My mother found out of my self-harm for a third time. The first two times were in high school and I managed to slither around it then (I'm as confused as you are). She assumed I've moved on (first year in uni now). This time, she came over an hour after I relapsed and I forgot to clean some blood left. I admitted to feeling depressed but not to my suicidality. I like to take substances like alcohol and weed with friends which helps me be happy, but is it worth it to leave those and be sober when my friends are having fun just to take antidepressants? Is there anything I can consider while continuing taking edibles and drinking? I don't think I'd get better without antidepressants or something of that sort. My parents are worried for me and are pressuring me to get help. I don't mind getting help at this point but I want to continue taking substances. Also, my parents do not know I take any substances.
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