What were your thoughts on suicide prior to your suicidality?

[Al_stargate]

Anyone?
I didn't have much thoughts about it before my situation that led me to this point. I would definitely have compassion for a person in such a difficult situation but would consider suicide somewhat of a sin honestly, except for terminally ill. How did you feel about it? Any previous hardcore pro-lifers here?

 

[lizwuhan]

This is a good question! I think when I was younger I might've felt the same way in regards to suicide being a sin. I would've found suicide to be cowardly and even embarrassing or shameful for that person (thanks parents). My attitude towards suicide was pretty unempathetic.

 

[sharky]

I always thought that when I'm old and can't live without depending on others for help that I'll commit suicide. I always understood why people commit suicide when they suffer, but for me it was far far away and I never actually researched method or anything. Never thought that it's a sin or that's it's cowardly. We enter this world without being asked if we want to, we should at least exit it when we want to.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I never was against it, but due to forced religion as a child I was lucky enough to get it instilled in me what the consequences of committing suicide are in what comes following death. I don't practice any religion now but it hurt since I considered suicide decently early and felt all the more guilt. It mostly made, and makes, me sad that people are driven to such a point.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

I was a young teen then. Mostly I just thought it was really sad. Also raised religious, so I wouldn't allow myself to feel suicidal because it was a "sin." Back then I just phrased my sadness as wanting to run away or sleep for a while, haha. But I always felt very sad for people who were in that position. I thought, surely there must be medicine, people, religion, etc that could help them. I was quite the optimist.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I have never really wanted to live. Even when I was very young, I found death to be comforting. I have always been able to understand why people want to leave this world. It is all that I want after all. The thought of non existence has always been preferable to any kind of life. Life is just meaningless suffering.

 

[apoptosis]

When I was in 7-8th grade, I can't remember, I told my best friend— naively— that I give them permission to tell my parents if I tell them I desire to or have hurt myself. I doubt she remembers it but she has echoed the same sentiment recently, saying if I was hurting myself she'd tell my mom. And that's why I'm not telling her anything lol

But yeah, when I was younger I genuinely didn't understand being suicidal or depressed. I have no idea how it came up in conversation either. Now I understand what it's like now and it seems like a lifetime ago I couldn't wrap my head around wanting to die. Now, I think about it daily.

 

[Seafoam]

When I was in my early elementary and middle school days I didn't take suicide that seriously. I didn't even know what depression was. I definitely was depressed back then I just didn't know that it had a name. Plus, I was always told that people who commit suicide go to hell. I've come a long way lol.

 

[Loaf of bread]

Back then I thought that if a suicidal person talks to a "professional", they will magically stop being suicidal.

Why did I think this? Because everyone thought the same thing.

If everyone thinks the same thing, then said thing must be true, right? /s

Tragically bad logic, but most people never question it, unfortunately :(

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Never thought much about it. It was entirely alien. I could not imagine a state of mind that would create such a desire.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Anyone?
I didn't have much thoughts about it before my situation that led me to this point. I would definitely have compassion for a person in such a difficult situation but would consider suicide somewhat of a sin honestly, except for terminally ill. How did you feel about it? Any previous hardcore pro-lifers here?

funny thing for me is, before all this I was working on a suicidal ward in a mental health facility, looking at all the people and feeling sorry for them, and wondering how you could possibly do the things these people have done to themselves, like cutting their arms to the bone and tendon in places about 10 times and surviving it, or trying to hang themselves, everyone walking about without shoe laces and shit, I never thought that 2 years later I'd be planning the same shit as them

 

[Al_stargate]

funny thing for me is, before all this I was working on a suicidal ward in a mental health facility, looking at all the people and feeling sorry for them, and wondering how you could possibly do the things these people have done to themselves, like cutting their arms to the bone and tendon in places about 10 times and surviving it, or trying to hang themselves, everyone walking about without shoe laces and shit, I never thought that 2 years later I'd be planning the same shit as them

That's mental, no pun intended. Sorry life brought you to this point.

 

[FogFilledLife]

Didn't have any.

 

[NSA]

I've been pro-choice my entire life. When I was a little kid and still believed in God, I'd wonder why he thought people shouldn't kill themselves. Like, why can't we see heaven now? Why do we have to wait?

None of the pastors ever had a good answer lol.

 

[absoluteanimal1]

I was too young, so I hadn't really thought much about suicide before I became suicidal at age 12.

 

[ClownMe]

When I was like 10 I would always wonder why anyone would ever kill themselves, then soon after I became severely depressed and suicidal and have been so ever since.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

I think I was always a pro choice on some level and have felt some empathy towards those who died by suicide. I was first suicidal at the age of 14-15 and have been the same since,though with different levels of suicidal ideation.I don't remember much before that age,but my mother was also severely suicidal and had quite a lot of attempts in my childhood so I don't think I got the time and space to think differently about suicide. It was somehow always a constant presence in my life.

 

[Everybody_yells]

Funny that you should ask.

Until a couple years back I thought of ctb as something that goes against logic (thanks to my narcissistic parents). In fact I despised it. But that is what goes on with my life interestingly.

I despised ctb, and now I am contemplating it.
I am working at a job category that I used to despise
I did not advocate for relationships and yet ended up in being one and getting dumped lmao. !

In a sense, its like some overlord is writing a specific script for me so that I could live my own hell lol.

 

[erdbeeren]

Anyone?
I didn't have much thoughts about it before my situation that led me to this point. I would definitely have compassion for a person in such a difficult situation but would consider suicide somewhat of a sin honestly, except for terminally ill. How did you feel about it? Any previous hardcore pro-lifers here?

I used to believe that people who ctb went to hell (I am an atheist now). I was terrified bc of of this misconception.

Also, I fell for the false information surrounding ctb.

Examples:
-permanent solution to a temporary problem
-that it's selfish
-the hotlines actually help most ppl who call
-it gets better

 

[sparky10]

I never considered it until all hope was lost. Tried every med therapy and now I'm unable to function and do basic tasks

 

[Everybody_yells]

If everyone thinks the same thing, then said thing must be true, right? /s

lol I had to just put this image cos I was almost always pestered with the same thought you said, by my Nparents. Eventually I turned out to doubt every decision I take now.

 

[Meursault4]

I guess I would've been too scared of death to actually think about it, but I never thought suicide was a bad or sinful thing, I just never understood why people would do it or how they could go through with it.
I guess now when you figure out that death can be a peaceful and liberating thing when done in a consensual and freewilled way then there's no reason to fear it if you believe in no afterlife.

 

[ornitier199]

Suicide was bliss. The bets gift I could give myself. It's just unfortunately accompanied by pain first.
But those delusions asses tried to say otherwise.

 

[Rational man]

I knew many young people.and a family.member who ctb. I respected their decisions.as.who am i to judge. Ive always been fascinated by death. Humans fear and yet we all die. I began to realise that apart from this fact of impermanence, ctb is respected in my mind. I can understand why instead of casting down judgement.

 

[Foresight]

It saddened me but it made sense to me. I was never naive that people could fall and the world could crush them.

 

[outrider567]

Anyone?
I didn't have much thoughts about it before my situation that led me to this point. I would definitely have compassion for a person in such a difficult situation but would consider suicide somewhat of a sin honestly, except for terminally ill. How did you feel about it? Any previous hardcore pro-lifers here?

Suicide was not on my mind my entire life, had a healthy, happy and lucky life, retired at age 43 about 25 years ago---But my girlfriend's death changed all that--35 years together....then nothing but memories that are now painfully haunting because she's not here anymore

 

[Al_stargate]

Suicide was not on my mind my entire life, had a healthy, happy and lucky life, retired at age 43 about 25 years ago---But my girlfriend's death changed all that--35 years together....then nothing but memories that are now painfully haunting because she's not here anymore

Sorry to hear it. You're close to 70, lot of people your age go through loss of their life partner. Can't imagine but maybe give it some time if you haven't already. You can always cherish memories you had together.

 

[thedaywillcome]

I always believed suicide was a option if really needed.

 

[outrider567]

Sorry to hear it. You're close to 70, lot of people your age go through loss of their life partner. Can't imagine but maybe give it some time if you haven't already. You can always cherish memories you had together.

'Close to70'---still 67 yrs old please don't rush me---Time? been three months already, don't feel any better, feel worse actually--My CTB is only on hold cuz my brother is fighting stage 4 lung cancer

 

[Al_stargate]

Time? been three months already, don't feel any better, feel worse actually--My CTB is only on hold cuz my brother is fighting stage 4 lung cancer

Sorry to hear it. Three months is not much time. You have any other family members you can turn to?