• Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

M

max2712

Member
Oct 26, 2020
5
please give me suggestions. I am currently immigrating to Canada, well have been for almost five years. Recently graduated from high school, with good grades too, but can't work nor go to post secondary because I don't have the correct permits. My parents are not willing to get me a working permit or study permit and I also cannot go back to Germany, the country I came from. My mom constantly gets mad at me because I legally can't work in Canada and nobody wants to deal with under the table workers here. I really don't know what to do and I've been feeling really hopeless these past five months because all my peers are working, moving out and going to uni/college while I am just stuck at home not able to do anything at all. Sorry if this texts doesn't make sense.
 
F

foxdie

Got my ticket
Aug 18, 2020
1,011
You're situation doesn't sound hopeless to me. Immigration is a slow and complicated process. Sounds to me like your mom should be more sympathetic to what you're dealing with. Why won't your parents let you get a work or study permit? Are you in Canada already? Can you not start the process on your own?
 
M

max2712

Member
Oct 26, 2020
5
You're situation doesn't sound hopeless to me. Immigration is a slow and complicated process. Sounds to me like your mom should be more sympathetic to what you're dealing with. Why won't your parents let you get a work or study permit? Are you in Canada already? Can you not start the process on your own?
I am currently in Canada yes, the problem is how expensive to apply for these things are. Since we have an agent who does it correctly for us it'll cost me $6,000 according to my mom. I don't have that much money and my mom said I won't even make that much in a year so she won't apply for it for me
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: death137 and foxdie
F

foxdie

Got my ticket
Aug 18, 2020
1,011
I am currently in Canada yes, the problem is how expensive to apply for these things are. Since we have an agent who does it correctly for us it'll cost me $6,000 according to my mom. I don't have that much money and my mom said I won't even make that much in a year so she won't apply for it for me

Ugh it's so unfair, the whole immigration process. I've had friends who had a job and wanted to stay (I'm from Canada BTW) who had to leave for arbitrary reasons. It's really upsetting. Does your mom expect you to pay her back? How does she think you'll do that if you can't study or work? She can't be reasoned with at all?
 
  • Like
Reactions: death137
Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
you need a very deep talk with your mother about your current situation and the way you feel about it, maybe ask her for advice since she is not helping you with your plans, most people find empathy when you explain your situation and meet them eye to eye. and if that doesn't work, then keep your mind away from those thoughts, there are many ways to make time go faster, try videogames, movies, shows or anything that may distract you, it really helps to soothe anxiety while you wait for something to happen. take this time as a vacation, blame it on covid, but don't beat yourself over something that you currently have very little control about.

I really don't see your situation as hopeless, it seems very distressing and I know you are suffering, but you said it yourself, you have good grades and more importantly, you clearly show a desire to move up in life and continue living it, you didn't even talked about ctb or anything related to it, and that says a lot.
 
  • Like
Reactions: death137 and foxdie
M

max2712

Member
Oct 26, 2020
5
Ugh it's so unfair, the whole immigration process. I've had friends who had a job and wanted to stay (I'm from Canada BTW) who had to leave for arbitrary reasons. It's really upsetting. Does your mom expect you to pay her back? How does she think you'll do that if you can't study or work? She can't be reasoned with at all?
I've offered to pay her back but she just keeps on bringing up how it's not worth it because I won't make that money back in a year which doesn't make sense. If I was to work min wage full time every day for 6 months straight I'd already have more than 6000 bux. Instead of helping me she just calls me lazy because I am just in bed 24/7 trying to figure out what to do
you need a very deep talk with your mother about your current situation and the way you feel about it, maybe ask her for advice since she is not helping you with your plans, most people find empathy when you explain your situation and meet them eye to eye. and if that doesn't work, then keep your mind away from those thoughts, there are many ways to make time go faster, try videogames, movies, shows or anything that may distract you, it really helps to soothe anxiety while you wait for something to happen. take this time as a vacation, blame it on covid, but don't beat yourself over something that you currently have very little control about.

I really don't see your situation as hopeless, it seems very distressing and I know you are suffering, but you said it yourself, you have good grades and more importantly, you clearly show a desire to move up in life and continue living it, you didn't even talked about ctb or anything related to it, and that says a lot.
I've tried to do these things to keep myself occupied but I've lost interest in everything by now, I got no motivation anymore for anything.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: death137 and foxdie
F

foxdie

Got my ticket
Aug 18, 2020
1,011
I've offered to pay her back but she just keeps on bringing up how it's not worth it because I won't make that money back in a year which doesn't make sense. If I was to work min wage full time every day for 6 months straight I'd already have more than 6000 bux. Instead of helping me she just calls me lazy because I am just in bed 24/7 trying to figure out what to do

I've tried to do these things to keep myself occupied but I've lost interest in everything by now, I got no motivation anymore for anything.

I agree with @Fragile, you should have a heart to heart with your mother. Try to make her understand why you're in bed all day and that you want to do the right thing. Maybe say that it's hurtful to imply you won't pay the money back and you're in need of some support right now.
 
M

max2712

Member
Oct 26, 2020
5
I agree with @Fragile, you should have a heart to heart with your mother. Try to make her understand why you're in bed all day and that you want to do the right thing. Maybe say that it's hurtful to imply you won't pay the money back and you're in need of some support right now.
It's not that I haven't tried I just can't because I know what she'll say. Last year at this exact same time I started to feel really down and stopped going to school. Talked to the school councilor who recommended me to a youth mental health facility only to get diagnosed with depression. I then had to start taking antidepressants because my doctor recommended me to and all my mom did was tell me that I was making it all up because I am lazy. I just stopped taking my medication and have been feeling the same ever since.
 
F

foxdie

Got my ticket
Aug 18, 2020
1,011
It's not that I haven't tried I just can't because I know what she'll say. Last year at this exact same time I started to feel really down and stopped going to school. Talked to the school councilor who recommended me to a youth mental health facility only to get diagnosed with depression. I then had to start taking antidepressants because my doctor recommended me to and all my mom did was tell me that I was making it all up because I am lazy. I just stopped taking my medication and have been feeling the same ever since.

That's really unfair. You're not being lazy when you're depressed, it's so frustrating trying to make others who aren't understand that. It's sounds like a really tough situation. Does your mom understand depression at all? I almost feel like you should get your doctor on with your mom for a three way call. But I know how difficult that would be. Is your dad more understanding? Could you talk to him?
 
  • Like
Reactions: death137
M

max2712

Member
Oct 26, 2020
5
That's really unfair. You're not being lazy when you're depressed, it's so frustrating trying to make others who aren't understand that. It's sounds like a really tough situation. Does your mom understand depression at all? I almost feel like you should get your doctor on with your mom for a three way call. But I know how difficult that would be. Is your dad more understanding? Could you talk to him?
I don't know about my dad I don't even feel like trying because whenever I tried to open up to them they just keep on telling me I make it up. At least my girlfriend understands what I am going through.
 
F

foxdie

Got my ticket
Aug 18, 2020
1,011
I don't know about my dad I don't even feel like trying because whenever I tried to open up to them they just keep on telling me I make it up. At least my girlfriend understands what I am going through.

It's worth a shot trying to be really honest with you dad I think. Is your girlfriend a citizen? She might be able to help, if you've been living with her, eventually you count as common law partners and that makes the immigration process a little easier. But I don't know all the nitty gritty details on that.
 

Similar threads

E
Replies
3
Views
289
Suicide Discussion
unabletocope
U
trashprincess
Replies
5
Views
146
Recovery
trashprincess
trashprincess
wildflowers1996
Replies
7
Views
207
Suicide Discussion
LoiteringClouds
LoiteringClouds
Spectre
Replies
2
Views
211
Suicide Discussion
carac
carac
C
Replies
1
Views
71
Recovery
CouldaHvBeenARock
CouldaHvBeenARock