I triggered people in this clinic for suicidal people am I now responsible if they ctb?

[noname223]

I think it is obvious which answer I want. No staff member asked me to talk. I am a little bit isolated.

There Was this guy who has extreme Issues and this Borderline woman. Tbh I have the feeling the first one is in extreme Issues and has no other way out of his pain. The Borderline woman is weird sometimes I had the feeling she might is evil and wants to Drive me to commit suicide (could be paranoia) and sometimes she wants to save me. She admitted the latter one.

I could not endure this Isolation anymore. My roommate has no serious issues compared to Most others. They were alone sitting in the kitchen. Everything is so fake in this clinic. I think it is a mistake to put all suicidal people in one apartment.

I asked them whether it would mind them if I talked about suicide. They Said no. I mean I am an honest Person and talking helps. Everyone knows we are all pretty suicidal it is the pink elephant in the room.

I told them I am scared when I was manic and on benzos I had no fear of suicide. I did not want to ctb at rock bottom. Again I asked whether this triggers them. They replied no. They would say stop if it triggered them.

I continued and Said I always thought approaching suicide would traumatize me but instead I am more apathetic about it. Then they turned Angry on me and told me I triggered them. I think both are Pretty pissed at me now.

I have a guilty conscience but theoretically I am making everything way worse by sharing my thoughts with the Internet.

But they gave me their fucking consent. I asked 2-3 Times before I fully shared.

If they commit suicide soon and I will hear it this will make me so suicidal.

I think the one person is a pretty hopeless case and I was interested to talk about suicide with him. I often also think that I am a hopeless case.

My friends say I should stop worrying about it. Tbh if These words Drive someone over the edge the they must be in a pretty hopeless situation. And they gave me their fucking consent.

And if this was so Bad how Bad is it to be frequent poster on SanctionedSuicide. God damn it.

However, I am an outcast in this clinic I am slightly manic and in a better mood. I was sitting alone at my table. And the some people teased me. I am not sure whether that's paranoid. But they joked how annoying it is when someone is in such a good mood. I was clearly feeling Bad in this moment. Both if them took Part in this subtle teasing.

Ironically, I think this might have driven me to open up about my suicidality I wanted that they See that I am in pain too and that this is all a facade. The teasing was only a short time and subtle but it hurt me.

Me instead I was just fully honest as always. And I asked them for their fucking consent. I cannot Look them into their eyes. Especially the guy who seems to be on the death row. I think He has severe neurological, mental and financial issues. But come on I cannot be responsible for his death.

Maybe that's a Narrative I Tell myself to feel better.

They told me to talk to a staff member about suicide instead and I think I stunned that staff member. Lmao.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't think it would be your fault- no. Not for making one comment after already asking them if they would be ok with you discussing how you felt. Now that they do know how you feel and they've told you it upset them- that's when it would become an issue to keep trying to talk about it with them. I doubt you would though. Even in that situation though- they could do things to avoid talking about something that really triggered them.

I guess it depends on just how fragile someone is and how quickly they form deep connections with others but, I'm not sure many people would commit after a comment from a relative stranger.

I guess that is quite a strange environment to be in though. Almost like a boiling pot. I can see how the various personalities and problems could set one another off.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. You asked more than once if it was okay to talk about it, they consented to it. Them changing their minds after the fact is not a reflection on you, it's a reflection on them. Maybe they initially thought they could handle it, then felt that they couldn't and felt better blaming someone else than themselves. It may very well not even be malicious, it may be a response due to being overwhelmed. That environment is the perfect cocktail for unexpected responses, reactions and emotions - it's a group of strangers at their lowest, with a myriad of problems, all stuck together in the same facility - if that doesn't scream complications then I don't know what will.

 

[noname223]

I told the Staff I need to change the clinic. It is a horrible Environment. I am not acute suicidal. It burdens me. My roommate says the same. I get nightmares when the Staff comes in my room during nights. I thought they would kill me. Tonight I dreamt I would get raped. My roommate started smoking again. Who has conceptualized this clinic? It is a hell hole for your mental health.

 

[-Link-]

They told me to talk to a staff member about suicide instead and I think I stunned that staff member. Lmao.

I would save any mental health chatter for doctors, nurses, and support groups only.

In a mental health ward, if other patients wanted to talk to me, I'd just listen to them but offer very little information about my own issues. I'd also say very little about their own circumstances. No opinions about their issues, nothing that could be construed as judgemental or unsolicited counsel, no prying questions, no talk about suicide, politics, religion, or any other subjects of potential volatility.

I think best practices in a mental health ward are to keep your head down, speak to other patients only when necessary, and focus on the reason why you're there (treatment, doctors, nurses, groups). If while doing this you happen to really click with another patient, then maybe that person could be a friend to you in there. But be very cautious when engaging other patients about anything at all.

To answer the topic question, no you would not be responsible for any suicidal actions on the part of those patients.

 

[noname223]

Someone killed themselves in this clinic just yesterday. I am scared as fuck she heard what I told the other people and killed herself because of me. Am I guilty? I could puke. Shit this could traumatize me even. I think this makes my suicide even more likely.

But it is none of the people I talked to.

I don't know whether she heard it. I don't even know her face and tbh I don't want to know it. Bro I think some higher force wants to Drive me to commit suicide.

Can you calm me down?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I really don't think any of this is your fault. If the people you are with are that vulnerable to being pushed over the edge by talking or overhearing talk about suicide, the staff ought to have set ground rules from the start that you weren't to discuss it.

It sounds like all of the people you are with are suicidal to varying degrees. I doubt much of what is going on in their heads is down to you. She won't have been the first person to suicide in a hospital. It's possible that she still wanted to do it the moment she got there.

It does seem to be making you very paranoid but then, I'm not entirely surprised. It's got to feel a very odd environment to be in. If it's an open clinic, do you have to stay there? I don't know- obviously, you're in a better position to know whether it's helping you.

I worked in a care setting at one point and we had to do checks on people throughout the night. I wasn't convinced it was a good thing to do either. Just how beneficial is it to scare someone shitless in the middle of the night creeping into their room?!!

 

[FriesLovee]

Are you there for a long time ? im so confused

 

[noname223]

I had a talk with a therapist. She told me I might can go tomorrow to a different clinic. She is also does not think it's my fault. But I did not her that I talked about my suicidality with others.

I am there since one week. I am glad I cannot remember the woman. I told them I give them my benzos it scared me it took my anxiety.

I am pretty impressed by the highest doctor. He handled it very well. I have high respect for him.

 

[noname223]

Can please someone calm me down? I feel So guilty and suicidal. I never experienced something like that on SanctionedSuicide. This clinic is so fucking stupid.

I was already so paranoid and it makes me way more paranoid.

 

[noname223]

I talked to the patients in the clinic and they blame me. I just talked to them. I also talked to the nurse and she says it's not my fault.

Tbh I feel like I am cursed.
It reminds me a lot to the time my grandad died and my family blamed me for it. The funeral was a mess.

We had an argument and my mom and grandma wanted to throw me out because I insisted I was abused as a child. My grandad witnessed the Argument and died. My whole family blamed me it triggered a manic Episode. Tbh I think a manic Episode is my death sentence I won't survive this.

But to be honest which lesson should I taught if there is a higher being what is the point of This. What does it prove?

Don't talk with others about suicide? Am I that evil?
Here is my defense. If Satan or God wants it.

This clinic is a hell hole for my mental health. All These suicidal people around me. The pink elephant in the room noone is allowed to speak about. No clinic Staff Asked whether they want to talk to me. I felt so isolated. I really think they tried to mock me some Days before. They took shots at me. The ones who now blame me for her suicide. I wanted that they like me. I wanted that they see my pain. I am in a better mood than Most of them. They gave me the feeling I don't belong here. When I opened up about my despair I felt being taking serious. I wanted to show them yes I am one of you. Yes I am suicidal too. I felt like I am an outcast here.

The staff members/nurses/doctors never asked me to talk with me. I was so alone. I just wanted to share my pain.

I was pretty paranoid the last week. I am clearly mentally unstable. I will update this a couple more times until someone can calm me down.

I did not speak to her directly. I am also interested in opinions of people who get also blamed for suicides and with that I mean staff members of SanctionedSuicide.

 

[-Link-]

If you're blaming yourself, then you'd be putting off a vibe of guilt, and it's this vibe that the other patients would be picking up on to mistakenly attribute any guilt to you.

Listen to the staff, never mind what the patients say, and keep a low profile with other patients rather than engaging them in discussions.

Things move very slowly in mental health wards. Boredom is a thing that everybody who ever goes inpatient has to deal with. I'd try to get hold of some books and do some reading to help pass the time.

Again, you are not responsible for suicidal actions in other people. Just talking about suicide is not enough to make somebody do it.

 

[noname223]

If you're blaming yourself, then you'd be putting off a vibe of guilt, and it's this vibe that the other patients would be picking up on to mistakenly attribute any guilt to you.

Listen to the staff, never mind what the patients say, and keep a low profile with other patients rather than engaging them in discussions.

Things move very slowly in mental health wards. Boredom is a thing that everybody who ever goes inpatient has to deal with. I'd try to get hold of some books and do some reading to help pass the time.

Again, you are not responsible for suicidal actions in other people. Just talking about suicide is not enough to make somebody do it.

Thank you again for this reply.

 

[BlockHammer]

Well in my perspective, it's really tricky to determine wheater or not someone would kill themself because of someone else trigger their suicidality. Like people have a diffrent mental fortitude when it came to this, some people would get trigger too easily some don't, truth be told that we didn't have any tool to measure how strong people mental can be, it's not something that we can't measure by number or else. So the argument of triggering someone using a word is at best vague in my opinion. I don't think you should blame yourself for things you can't predict

 

[noname223]

The message spread and now everyone is blaming me. I even get the feeling by the Staff members. The feeling is unimaginable. The Borderline woman cried when I talked.

This is very similar to when my grandad died and his funeral. I think some have Schadenfreude. Which sort of proves that they are the evil ones.

 

[-Link-]

@noname223 if the staff actually thought you were triggering other patients as much as you feel you are, then they'd have you removed from the clinic immediately.

Keep a low profile with other patients. Keep your head down and don't talk to other patients unless totally necessary.

Talk to the staff about your feelings of guilt. "Getting feelings from them" is just a matter of projecting your own feelings of guilt onto them. You might feel guilty about something, but that doesn't mean you're actually guilty of that something.

You are in a clinic for the acutely suicidal. The clinic has responsibility and legal liability that they must consider. If staff thought for a moment that you were a problem like this, they would put you in isolation.

 

[noname223]

@noname223 if the staff actually thought you were triggering other patients as much as you feel you are, then they'd have you removed from the clinic immediately.

Keep a low profile with other patients. Keep your head down and don't talk to other patients unless totally necessary.

Talk to the staff about your feelings of guilt. "Getting feelings from them" is just a matter of projecting your own feelings of guilt onto them. You might feel guilty about something, but that doesn't mean you're actually guilty of that something.

You are in a clinic for the acutely suicidal. The clinic has responsibility and legal liability that they must consider. If staff thought for a moment that you were a problem like this, they would put you in isolation.

Thank you this Support means so much to me without this forum I would already be Dead.