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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
For me, it's hot weather, headaches, driving, household chores, looking at my bank account, reading the news, looking at my contact list on my phone and seeing that it only consists of family members, anxiety surges, waking up from weird dreams that leave an after effect and ruin my day
 
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BrokenSoul

BrokenSoul

Member
Jul 30, 2018
16
For me it has a lot to do with my Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder. I'm anxious all the time, I have social anxiety, the lack of money, being out of work because of my anxiety, household chores, loss of relationships (friends or loved ones), people's expectations of me, not feeling good enough, too much commotion and confusion around me, disassociation.. there's many more but those are a few of the main things.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
high blood pressure 160 over 120 or higher
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
Volatile... Your mind is truly a battlefield.
 
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S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
For me it is thinking about the past. I can be busy in the moment but as soon as I stop and let my brain think it goes to dark places
 
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Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
Existing.
 
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Tomasnil

Tomasnil

Mage
Apr 24, 2018
519
Being sober, thinking, living, memories both good and bad
 
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I

itsallover

Arcanist
Jun 29, 2018
478
Fear. I start to get overwhelmed thinking I'm going to left all alone and destitute. I'm dependent on family. If that stops, then I have no problem hanging myself immediately. I wouldn't even give it a second thought or get high and drunk in order to do it. I'm not about to live on the streets when I could have accomplished so much.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
For me it has a lot to do with my Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder. I'm anxious all the time, I have social anxiety, the lack of money, being out of work because of my anxiety, household chores, loss of relationships (friends or loved ones), people's expectations of me, not feeling good enough, too much commotion and confusion around me, disassociation.. there's many more but those are a few of the main things.

Couldn't have said it any better!
 
Revan

Revan

Darth
Jul 8, 2018
73
A lot of stuff trigger suicidal urges for me; it feels like I'm constantly navigating a minefield. I have several mental illnesses that both cause and exacerbate the urges. Living in poverty certainly doesn't help either. It may sound childish, but the fact that we're not all equal also bugs me. I wish we all had the same ability, attractiveness, living standards, and etc, but this is unfortunately just a dream.

There are more reasons, but none I'm comfortable with sharing.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Romantic rejection especially or abrupt ending of relationship, if I allow my days to be exactly the same for too many days and not push myself to do something novel, body pain especially a UTI for sure, when I think about the past, present, future lol! If I watch videos on the people behind the new world order/agenda 21 or 2030 vids. When I learned that everything I was taught in school is a lie, and also not being taught anything that is very important to know, being set up for painful meaningless life.
 
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Gray Wounds

Gray Wounds

A Phantasmagoria
Jun 27, 2018
575
Everyone around me. Except for the cats.
 
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N

nuclearsnake

Student
Jul 11, 2018
145
Everything that triggers my dysphoria and reminds me that I'm ugly, being made me fun, being yelled at, being criticised, watching or reading the news, seeing others in agony, remembering my past and where I come from and pretty much everything else that comes with the burden of existence.

At this point it would be interesting to ask what doesn't trigger my suicidal thinking.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
What does that feel like?
super stressed out! dizzy, off balance, blurry vision, sweating bad, seeing stars, very angry! basically ready to kill someone. I can't stop thinking about people that have pissed me off mostly at work I basically shut down and have to sit down or lay down until the angry nervous fuzzy butterfly feeling in the middle of my chest goes away also feels like an adrenaline surge of anger. mix that with my high blood sugar as well and my body just feels really horrible and out of whack. just want to die.
 
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L

lv-gras

fledermausßßßßßßßß
Jul 27, 2018
617
Shit with parents unfortunately. Being sick from the illness. Sometimes just weird shit. Dysphoria. Trapped, or feeling how fucked up we are from the ptsd from being trapped.
 
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ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
639
cw/tw/cn: reflective surfaces, people existing
 
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lastsummer

lastsummer

Member
Jul 28, 2018
56
What trigger me the most is I knowing HOW my sister suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. Such a poor girl. I asked her if she wants to suicide with me? She said no which I respect that.
 
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IRIYAMA

IRIYAMA

Student
Apr 10, 2018
146
Mostly solid pain and being symptomatic which brings on bouts of depression.. not able to continue much longer and think in the foreseeable future, in the next slump I'll CTB..
 
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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
random ideas popping into my head which bother me and I consequently obsess over (symptom of OCD (and ADHD as well?)). Existential anxiety.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,921
Helplessness. Being unable to cope with illness due to being alone. The inevitable anxiety and depression that causes. Not having slept more than a couple of hours a night for months.

I've dealt with mental health issues all my life. Had my heart broken several times, ended my career, lost those I love, lost my home, been alone and friendless, been in a motorway crash. Never, through all of it, did I feel suicidal.

No, for me its helplessness that does it. That and the stupid hot weather.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
My problem is severe depression. My mind is a dark, dark place, and people who finally get into my head, are never the same.

Walk in my shoes for 2 days, I tell them, and see what my life is. Once the darkness comes out, and they see what they didn't want to see, I usually don't hear from them anymore. My head doctor even refused to see me any more.

As far as what triggers me....

Every. Damn. Thing.

Hell, even typing this triggered me.

Ugh life sucks.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,921
Yeah, I say that to the psych people: walk in my shoes for a day and a night, then get back to me. Then do it for a week, a month, 2 years and see if you are still giving the same crappy advice.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Yeah, I say that to the psych people: walk in my shoes for a day and a night, then get back to me. Then do it for a week, a month, 2 years and see if you are still giving the same crappy advice.

Exactly. They pretend to know how you feel, but yet has never experienced what we go through.

"Think about something that make you happy." she told me.

"Death" I replied.....

Several hours later, she refers me to another therapist, and never spoke to me again. As for the one she referred me too, he or she is still sitting in their overpriced office chair awaiting my arrival.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,921
I get this from people: "I'm going to come around and visit you as much as I can. I will, I promise, and I'll keep coming."

Guess what? Doesn't happen! You can pretty much guarantee that when someone promises, they already know its too much for them to deal with.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
I get this from people: "I'm going to come around and visit you as much as I can. I will, I promise, and I'll keep coming."

Guess what? Doesn't happen! You can pretty much guarantee that when someone promises, they already know its too much for them to deal with.

Holy fuck, that's the damn truth. I've had people tell me that too.
 
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Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
Waking up. Breathing. Thinking. Being forced to drag my ass through one tedious, and potentially stressful, day after another. So everything, basically.

stoned-gorilla_sitting-in-the-dark.jpg
 
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M

Maya

Member
Apr 24, 2018
29
My ocd. Sometimes its just life being hard but its mainly my ocd. It pushes and pushes and i can always feel when my s/h ocd is hitting it has an emotionless voice to it, and the energy pushes it brings to force action. I hate it.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,785
Frankly, at this point, everything. I'm deeply suicidal from the first glimmer of consciousness in the morning to the last ember of self-awareness at night. I was going to say human cruelty, especially towards other animals. The kind of savagery we reserve for other species just reminds me of what we are, presages what we can do to each other, laws notwithstanding. But the truth is that even without this, I'd still be suicidal because I have never--not ever--wanted to be me.
 
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