When I learn the news a clelebrity committed suicide I search for their name and backstory. I don't know that many celebs. One of the few that I knew prior to their suicide was Chester Bennington. I often wonder what going on in their head.
On here I had sometimes a guily conscience for not interacting enough with them. Or I wondered whether my last interaction was good or not.
At the clinic for acute suicidal patients a woman committed suicide. The staff of the clinic announced it in the morning. And this really was very heavy. I talked explicitly about suicide prior to that day with someone and I was paranoid she might listened to that conversation and that I triggered her. This theory turned out to be wrong. She was already dead when we had this conversation. But it really made me paranoid. The staff members also monitored how the different patients react to her suicide. And they said I was among the patients who seemed to be most shocked and distressed. Honestly, her roommate really really looked not well. I would not have wanted to trade shoes with her. This must be traumatizing as fuck. I think something like "Holy fucking shit I can't believe it" was going through my head. I didn't know her at all. But I did research afterwards to verify or falsify whether the trigger theory could be true. She jumped in front of a train. And I took a look in the entry book where we had to sign when we leave the clinic. And I read her last entry. It was something like "I want to take a walk in and spend time with the nature." I cannot remember the literal words.
On here I had sometimes a guily conscience for not interacting enough with them. Or I wondered whether my last interaction was good or not.
At the clinic for acute suicidal patients a woman committed suicide. The staff of the clinic announced it in the morning. And this really was very heavy. I talked explicitly about suicide prior to that day with someone and I was paranoid she might listened to that conversation and that I triggered her. This theory turned out to be wrong. She was already dead when we had this conversation. But it really made me paranoid. The staff members also monitored how the different patients react to her suicide. And they said I was among the patients who seemed to be most shocked and distressed. Honestly, her roommate really really looked not well. I would not have wanted to trade shoes with her. This must be traumatizing as fuck. I think something like "Holy fucking shit I can't believe it" was going through my head. I didn't know her at all. But I did research afterwards to verify or falsify whether the trigger theory could be true. She jumped in front of a train. And I took a look in the entry book where we had to sign when we leave the clinic. And I read her last entry. It was something like "I want to take a walk in and spend time with the nature." I cannot remember the literal words.
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