Divine Trinity

Divine Trinity

Pugna Vigil
Mar 20, 2019
310
$5 million in cash and a visas.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
If I could make jokes like Seinfeld, or be a social guy, if I had the will and heart to live and experience life....

Or 1 million USD would do the job too, tax free or even paying taxes


If I had my intelligence back so I could do my job without fear of not doing it or forgetting....
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
A time machine/memory erasure/ (possibly) winning the lottery
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I would need to go back in time and only if I knew what I know now. Enough money, happy relationships. Erasing of sad memories.
 
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Faulisdead

Faulisdead

Member
Feb 9, 2019
70
If my abusive ex-girlfriend stopped harassing me, my family, and my friends. It's a nightmare, an effin' nightmare. I cannot handle it. My only chance is to try the courts. It's hard when you've been beaten down so much and are afraid for your life.
 
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Nobodysfault

Nobodysfault

"If my soul be lost, its nobodys fault but mine"
Mar 21, 2019
119
I think about it a lot, i dont want to die and i think this world is hard but worth living in. Sadly, i can not live due to some reason that prevent me from being who i really am or function as little as a person should. Since what i really desire is to live I've been trying to think what could've help me stay here and live a full and normal life.
At first i had a few plans that couldve work and get me back on track but they failed and things got WAY worse. In my current situation im well aware that im doomed and have no way of getting better so i keep wishing for a combination of two unrealistic things.
I do that in some sort of hallucinatory way, pretty much like when someone is falling to his death and on his way down when he knows there is nothing he can do he wishes for a miracle.
There are things i wish for that are 100% necessary and the only way for me to stay alive, and a few that are extras, so these are the crucial requests:
  1. A different body and face (complicated subject)
  2. Go back in time to a way younger age(not in a way of things used to be good and i want to relive them..)
 
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marcusuk63

marcusuk63

CTB
Mar 24, 2019
1,735
Armageddon :devil:
 
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TheFinalCountdown

TheFinalCountdown

Student
Mar 25, 2019
136
My own place to live and to have the woman I love
 
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VikingWinger

VikingWinger

Lost soul
Mar 26, 2019
123
Becoming a successful author, and get my book published would ease me suicidal thoughts. A lot.
 
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J

JWL

Arcanist
Jan 15, 2019
460
The small positive differences that we make are essentially insignificant and do not alter human nature.

Well, we're not living in caves anymore, are we? So our "essentially insignificant' positive differences seem to have done us not too badly at all.
 
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J

JWL

Arcanist
Jan 15, 2019
460
I think the danger with us ctb-ers is that we project our misery, gloom and doom onto a biased view of the world which isn't how it actually is.

The world is what it is and it is an incredible school of life.

The fact that WE cannot, for our various reasons, feel able to participate any longer is our thing.

Don't create the world out of your own image. It's very self-serving.
Becoming a successful author, and get my book published would ease me suicidal thoughts. A lot.

If we all wrote our life stories/autobiographies, mass depressions and suicides across the world could follow...:smiling:
 
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I am ___________

I am ___________

Hated, Unloved by the world and everything in it.
Jan 3, 2019
134
I think the danger with us ctb-ers is that we project our misery, gloom and doom onto a biased view of the world which isn't how it actually is.

The world is what it is and it is an incredible school of life.

The fact that WE cannot, for our various reasons, feel able to participate any longer is our thing.

Don't create the world out of your own image. It's very self-serving.


If we all wrote our life stories/autobiographies, mass depressions and suicides across the world could follow...:smiling:

Good, it would expose the ugliness kept hidden in this world. They would be forced to fix these problems or face the wrath of the people.
I know in france, they literally take the corrupt and cut their heads of with a guillotine. Maybe the rest of the world should follow their example.
 
Deadgirl

Deadgirl

Game Over
Mar 31, 2019
215
Absolutely nothing to be honest. My life is beyond redemption.
 
Nanako

Nanako

Experienced
Dec 24, 2018
286
My condition has no cure and a year from now I'll be super fucked beyond repair, so... I'd need a miracle.
 
S

spanishguy22

Enlightened
Apr 9, 2019
1,003
tbh the stars aligned, i got extremely unlucky in early life and i doubt i can handle living in this subpar manner much longer
 
Rose190021

Rose190021

Rosie
Dec 13, 2018
71
If I could go back in time and erase the memories, grow up again happy and loved, make good choices, and live differently.
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,685
It take many things to change my mind. To start things off, while I'm not all about being wealthy and stuff, I do wish that I don't have as much financial struggles as I do in present day (If I went back in time, I would have delayed or not gone to college, thus not accumulating student loan debt) and being able to have an easier time without having to micro-manage every penny. Then, I'd wished I never had social anxiety, Aspergers, or other problems that hinder my ability to socialize with others, or even get a girlfriend like most people do (it doesn't mean that I would get into a relationship, but it is sad that what most people take for granted, I struggle or don't even get). Then of course, being able to fulfill my music/piano related dreams and goals (includes being able to play by ear -- not many people can do that let alone do it well, playing very advanced repertoire (like some of music students at high end music schools and conservatories around the world), and in general pursue my hobbies successfully, on my own terms.

In addition to these main things, I guess the lack of being able to experience certain things, particularly things that most people are able to (or take for granted even), really depresses me. One such example is sexual intercourse. Mind you, it's not so much the label of 'virgin' that bothers me most (yes it does bother me still- but not as much as people think), but rather the fact that I'll NEVER know what sexual intercourse feels like since I never experienced it! There are other examples, but this is one such example. Also, I don't really have that much of an obsession with sex, just the obsession of the lack of experience/knowledge of what sex feels like.

With all that said, there will still be a point where I'll ctb, mainly because as a human being, one cannot simply avoid growing old and getting ill as one ages, it is a natural decline. Thus, I would still rather go before my body (and mind) fails me, leading me to a low quality of life.
 
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housecat

housecat

Member
Apr 5, 2019
86
JWL, why wouldn't someone want a world that has less suffering and abuse? Humanity has amazing potential, but I am also not entirely convinced that moving out of caves has really made us better in any way. As you say, any changes are self-serving. Everything is selfish, but humans seem to be an extreme example that relishes in the suffering of others and the knowing destruction of the world for their individual gain. I would like to hope we can do better, but I don't think our nature can be fixed. You've stated that I should aim to change it, but you've also stated that I should not. I think you're trolling me. I don't really get why.
 
heaterxo

heaterxo

Member
Aug 31, 2018
7
I'd love to say that time would help, but it hasn't helped. It's not even about not doing it anymore, just when or how. I will always deny these thoughts to anyone who asked.
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
There is too much that needs to change and im too far gone. All I can think of is going back in time and undoing practially my whole life or just having my memory totally wiped.
 
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J

JWL

Arcanist
Jan 15, 2019
460
JWL, why wouldn't someone want a world that has less suffering and abuse? Humanity has amazing potential, but I am also not entirely convinced that moving out of caves has really made us better in any way. As you say, any changes are self-serving. Everything is selfish, but humans seem to be an extreme example that relishes in the suffering of others and the knowing destruction of the world for their individual gain. I would like to hope we can do better, but I don't think our nature can be fixed. You've stated that I should aim to change it, but you've also stated that I should not. I think you're trolling me. I don't really get why.


It seems to be the thing nowadays that if you don't like a counter-argument the other person must be a troll.

"JWL, why wouldn't someone want a world that has less suffering and abuse?"
Did I say this? I do want such a world. But it's not given to us like chocolates at Easter. It is (IMHO) something we came here to WORK for from an imperfect starting point.

"I am also not entirely convinced that moving out of caves has really made us better in any way"
There's really no sensible answer to this...

"I don't think our nature can be fixed"
You're doing the SS thing of projecting your gloom and doom on humanity. Of course our natures can be fixed. If and when we individually decide to make the changes necessary. We have free will at all times.

"You've stated that I should aim to change it, but you've also stated that I should not."
Really? Where??
 
Tabbyql

Tabbyql

Chronic people pleaser
Mar 13, 2019
282
Too many miracles.....If i didn't have so many mental health problems. If i wasn't with my bf, if i had nice amount of money, had career with dogs. If my mental health team didn't ditch me. If i had a different family. If everyone didnt want me dead. If i wasnt so ugly and wierd. If if if if lol
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Having something I enjoy to do... Something that makes it worth the pain I go through, it could be singing if I was good at singing, joking if I was good at making jokes, making money if I only knew how to make money. ..... Tried trading LOL I sucked and isn't learned from my mistake . .
 
Mofreeko

Mofreeko

Arcanist
Apr 7, 2019
478
If I literally woke up as someone else, with a different past, mind, face and body. But then I guess I wouldn't be me anymore. Whatever, I think modern western society is a little too good at keeping EVERYONE alive. In nature the weak die, but today we're forced to live every agonizing second of being a failure.
 
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