What was your triggering moment for ctb in short?

[Taran]

My triggering moment for ctb is when my mental illness started destroying my career and relationships.

 

[Timetodie90]

When my breathing got worse. I suffer from Chronic Rhino-Sinusitis. I have very poor quality of life with it sadly. I was coping but it's got a lot worse so that's what made me decide to ctb.

 

[departing]

My friendships and career have gone to hell and there seems to be no turning back.

 

[LMLN]

My husband committed suicide.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

My life. All of it except the first 8 years.

 

[WhathaveIdone]

my life since the summer of the millennium

 

[Worthless_nobody]

The death of my child and my ex fiance was the nail in the coffin. Abuse, trauma, homelessness mental/physical issues set the stage.

 

[Darkhaven]

When i started noticing symptoms of a neurological disease.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

Severe disabilities and unsolvable family problems

 

[itsamadworld]

When I realized how nasty and aweful human nature really is.

 

[faust]

Might be a severe depression caused by Sertraline.
Though, probably everything was just accumulating and crossed the line...

 

[CatholicGuilt]

I have long felt like even though I have dear friends and family in my life, no one really loves me as much or the same way I love them. And, the chasms are widest between myself and those I love the most. The weight of my cross is just getting too heavy.

 

[usernameNotFound]

Chronic health issues. stopped planning for the future.

 

[Circles]

Realizing there's no control or having no actual freedom of choice in life. Couldn't control being born or how you grow up to be, can't control this fucking depression getting worse, can't control feeling empty and boring all the goddamn time, can't control this fucking back and knee pain, couldn't control losing my dog, etc., etc. So many goddamn fucking things out of our goddamn fucking control and either you can accept the bullshit life throws at you or you don't and I simple cannot accept this fucked up existence.

 

[NotMeantForHere]

My triggering moment for ctb is when my mental illness started destroying my career and relationships.

Same kinda for me. My triggering moment was when I realized that my life really is not going to get better and that all my hopes and dreams were just fantasies that were never going to come true. My triggering moment was really when I woke up to the reality of life and my depression..

 

[Depressedtoolong]

When my breathing got worse. I suffer from Chronic Rhino-Sinusitis. I have very poor quality of life with it sadly. I was coping but it's got a lot worse so that's what made me decide to ctb.

How long have you had it for?

 

[restforeternity]

My husband committed suicide.

My condolences....mine did too last year. I know the feeling involved. I wish I could give you a hug rn.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

My triggering moment was really when I woke up to the reality of life and my depression..

This so much.

 

[to be a sad tran]

I have an abusive mother. I've been lonely since I was 7 (I'm 18). I'm trans. I was mute for 4 years. I was abused and nobody knows. When I was 13 I was constantly touched and catcalled by old men. I had stalkers and abusive teachers. And the list goes on and on, I'm just so tired. I've been suicidal since I was 13 and I can't take it any longer. I don't want to live anymore.

 

[Midnight-rain]

The realization that my major depression disorder will send me into spiraling depressed episodes for the rest of my life even if my mental health improved. And no longer associating with my best friend of six years, who once upon a time helped me overcome said depression.

 

[Taran]

The realization that my major depression disorder will send me into spiraling depressed episodes for the rest of my life even if my mental health improved. And no longer associating with my best friend of six years, who once upon a time helped me overcome said depression.

Knowing most of mental illnesses doesn't have a actuall cure and need to be just managed with drugs that too not sure will work or no is the biggest mystery for many people with mental illness.... whether to figth it or give up....cause it's a never ending battle if we figth....and never ending battles require a lot of destruction in the process.

 

[BPDbitch]

My partner leaving was the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

[Timetodie90]

How long have you had it for?

Roughly ten years. One third of my so called life

 

[Mr2005]

The turn of the decade. I'd love to be able to say this one but I mean the last one. Reality hit me that I'd wasted six years waiting for plastic surgery. I immediately set up an e-mail address and joined a time travel forum. Did everything I could but of course it was futile. The whole time wondering why I didn't just join a plastic surgery forum in the first place. Waiting for my parents to sort it out like the spoilt child I was. Instead they put me into therapy and I went along with it. That in itself makes me want to kill myself. Now every kid has a smartphone and it just rubs it in. I wouldn't have needed anyones help had I been born a decade later but I shouldn't have done anyway. Just needed to leave the porn alone for five minutes. I was at that age, not getting any because I was waiting for surgery and my mum had made it a sin so of course it was impossible to resist. I still have sexual guilt to this day as well as the rest. Perhaps the worst thing though is I don't deserve sympathy. I was the victim but also the perpetrator. Meant to be an adult but took no responsibility. I cringe just writing this

 

[Depressedtoolong]

Roughly ten years. One third of my so called life ☹

Oh God. I couldn't imagine having sinusitis for that long. I once had it for 6 months and that was more than long enough.

 

[Nem]

I have felt shitty before but I was in a controlling relationship a number of years ago and it triggered a severe depression, started going on meds again and then my life went to hell. My dr was a freakin a-hole and prescribed a dangerous combo of meds and my ex demanded I keep taking them after I mentioned they were making me sick.
Suffered some pretty serious damage, nerve, kidney and some of my muscles atrophied and even melted. I was brought to the hospital by ambulance and they left me in a wheelchair and the hospital refused to treat me. The dr, pharmacy and hospital all tried to cover it up...I am very serious about this! My ex saw that they were trying to cover things up and absolutely refused to help me one bit.

That was THE worst experience of my life and my ex was a serious sociopath!!!!
Peace/hugs

 

[Brink]

I've been slowly ruining my life for years making the wrong choices, growing up too quickly, isolating myself, burning every bridge I cross and keeping things bottled up, but last year was the nail in the coffin. I had a breakdown trying to seek answers from an institution following strange circumstances, found myself on a ward and threatened to sue "at every level" - I thought I could take it all on alone. Life's been ruined and CTB's been inevitable ever since.

 

[Timetodie90]

Oh God. I couldn't imagine having sinusitis for that long. I once had it for 6 months and that was more than long enough.

I actually have Chronic Rhinitis but with bouts of Sinusitis. I constantly feel awful yak. So they diagnosed me as having Chronic Rhino-Sinusitis. Also I have eczema in my ears and excess ear wax which needs to be suctioned every 2 months. Also I have flat feet, ginger hair and I'm left handed. Plus I crushed my left wrist when I crashed a motorbike. Which means it plays up from time to time. Only 29 and I'm knackered already

 

[Sotired_]

A life time of mh problems that seem so ingrained therapy isn't getting me anywhere. Due to these issues I live a very lonely isolated life and fear any interaction with people. Add on chronic physical illness too.

Realising how there isnt anything else I can do, yet I'm more messed up than ever did it. I've been trying to help myself for many years.

 

[NotMeantForHere]

I have felt shitty before but I was in a controlling relationship a number of years ago and it triggered a severe depression, started going on meds again and then my life went to hell. My dr was a freakin a-hole and prescribed a dangerous combo of meds and my ex demanded I keep taking them after I mentioned they were making me sick.
Suffered some pretty serious damage, nerve, kidney and some of my muscles atrophied and even melted. I was brought to the hospital by ambulance and they left me in a wheelchair and the hospital refused to treat me. The dr, pharmacy and hospital all tried to cover it up...I am very serious about this! My ex saw that they were trying to cover things up and absolutely refused to help me one bit.

That was THE worst experience of my life and my ex was a serious sociopath!!!!
Peace/hugs

OMG, I'm so sorry this happened to you