What was the closest you got to ctb

[Gypped]

why did it fail ? what went wrong ? i have not attempted yet,my problems are recent

 

[Trashcan]

When I tried partial suspension. I didn't want to die in that moment, it was more that I was home alone for several hours. So the survival instinct took over.

Next time I'll be using a gun. It won't be an attempt.

But if you live alone, partial should be easy because you can do it at any time.

 

[Chinaski]

Testing a partial a couple of weeks back, passed out, but wasn't fully prepped, rope wasn't fixed tightly enough. Whilst this wasn't an attempt per se I was very upset that l could've passed so easily by accident and must now drum up courage to get to that point again.

 

[Jai]

Handgun Glock 17 pointed at chest half a pressure point away from the trigger going off wife came home early unexpected

 

[DoneFighting]

I've had my hand gun and shotgun in my mouth several times. Pulled the trigger once and it didn't go off. Tried hanging but survival instinct kicked in. Tried that again and the rope was too long. The reason I switched was because my guns were taken from me. Don't really want to ctb anymore, I've accepted this shitty life.

 

[thetwilightzone]

Nov 2015, I tried electrocuting myself with a HV capacitor. didn't work.

Nov 2017, I forged a prescription for diazepam but instead of 2mg of 50 tablets I received 50 tablets of 1mg xanax.

For any of you that don't know how much that is, 1mg tablet of xanax = 20mg diazepam so in reality, instead of receiving 100mg of diazepam (in total), I received the equivalent of 1000mg of diazepam (in total). I could have combined that with alcohol, zolpidem, and codeine to cause CNS depression.

 

[Candour]

Tried 3 times, 2x overdose, one of which gave me a perforated stomach ulcer. Also, tried poisoning myself that didn't work either (not sure why).

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Closest was putting shotgun in my mouth but survival instinct stops me.

 

[Candour]

I wish I could get a gun (live in UK) I would have been gone long ago

 

[NOISYMIND]

Failed on partial hanging twice a few days back and the day before yesterday. My last one was close enough to losing consciousness but I got scared and backed out. Survival instinct is tricky...

 

[Fucking loving it]

Od with fentanyl percocet vicodin 3 muscle relaxers 3 benzos sleeping meds and psych meds. 2 times found unresponsive . Right after my daughter died. Let me go man.

 

[jaemus12]

I don't consider my first "attempt" an attempt. I once got so emotional and got very desperate I took the closest things to try to ctb...

I took some duct tape and taped my mouth and nose. I also wrapped tape around my hands so I couldn't rip it off....

But survival instinct kicked in within seconds and I pussied out and ripped the tape forcefully...

Yeah it's dumb.

 

[Wantingpeace]

Partial and close to passing out but survival instinct and worry that problem wuth rope after passed out..

 

[Fucking loving it]

Od with fentanyl percocet vicodin 3 muscle relaxers 3 benzos sleeping meds and psych meds. 2 times found unresponsive . Right after my daughter died. Let me go man.

I mean 3 different benzos and 3 different muscle relaxers.

 

[RMP]

Like 20 years ago we made a trip to a local mountain. There we found a tree which fruit was supposed to be deadly. According to the science teacher, soldiers would eat its fruit in the aftermath of the civil war to avoid interrogation in the event of being captured.
Well, i picked some of these and ate them at a later date, believing it would mean my death. They were completely innocuous.
This time i won't fail, got my whole sn kit, just waiting to decide a remote enough location.

 

[Jai]

Od with fentanyl percocet vicodin 3 muscle relaxers 3 benzos sleeping meds and psych meds. 2 times found unresponsive . Right after my daughter died. Let me go man.

I'm sorry that's true fiend

 

[Jai]

I'm sorry that's true fiend

True pain

 

[weedoge]

I backed out of all attempts but one, my last attempt I laid on the floor of my shed with one disposable bbq smouldering for about 30 mins. I didn't feel any ill effects just slight light headedness when I left the shed.

It was definitely a rushed thing and I think the low quantity charcoal and cracks in the shed are why I failed. I knew my family would be home in some time so I just aborted. Most important thing I took away from the experience is that I can implement my method without panic, I recall feeling empty and despondent with no tears or strong emotion or thought either way and that's how I need to be to succeed.

 

[CatLove56]

This was on sunday and I forgot in my state we can't buy alcohol on sundays. Planned on shooting myself at 3 am on a cold and dark december night. About 2 months from now it will be a year since I attempted. No it hasn't gotten better but luckily it hasn't gotten worse either.

I remember calling a useless hotline operator who had nothing helpful to say. I posted a rant on ss on reddit and got great responses. I'm so glad this community is still here to help others even just to listen.

 

[Dani Paradox]

I've gotten close to losing consciousness with partial suspension, but I always back out at the last second. It literally feels like my body is hitting the off switch and it freaks me out, so I loosen the noose.

 

[CentreMid]

I wanted to jump into traffic, but the car stopped and thought I was trying to cross the road. I politely crossed to appear as if nothing was wrong, but when I got home I locked myself in my room and stayed there for a few hours before going back out again. Eventually I got tired of waiting for the perfect car to run me over and gave up. Now I'm here, trying to learn about other methods that might suit me. I'm considering either hanging, OD or an exit bag.

 

[CRM]

Last July (2017). Friend talked me out of it, and I later lost the will to try again. I won't make the mistake of speaking to people next time I am preparing to attempt.

I tried in 2012 as well but it was a half-assed event that I wouldn't call an attempt. Terrible method, too.

 

[dman12009]

I tried hanging myself with partial suspension. I remember not struggling for long before going out. When I passed out my belt ended up coming loose. When I woke up right afterwards I remember being so upset because I had worked so hard to get the courage and still failed. I am at the point again where I am seriously gonna try again

 

[dman12009]

I wanted to jump into traffic, but the car stopped and thought I was trying to cross the road. I politely crossed to appear as if nothing was wrong, but when I got home I locked myself in my room and stayed there for a few hours before going back out again. Eventually I got tired of waiting for the perfect car to run me over and gave up. Now I'm here, trying to learn about other methods that might suit me. I'm considering either hanging, OD or an exit bag.

Hanging is the way to go as long as you do it right. It won't last long. I know it's made out to be a scary event but really when I attempted it was only a few seconds before I went out.

 

[0blivi0n]

I've have two attempts, if we're not counting the attempt of times I've stood with a rope around my neck; tried to slit my wrists when I was a naive 14yr old & then had a failed overdose at 16.
I'm 20. & the motor way bridge looks all too appealing not to try.

 

[Made4TV]

A week ago I had everything ready just needed to pick up the nitrogen canister and the oven bag--two quick stops on the road. Tank reserved. Had the tape, elastic etc for the exit bag in the car with me...
Got talked into a short hospital stay by my (admittedly) really awesome and caring shrink. I went to a previously scheduled appointment on my way to the location because I felt like missing it would cause alarm

 

[lonelykiwi]

Few years ago, me being stupid decided to try partial suspension with an extension cord. Tied it to my bed frame & lights went out but it snapped, so i woke up on the floor with a screaming headache & ears ringing.

 

[thatguyakira123]

I literally just spent hours preparing my suicide note, fixing up my room and putting up the rope and hiding it, writing down who would get what of my possessions, only to chicken out right now. This morning all the way till this afternoon I was so ready to leave. So ready to say goodybye, to not see another day. I really don't want to see tomorrow and during writing who would get what I guess I just realized how reckless I was being.

You see I'm not home alone. My mom is here and pretty soon my asshat of a brother will be home. So fear of getting caught combined with fear of failing and survival instinct bested me. One hour from now, I was supposed to drunk a bottle of whisky to numb the fear, take a shit ton of benadryl pills and hang myself. Hell this morning I was so eager to put that rope around my neck but didn't do it even though I was home alone. It just literally didn't occur to me that I could've done it then.

My last attempt with sleeping pills failed due to the low dosages. I didn't know the right dosage and thought it was enough. I think that was two or three years ago and since then things have gotten worse. Why do my body do this to me is beyond my comprehenshon.

 

[throwaway123]

why did it fail ? what went wrong ? i have not attempted yet,my problems are recent

What I learnt from years of suffering and trying is that you just have to force yourself to CTB. If you dont you'll just postpone it forever.
Think of it in this way: yesterday you said tomorrow

 

[406blue]

It failed because it wasn't well looked into. I had read about CO poisoning about 15 years ago in a true novel, on workers and their living conditions the the early 1900s. It's called 'the ragged trousered philanthoprist'. The author describes how at some point he intends to kill himself and his family, because it would be better for them all, by taking off the lid of their charcoal heater in the night. At the time i was living on a boat with a charcoal stove so took the lid off and went to bed. Awaking in the middle of the night i felt very faint, unstable, no headache and was able to put the lid back on the thing before passing out and cracking my head on something, coming to perhaps 6 hours later and feeling spaced out, going to work.

Given that the boat was about 60m3 with a hatch that was well vented, and the heater held a kilo or so of coals, i get the impression that in an enclosed space of 5m3 with no vents, this could be extremely lethal.

The guys i worked with took the piss out of me for trying some kind of auto erotic asphyxiation because of the crack on my forehead and my spaced out demeanour. Happy days.