Discussion What would be the one thing to take away your suicidal urges and make you want to live?

[ItsAllTooLate]

For me, I'd love to have a normal brain. No ADHD, no PTSD, no traumatic brain injuries, just normality so I don't have to live with mood swings, poor judgement, overwhelming anxiety, etc., life would be so much easier.

 

[lunargreenx]

If I would have money, my life would be immediately much easier. I would move away from my abusive family, start applying to college and be finally free and independent. I would throw CTB out of the window.

Unfortunately I just ended high school and I have minimal savings from summer job from the previous year.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I don't think I can really say that there is ONLY one thing that would change my mind about it. If I was to post all of the reasons for why I am suicidal in this thread, I could probably write a 1K - 5k word essay on it, but I don't have the energy necessary to drop such a massive wall of text here. I guess if I had to pick my best one, it would be that if everyone had empathy and stopped being greedy, then I might stop thinking about suicide. If this one thing changed, I think it would make my list of reasons much smaller, since it is the root cause of my list being so long. Unfortunately, I don't think this ever will change.

So many people pretend to care about others just so they can take advantage of them until they lose interest and that is when they burn the bridge and find new prey. Once someone falls victim to something like this, it's very easy to fall into misanthropy and then any empathy they used to have seems to rot away and it's hard to get it back. I don't know if this happens to everyone in situations like those, but it happened to me.

 

[schopenh]

I have two major health problems and they may be connected. One is constant radicular neuropathic pain throughout my legs that stems from damage to the nervous system in my lumbosacral area. The other problem is intersititial cystitis, also called painful bladder syndrome. The latter may also be caused by the nerve damage in my lumbosacral area, we don't know. If the nerve pain throughout my legs was gone I could manage the bladder stuff and I'd want to live. As it stands it just make an already unbearable situation worse.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

Exactly as you said - a healthy brain. I'd be willing to be significantly less intelligent, while have a healthy brain, than be the way I am now.

 

[TAW122]

For me, it would be revive my old music hobby (which was died for me early in 2020), fulfill my dreams and fantasy, and of course, being independent financially and living arrangement wise. Those are just starters for me to want to live 'longer'. Of course, at the end I'd still have to face mortality, bad health, but during the interim, if I cannot have these things that I've mentioned, then I would rather CTB than to live decades waiting for things to 'get better' (or worst, get even worse).

 

[Saed]

Winding back time to the days when I had a functional stomach.

 

[KibblesNBits]

To be 18 again. Or for magical HRT treatment to reverse my deteriorating bones, health and fading looks.

 

[k3v3r]

Being able to live a normal life with minimal support, being able to go shopping, go to school, have friends and no flashbacks/nightmares

 

[lunargreenx]

Winding back time to the days when I had a functional stomach.

I am so sorry. I once knew a person with Crohn's disease, not sure if that's what is bothering you exactly, but I remember it was really hard on her and she was constantly brought into a hospital.

Physical pain is really bad. But I've read one study that said that our brains don't make a big difference between physical and psychical pain. Nevertheless, both suck anyway.

 

[Poptart]

LOTS OF MONEY

 

[superblessed]

I wish to be around elementary school age again to make better decisions

 

[faust]

Insanity. Well, that would the only one way. Losing my personality, identity, disappearing with fake ID, changing my name, surname and pretending I have always been another person with no problems. And of course adding up some psychotic mania and nullifying depression.

 

[palebluedot]

A healthy brain and somebody who loved me

 

[sourcreamonion]

A soulmate. Someone I can instantly connect with no matter what, I guess I'd feel less lonely.

 

[mediocre]

If I all of a sudden felt better physically. But my body is f*cked and the damage is irreversible.

 

[Cioran]

Well, it wouldn't make me "want to live" but it definitely would make me want to live longer: Somehow being with a certain girl I like.

 

[Irina]

Probably having friends (or having a neurotypical brain)... I never managed to create connections with other people. I never experienced love and I'm almost 34 years old. I feel so terribly lonely and I've been like that all my life. I had school and work colleagues with whom I talked a little more, but it was mostly about our assignments and rarely about personal subjects. I had a friend in my last year of school, I almost talked to her daily (she was a classmate) but it lasted only a few months until we went to different high schools and slowly stopped talking. I also have a distant friend (former college classmate) but we only talk maybe 3 times a year. I only recently got to have another friend, a former college colleague that restarted talking to me, and we do talk and spend time together and it helped. But he is the only person I talk to except my mother and some people at work, and I'm really afraid not to lose him too. I'm really careful to limit the conversations so that I wouldn't take too much of hist time and upset him. I think I have autism (I have all the symptoms of highly functioning autistic people) and I also have a high social anxiety. I got to the point that I can't watch groups of people or couples on the street without feeling a deep need to cry so I look down all the time when I walk. And this affects my interactions with people even more.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Resurrection of my husband.

 

[Intheo]

It wouldn't take away my depression, but my legal trouble troubles going away would greatly quiet the suicidal urges for now.
Maybe if I was working with conservation and constantly engaged to working on something I believe in, I probably wouldn't kill myself.

 

[GonnaGoBye]

A simple decision I fucked up last 2019. It hurts and it sucks wanting to go back in time to fix it so bad.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

Have all possible groceries, never to leave my room again.

 

[KleinerWolf]

A passport/citizenship from Australia/NZ/somewhere in the EU.
Im on a Chinese passport in case anyone wonders lol

 

[Intheo]

A simple decision I fucked up last 2019. It hurts and it sucks wanting to go back in time to fix it so bad.

Same here. If I could go back just one year and make different choices..

A passport/citizenship from Australia/NZ/somewhere in the EU.
Im on a Chinese passport in case anyone wonders lol

I'm not chinese but I'm on the same boat. I would much rather be a citizen of the EU. A lot of my issues stem from my nationality as well.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

My injury fixed. Body healed. And I wouldn't be here and I'd be enjoying a happy healthy life. The more I think how my life could have been the more I want to kill myself. I can't stand it.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I'm not chinese but I'm on the same boat. I would much rather be a citizen of the EU. A lot of my issues stem from my nationality as well.

Yeah. Can be frustrating.

 

[Saed]

I am so sorry. I once knew a person with Crohn's disease, not sure if that's what is bothering you exactly, but I remember it was really hard on her and she was constantly brought into a hospital.

Physical pain is really bad. But I've read one study that said that our brains don't make a big difference between physical and psychical pain. Nevertheless, both suck anyway.

No. It isn't Crohns. It's just my stomach.
Thank you for the kind words.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

To have my daughter back.

 

[SearchingforMeaning]

Have a medication that works for more than a couple weeks. The issue I keep running into on the rare occasions meds do work is they stop working after 3-4 weeks. I'm disabled at 24 and all of my former classmates have gone on to far more successful and fulfilling life paths. Meanwhile I've had suicidal ideation since I was 16. If I could get medication to work for an extended period that would be enough for me.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Change, I am sick of making changes to my life to be dragged back to hell again every time, before covid my list would have been endless, but right now, this covid and how the world is, I don't like it, it makes me want out even more,
I want the world back to how it was, no mask's, no being treated like a infected person, being able to move freely, etc, deleting the last 8 months would be perfect.