made THE biggest error in my life, but I am not even sure if that would fix anything, maybe after a while I would make the same mistake again.

No, I am too tired to accept life. I did the little bit I could do. I made my little insignificat contribution to this world. Nobody except my poor wife will miss me or will cry for me. I just would like to find peace and finally rest.

 

[Hangnail]

If I could revert myself back to you I looked before. A disfiguring surgery ruined my life.

 

[ojinzo]

Money

 

[FuneralCry]

I could never accept life. I see existence as being so horrifying and unnecessary. The amount of cruelty that exists in this world is enough to make me want to leave. I prefer the sound of non existence to any kind of life anyway. Nothing could ever make me want to live and enduring life doesn't interest me.

 

[Celerity]

I absolutely know the feeling. What would be your dream job? What would you do if you could get paid for doing nothing besides the thing you love? I would be a historian or archeologist. Someone who got to travel the world and go to ancient places that I had only read about in books. Quite literally the opposite of my life now, where I work from home doing a job I hate lol.

I have no idea what you're going through, but I'm sorry that person happened to you. If you ever need anything, just let me know. I'll do whatever I can to help.

What's sad is that I don't know what my dream job would be anymore. If I were a better writer, I'd say a novelist.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Enough money to enjoy life freely without working…

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

This is a question I think about all the time. My life so far has been a rollercoaster, with dizzying highs and the lowest of lows and everything in between. No matter how high or low I get, or anywhere in between, I always feel like I don't want to be there. Everything could be going right for me, and my brain will still find a way to make me hate it.

Are you guys the same? Could you think of anything that would make you want to stay in this world?

New spine, new heart, new mind and some friends

 

[outrider567]

This is a question I think about all the time. My life so far has been a rollercoaster, with dizzying highs and the lowest of lows and everything in between. No matter how high or low I get, or anywhere in between, I always feel like I don't want to be there. Everything could be going right for me, and my brain will still find a way to make me hate it.

Are you guys the same? Could you think of anything that would make you want to stay in this world?

No--girlfriend of 35 years still deceased, and I'm still dead inside

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

Literally just money. Not even that much money like 3-500 dollars more a month

 

[Hollowman]

A fully functional brain

 

[PrisonBreak]

Good health.

 

[Disappointered]

I think if I'd been properly raised/mentored by normal role models and I had a set of balls (or a different brain) everything would have turned out okay. But after what I had to do in desperation to try to compensate for being a weak outcast and then failing in my last ditch attempt to be an adult I don't think there's anything that could make living enjoyable anymore.

 

[BittersweetSymphony]

No--girlfriend of 35 years still deceased, and I'm still dead inside

I'm so sorry for your loss my friend. I couldn't imagine what it's like to build a relationship over that amount of time with someone and then lose them. My longest relationship was 18 months, and when it ended, all I wanted to do was die. I'm not a big believer in a "next life," but I hope if there is one that you'll be reunited.