What will you be doing in the weeks, days, day of your CTB?

[Butterflyfree]

I'd like to hear what you think you'll be doing? Will you keep to your same schedule? Or do something totally different? Some people, CTB at night so I'm thinking that has to be pretty agonizing and extremely difficult to have to wake up that morning, if in fact you are able to sleep at all the night before, and know you have all day to get through before the time comes that night to CTB How does someone get through that?

 

[PeacefulTonic]

I'll be doing the same shit, suffering silently everyday, browsing SS for 10 hours a day, and going about the same routine as to not raise any alarm bells

 

[Chinaski]

I'll be doing the same shit, suffering silently everyday, browsing SS for 10 hour a day, and going about the same routine as to not raise any alarm bells

Same, tbh l don't set "dates" because if you hit the date and don't go through with it you feel like you've failed at something, l suspect my exit will be decided on the day, be quite unromantic and come with little preamble.

 

[StarryStarry]

Well, I guess I'm lucky in a way - no one will give a rat's ass if I'm gone. I won't be missed. No telephone calls, etc. I'll be driving to my destination, preparing for CTB. Once I get in that car and close the door - there will be no turning back. I'll be leaving my home with all my belongings (sorry - I won't be cleaning up after myself the way I know I should). Once I get to my destination, then well - you know.

 

[bed]

rotting in my room like i do every day.

 

[Greenberg]

I'd like to hear what you think you'll be doing? Will you keep to your same schedule? Or do something totally different? Some people, CTB at night so I'm thinking that has to be pretty agonizing and extremely difficult to have to wake up that morning, if in fact you are able to sleep at all the night before,band know you have all day to get through before the time comes that night to go. How does someone get through that?

Think of every day (prior to cbt) as your last. Live for the moment with no regrets. If routine suits you, go right ahead; on the other hand, if you want to check off an item from your bucket list, now is a good time to do it. Best, G

 

[Noctis]

I tried to CTB once. I mean, I've fantasized about it and made half-hearted plans many times. But there was one time I had a plan and I was committed. I was going to do it at night. That day was one of the best I've ever had. I was so relaxed and zen about everything. It was like I knew I had won and life couldn't hurt me anymore.

Obviously, it didn't work. So now I'm doing all the research I need to guarantee I have no more failed attempts... only success.

 

[Crazy4u]

I plan to quit my job, break my apartment lease, and stop any auto payments. I want to clear everything before I go so noone finds me or calls me

 

[KTbear]

Most likely making sure my house is clean and my affairs are in order.

 

[Greenberg]

Most likely making sure my house is clean and my affairs are in order.

Please do not take offense to my comment: why bother cleaning the house? Ensuring your affairs are in order, I can understand. I mean would you do a tuneup on a car going off a cliff? Spend your time on things that really matter to you... Best, G

 

[KTbear]

Please do not take offense to my comment: why bother cleaning the house? Ensuring your affairs are in order, I can understand. I mean would you do a tuneup on a car going off a cliff? Spend your time on things that really matter to you... Best, G

I don't want my sister to have to clean it.

 

[Greenberg]

I don't want my sister to have to clean it.

Ah, got it. Very thoughtful. Have you decided if you will fulfill your intention in your house or elsewhere?

 

[KTbear]

Ah, got it. Very thoughtful. Have you decided if you will fulfill your intention in your house or elsewhere?

Very far from the house for sure.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Preparing by deleting things and whatnot.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Same shit as any other day, though maybe also practicing ctb as well as deleting my stuff I don't want others to see after death.

 

[wait-for-the-bus]

I'd like to hear what you think you'll be doing? Will you keep to your same schedule? Or do something totally different? Some people, CTB at night so I'm thinking that has to be pretty agonizing and extremely difficult to have to wake up that morning, if in fact you are able to sleep at all the night before,band know you have all day to get through before the time comes that night to go. How does someone get through that?

I find these questions both fascinating and a bit scarey beause they really become part of your plan to CTB

A week before I would book a hotel where I planned to CTB. It would be a normal business trip to others. During the week before I would make sure I said good bye - to people - not that they knew my intent but I realize it would be the last time they saw me or I them.

Once I arrived at the hotel I would put out the do not disturb sign and lock it from the inside. I'd write a couple of short suicide notes and then pull out my hanging gear and set it up.

I am sure I would be scared but determined. I would look at it for a while. Then before midnight I'd be gone.

 

[Butterflyfree]

I'll be doing the same shit, suffering silently everyday, browsing SS for 10 hours a day, and going about the same routine as to not raise any alarm bells

@PeacefulTonic I'm so sorry your family does not know of your plans?

 

[PeacefulTonic]

@PeacefulTonic I'm so sorry your family does not know of your plans?

Thanks for the empathy, although I'm a piece of shit and don't deserve any. Some of them know I'm suicidal but they don't know I have N and that I'm going to use it

 

[Butterflyfree]

Thanks for the empathy, although I'm a piece of shit and don't deserve any. Some of them know I'm suicidal but they don't know I have N and that I'm going to use it

@PeacefulTonic NO, you are NOT a piece of shit. Please don't leave this lifetime thinking that. It's not your fault that you are suffering enough that you feel you have to go because you have zero quality of life.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

@PeacefulTonic NO, you are NOT a piece of shit. Please don't leave this lifetime thinking that. It's not your fault that you are suffering enough that you feel you have to go because you have zero quality of life.

Well, I cheated on the love of my life and fucked everything up(incurable health issues that I won't go into detail for privacy reasons) and I ended up here. I'm sure many people would say "if she was the love of your life why did you cheat?" I'm selfish, greedy, and hyper sexual I guess. What's done is done, I've accepted my fate.

I'm grateful that a site like SS even exists. I'd be considered a "normie" to most people. I was dealt a decent hand(loving family, born in the US, no mental illness, solid genetics), but still managed to make shitty life decisions that lead me to being suicidal and end up on this forum

 

[Butterflyfree]

Well, I cheated on the love of my life and fucked everything up(incurable health issues that I won't go into detail for privacy reasons) and I ended up here. I'm sure many people would say "if she was the love of your life why did you cheat?" I'm selfish, greedy, and hyper sexual I guess. What's done is done, I've accepted my fate.

I'm grateful that a site like SS even exists. I'd be considered a "normie" to most people. I was dealt a decent hand(loving family, born in the US, no mental illness, solid genetics), but still managed to make shitty life decisions that lead me to being suicidal and end up on this forum

@PeacefulTonic I don't know why, but I have always thought you were female.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

@PeacefulTonic I don't know why, but I have always thought you were female.

Weird, I thought it's pretty obvious I'm a male. Guess not

 

[stupidlife666]

im gonna throw a pie in the face of a pregnant woman

 

[StarryStarry]

Please do not take offense to my comment: why bother cleaning the house? Ensuring your affairs are in order, I can understand. I mean would you do a tuneup on a car going off a cliff? Spend your time on things that really matter to you... Best, G

You make a valid point. People aren't going to remember you because your house was clean.

 

[again_noidea]

im gonna throw a pie in the face of a pregnant woman

i had a guilty laugh out of that, shame on me :)

 

[steviewonder]

Take a fuck ton of magic mushrooms

 

[Kobusu]

I think it'll just be a day like any other. When I tried to have a special day of saying goodbye and all that emotional, sentimental shit, I just got found out and "saved*. So I think I'll keep it a normal day, play some video games, write a bit, maybe do some class work. Then I'll clean my room up a bit, take my antidepressants, and blow the roof of my head off. Pretty mundane, which is fitting. Why stress myself on my last day alive with some special planning or anything like that?

 

[FuneralCry]

I will be focused on making sure that the method does not fail, as that is the most important thing for me. I will be hoping that this is the end of it all and that my plans will work. I will not do anything special, there is nothing that I want to do. I just want to exit this world and be free of all suffering.

 

[Butterflyfree]

I will be focused on making sure that the method does not fail, as that is the most important thing for me. I will be hoping that this is the end of it all and that my plans will work. I will not do anything special, there is nothing that I want to do. I just want to exit this world and be free of all suffering.

@FuneralCry I feel the same.

 

[nottheend]

Drinks and drugs!!