What would change about your past, if you could go back and do it all again?

[Genetics]

We are almost the same age. I'm just a year older and it's quite amazing how trauma / bulling in those formative years of our lives, cause ripple effects way way into our lives 30+ years on. Just those few years in my teens 13-16 is what sent this whole tragic turn of events in motion. just 3 short years, cause a life time of unease.

I can remember all the names of the bullies that tormented me at school, and I sure not a single one of them would remember me.

I had bully in elementary school. Her nickname was Birdie. Every single day of grade school from 5 grade to 8 grade (12-14 years old and coincidentally 3 years) should would threaten to beat me up after school. I would have to run the gauntlet to my bus every single day. I don't know why, I don't even remember her being in a class with me or me and her ever speaking.

So fast forward to around 1988. I was in a bar playing pool with my boyfriend. A chick comes up to me all smiles. "Hey, we went to school together. How are you? Let's hang out and drink!" So she remembered me but she didn't remember or seem to think that her behavior was an issue. I just got my purse and left! Should have hit her with a cue stick, on reflection.

I have a very distinctive grey streak in the forelock of my hair and I"m sure THAT's what she remembered and not really make the association. It was just her and I didn't see her in high school because she went to child prison for shooting her boyfriend in the chest with a shotgun during the summer before high school. 10 years later she's asking to drink with me!

BTW, I'm almost 60, September this year.

 

[cattalk610]

I would have more fun at school, and do more stupid things. I used to do that in middle school. I wasn't a bully, but i was a bad student, and i only cared about laughing hard with my friends. We were literal children doing the stupidest things ever. Then when i entered high school, i completely changed and worked super hard. I was the first of my class. And damn i was so so sad. My anxiety got worse. Now that i'm out of high school, and i dropped out college because of my mental health. I really regret not enjoying myself more in high school. I would have more memory to cherish, and more hope in life maybe!

Seems selfish but that the only thing i would change about myself. However, I would definitely change my family. Parents and my sister.