What to do about a curse?

[snowlance]

Hello, for anyone that knows me on the discord, theyll know I'm starting to believe I might have a real curse. You should also know I'm extremely analytical, skeptical and like to have proof of things and do experiments.

Okay, so first off I wanna say, If you just respond with "You don't have one" or "It isn't real" or "Thats life" without evidence or anything I'm gonna ignore you. Try to be open minded or understand it as a hypothetical if you don't believe it. Think about how you or someone else describes depression to someone that hasn't been through it, they could never know what it's like without experiencing it themselves. Imagine how frustrating and lonely that is. I've already accepted the fact that no matter my effort, I will never be able to have meaningful relationships again, so I really don't care if people think I'm crazy. Not that I think any of you would act like this but I just wanna be sure.

TLDR: I've seen reliable proof that I have some kind of curse or demon in the form of extreme bad luck all the time. How do I fix this or remove the curse?

I wanna start by asking, what if, theoretically, you learned through repeated scenarios and experiments that magic is real and you have some kind of curse and it even affects everyone you get close to in some way. The curse is your life is like the Truman show but way worse and bad things just happen to you and people you get close to every 5 minutes depending on some unknown factor you haven't found out yet. It started at a specific date but you don't know how you got it and everyone you tell about it doesn't believe you and thinks you're crazy. As far as you know, you're almost completely alone in this. Like a time traveler seeing the world ending and trying to prove it to people in the past. They've been solid proof but everyone thinks they're crazy. So I ask this question: What in the actual fuck do you do/would you do about? How do you not start to question your beliefs and reality as a whole and eventually go insane? What would you personally do?

That's the main question and thing I want to discuss. Now to the part where most people will think I'm delusional, and maybe I am, but who knows. Since I finished college in 2016, idk how it happened, but I've gotten this curse. As far as I'm aware, it's when all my mental illness started getting worse, I lost so many friends, and the cycle started. Now I could go on to write a book about how creepy this curse has been, what proof I've found, what bad things happened, how many people I've got close to and lost, and how many times and different ways I've suffered, and how many times ive questioned my beliefs, my sanity and reality as a whole, but ill try to keep it as short as I can and explain what I've learned.

I've learned it started at that time after college. At random intervals but seemingly every 1-10 minutes, something bad happens, sometimes almost comidically. I've been thinking of trying a new experiment and keeping an official tally and stuff to be sure but it's like cartoon levels, like life is mocking me sometimes. It rises and lowers depending on something I don't know yet. (Ex. I step in some dog poop, something moves and sets off an anxiety attack, i trip and fall a few minutes later, a minute later I slam the door on my hand, etc.) Something worse happens every hour (all the chickens got out, the dog shit in the house, I fall down the stairs), and at different intervals, you get the idea. The severity sometimes depends on karma and something else I'm not sure yet. Sometimes it's a really bad stroke of bad luck, enough to cause life destroying events, at least 3 or more times a year (I lose my apartment and lifestyle for the 7th time, i lose a friend or pet forever, or the most traumatizing by far is

Spoiler: Mentions: Rape

getting raped trying to get used to selling my body for money and cant satisfy myself anymore :>

.

I'm a very skeptical and agnostic person and ive never believed in the supernatural but was open to any proof or explanations, I always wanted to believe in it and want to find out for myself for real one day with an experiment. After all, it's more interesting than anything else on this boring planet imo. But I think I dont have to go looking because it found me and I've had it for almost 10 years now.

I've built up so much and lost everything to just start over again too many times to count and my sanity is slipping. The other day I almost broke my car door cuz I snapped. Ive gone through each stage of grief, denial, tried to pretend its a video game, pleaded with it, begged, tried to make a deal with it, wondered if im getting punished from something i did i cant remember or in my past life, ignored it, fought it, experimented, despaired, and you reach this point of feeling so empty and alone and you dont know how to escape this or what to do. Like I never asked for this and I absolutely didnt want to believe it, i thought of every reasonable explanation, even confirmation bias, and I wanted more than anything for it to not be true. It's like this existential prison, with no certain exit. Ive done nothing but try to show people kindness after highschool and try my best despite the universe working against me, lost so many people and myself. I know what it's like to suffer, so I like to treat everyone like when I die and reincarnate, ill live their life as my own, so why would I want to be mean to them? In fact I've started caring about people, most of you, a lot more than myself and genuinely try to go out of my way sometimes to help if I can or feel super powerless and weak when I can't do anything. So i always wondered why? Id like to at least know that, i deserve that much. I also wondered growing up and being forced to go to church "Why do we have to pay for Adam and Eve taking the apple and making free will a thing?" If everyone was born without prior knowledge or control of past events, why should they need to reap the consequences someone made before they were born and had absolutely no control over. Ive tried to search for any reasonable explanation to this growing up and my curse and I've done some experiments to make any sense out of it, or understand it and it's creepy how consistent it is and right I was. It's like this bad luck curse or something paranormal, haunting, or possession maybe but idk. I feel so alone with this, even more so than I did with my depression, except almost nobody can relate and it's not a proven thing to exist so it feels even more isolating and alone. If anyone knows anything, or any way to get rid of this curse or demon, please lmk. I've tried everything and im desperate for answers. Anyone have any advice?

Extra: I tried to convince my mom it was real and here's how that went:

I asked "what would you do if theoretically, you found real proof that you had this curse? But you couldn't show proof to anyone around you and everyone you try to thinks you're crazy?" And she goes "idk but you don't have a curse" and I tried to be completely serious with her and I think she was too, and said "why don't you?" And she goes on to say her faith doesn't allow it...that she thinks some people like to look at the bad a lot and make a big deal out of it and i dont have one and so on and I just became so fucking dumbfounded and empty I had to lay down. She goes on to tell me I should find another lawyer and restart the entire process because my current one is taking too long on my disability, even though I told her that it has nothing to do with the lawyer and its disability that's taking so long, there's nothing he can do, there's no point and she keeps saying to at least try it and finally after she didn't believe me about the curse thing I said "I'm all alone, nobody believes me" and she sighs and goes "alright well if you need me ill be downstairs..." and I feel my connection to anyone I know now is broken completely and I feel so alienated from reality.

Extra Extra: My new experiment involves getting a smartwatch. I noticed whenever the curse happens now, I either audibly sigh or go "bruh" or "okay then" or "cool" sarcastically. So with my experience in programming, I'm not only going to use it to better keep track of my reminders and schedule and manage my stress and sleep, I'm thinking of programming it to respond to my voice and auto record a tally for each day for how many times I say or do the trigger. Ill do something similar for good stuff too so it isnt biased. That way i can actually try to get actual data of it happening and I'll have a better idea of what I'm dealing with.

 

[Whale_bones]

I can relate to some of your thoughts on this a lot. I think it's actually natural to start wondering if there's something "more" to all this when you're someone who experiences repeated, major, negative life events that most others don't. But unfortunately, religion is a major influence on training us to have that mindset of "there must be some meaning to all this" or "there must be some larger force impacting/controlling this".

You say you're a skeptic, and I'm a skeptic too, but what skepticism means to me is I don't accept a theory unless there's sufficient evidence to do so. I have an extremely rare variant of a serious genetic disease, but I'm not the only human to ever experience that. The odds of having my variant are astronomically low when you look at the Earth's population of 8 billion people, but the genetic variant exists, so a handful of people end up with it. And having this very rare version means I didn't get diagnosed until my 30s and suffered extensively because of that, but again, I'm not the only person to ever experience that.

These types of events seem incredibly pointed when they happen to us, and when there's 8 billion people in the world, it's constantly thrown in our face that it's *not* happening to them. But I'm not experiencing anything that violates the laws of physics. Neither have you, from what you've described. This actually is the way the world operates; purely chaotic and random, with no meaning, no intention or direction behind these type of events.

So, as odd as it seems from an individual perspective, it's in line with what we know of how the world works, and it's random. I've gone through quite a few times where I was close to believing there was an actual curse or conscious entity affecting things in my life, but every time I work through it using the principles of skepticism, I'm brought back to this answer.

 

[oddetoad]

I'm just gonna leave a comment here saying they truly exist so it's very possible ..

I have no idea how to remove them maybe contact an exorcist like the well known ones like Lampert

They're different but most of them seem to like to feed on fear and depression

I like your avatar btw it's funny :D

Somehow I interpret this thread like some kind of cipher in a way because what you said about Truman really resonated with me as well
I have already gone insane from that

 

[doneforlife]

It's simple. You either believe in none ( no gods or demons) or believe in both. You can't be selective and select only the negative. So if you believe in curse , you also believe in whatever God / religion you belong to and keep praying constantly to keep you safe. If you don't believe in God , there is no need to believe in curse as well.

 

[oddetoad]

I can relate to some of your thoughts on this a lot. I think it's actually natural to start wondering if there's something "more" to all this when you're someone who experiences repeated, major, negative life events that most others don't. But unfortunately, religion is a major influence on training us to have that mindset of "there must be some meaning to all this" or "there must be some larger force impacting/controlling this".

You say you're a skeptic, and I'm a skeptic too, but what skepticism means to me is I don't accept a theory unless there's sufficient evidence to do so. I have an extremely rare variant of a serious genetic disease, but I'm not the only human to ever experience that. The odds of having my variant are astronomically low when you look at the Earth's population of 8 billion people, but the genetic variant exists, so a handful of people end up with it. And having this very rare version means I didn't get diagnosed until my 30s and suffered extensively because of that, but again, I'm not the only person to ever experience that.

These types of events seem incredibly pointed when they happen to us, and when there's 8 billion people in the world, it's constantly thrown in our face that it's *not* happening to them. But I'm not experiencing anything that violates the laws of physics. Neither have you, from what you've described. This actually is the way the world operates; purely chaotic and random, with no meaning, no intention or direction behind these type of events.

So, as odd as it seems from an individual perspective, it's in line with what we know of how the world works, and it's random. I've gone through quite a few times where I was close to believing there was an actual curse or conscious entity affecting things in my life, but every time I work through it using the principles of skepticism, I'm brought back to this answer.

There's not 8 billion people
It's far far less. The numbers presented That's just a lie

It's simple. You either believe in none ( no gods or demons) or believe in both. You can't be selective and select only the negative. So if you believe in curse , you also believe in whatever God / religion you belong to and keep praying constantly to keep you safe. If you don't believe in God , there is no need to believe in curse as well.

Eh what? That's not true at all lol. You can believe in demons without all that.

 

[Soc]

I too feel I was cursed in some way. I still think back to 2017 when I was desperate to get something and managed to get it and felt I'd asked or prayed for it in a way that sacrificed my own life and successes. Since then, I've watched as first my savings were lost due to bad investment choices and other things. Then, I got addicted to a drug and lost a lot of my money, my wife and my child and life in another country. Finally my friends have gone and soon my job will go because of people turning on me. I'm living with my parents from being something good in the world. I'm just hoping to at least get my own place so I can end it and face judgement from this curse or whatever awaits me. Existence is pain.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

You could take a salt bath and try to envision the curse seeping from your body into the water. Then you can say I dissolve the curse that has been placed upon me into this water. Then you leave the bath and let the water drain.
If this doesn't help I would contact a professional.

 

[iji]

Ask an exorcist or a shaman to help you. Good luck

 

[Morte]

Things often happen to me at specific time as well and I even have moments of premonition before it happens. For example, this week before leaving home I had a strong feeling that my dog was going to disappear and I couldn't stop thinking about him, then 4 hours later my mother calls me saying that he ran away. Luckily we found him a few minutes later.

Yes, i feel like I have some evil force chasing me, a kind of negative karma.

But I still don't believe it's a "curse". I think these things happen to most people, whether good events or not. There are billions people in the world, infinite amount of events happening at the same time. Mathematically its obvious that something bizarre and seemingly supernatural must be happening to some people in the world and will happen to us too.
Life is just a sequence of random events without any meaning after all. Some people win the lottery twice in a row and others lose everything in the most bizarre and supernatural way possible. What does that mean? I think nothing. It's just how that life works with its infinite possibilites.

People tend to focus more on negative events or events that happen unexpectedly, so it can feel like you are "cursed." But try to think about everything that happens to you in the day and you will see that almost everything do not occur in a orderly manner. Only a few events happen like that and you tend to attribute a higher value to them, giving the feeling they are "supernatural".
That's what I think, I don't care if you ignore me, but honestly nothing you said proves anything its magic.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

I don't believe in curses, gnosticism, divination, animism, etc.

But, if you do, then the route to go is an exorcism. Contact your nearest Catholic priest.

I once though an ex girlfriend gave me a curse. Turns out it was just the LSD we took together and her discussing some pseudo-paranormal experience she had prior that primed my suggestible brain to think I was cursed.

I would interrogate your epistemic basis for what consists of "evidence", but hey that's up to you. Having a degree in psychology, having researched hallucinations and a unique interest in parapsychology all I will say is that the brain is incredibly suggestible and hallucinations/delusions are far more commonplace than people think.

The majority of people think they are self aware when pretty much all of us are not self aware.

 

[oddetoad]

I don't believe in curses, gnosticism, divination, animism, etc.

But, if you do, then the route to go is an exorcism. Contact your nearest Catholic priest.

I once though an ex girlfriend gave me a curse. Turns out it was just the LSD we took together and her discussing some pseudo-paranormal experience she had prior that primed my suggestible brain to think I was cursed.

I would interrogate your epistemic basis for what consists of "evidence", but hey that's up to you. Having a degree in psychology, having researched hallucinations and a unique interest in parapsychology all I will say is that the brain is incredibly suggestible and hallucinations/delusions are far more commonplace than people think.

The majority of people think they are self aware when pretty much all of us are not self aware.

You don't know that drugs open you up to demons coming inside you more easily?

 

[casual_existence]

Hello, for anyone that knows me on the discord, theyll know I'm starting to believe I might have a real curse. You should also know I'm extremely analytical, skeptical and like to have proof of things and do experiments.

Okay, so first off I wanna say, If you just respond with "You don't have one" or "It isn't real" or "Thats life" without evidence or anything I'm gonna ignore you. Try to be open minded or understand it as a hypothetical if you don't believe it. Think about how you or someone else describes depression to someone that hasn't been through it, they could never know what it's like without experiencing it themselves. Imagine how frustrating and lonely that is. I've already accepted the fact that no matter my effort, I will never be able to have meaningful relationships again, so I really don't care if people think I'm crazy. Not that I think any of you would act like this but I just wanna be sure.

TLDR: I've seen reliable proof that I have some kind of curse or demon in the form of extreme bad luck all the time. How do I fix this or remove the curse?

I wanna start by asking, what if, theoretically, you learned through repeated scenarios and experiments that magic is real and you have some kind of curse and it even affects everyone you get close to in some way. The curse is your life is like the Truman show but way worse and bad things just happen to you and people you get close to every 5 minutes depending on some unknown factor you haven't found out yet. It started at a specific date but you don't know how you got it and everyone you tell about it doesn't believe you and thinks you're crazy. As far as you know, you're almost completely alone in this. Like a time traveler seeing the world ending and trying to prove it to people in the past. They've been solid proof but everyone thinks they're crazy. So I ask this question: What in the actual fuck do you do/would you do about? How do you not start to question your beliefs and reality as a whole and eventually go insane? What would you personally do?

That's the main question and thing I want to discuss. Now to the part where most people will think I'm delusional, and maybe I am, but who knows. Since I finished college in 2016, idk how it happened, but I've gotten this curse. As far as I'm aware, it's when all my mental illness started getting worse, I lost so many friends, and the cycle started. Now I could go on to write a book about how creepy this curse has been, what proof I've found, what bad things happened, how many people I've got close to and lost, and how many times and different ways I've suffered, and how many times ive questioned my beliefs, my sanity and reality as a whole, but ill try to keep it as short as I can and explain what I've learned.

I've learned it started at that time after college. At random intervals but seemingly every 1-10 minutes, something bad happens, sometimes almost comidically. I've been thinking of trying a new experiment and keeping an official tally and stuff to be sure but it's like cartoon levels, like life is mocking me sometimes. It rises and lowers depending on something I don't know yet. (Ex. I step in some dog poop, something moves and sets off an anxiety attack, i trip and fall a few minutes later, a minute later I slam the door on my hand, etc.) Something worse happens every hour (all the chickens got out, the dog shit in the house, I fall down the stairs), and at different intervals, you get the idea. The severity sometimes depends on karma and something else I'm not sure yet. Sometimes it's a really bad stroke of bad luck, enough to cause life destroying events, at least 3 or more times a year (I lose my apartment and lifestyle for the 7th time, i lose a friend or pet forever, or the most traumatizing by far is

Spoiler: Mentions: Rape

getting raped trying to get used to selling my body for money and cant satisfy myself anymore :>

.

I'm a very skeptical and agnostic person and ive never believed in the supernatural but was open to any proof or explanations, I always wanted to believe in it and want to find out for myself for real one day with an experiment. After all, it's more interesting than anything else on this boring planet imo. But I think I dont have to go looking because it found me and I've had it for almost 10 years now.

I've built up so much and lost everything to just start over again too many times to count and my sanity is slipping. The other day I almost broke my car door cuz I snapped. Ive gone through each stage of grief, denial, tried to pretend its a video game, pleaded with it, begged, tried to make a deal with it, wondered if im getting punished from something i did i cant remember or in my past life, ignored it, fought it, experimented, despaired, and you reach this point of feeling so empty and alone and you dont know how to escape this or what to do. Like I never asked for this and I absolutely didnt want to believe it, i thought of every reasonable explanation, even confirmation bias, and I wanted more than anything for it to not be true. It's like this existential prison, with no certain exit. Ive done nothing but try to show people kindness after highschool and try my best despite the universe working against me, lost so many people and myself. I know what it's like to suffer, so I like to treat everyone like when I die and reincarnate, ill live their life as my own, so why would I want to be mean to them? In fact I've started caring about people, most of you, a lot more than myself and genuinely try to go out of my way sometimes to help if I can or feel super powerless and weak when I can't do anything. So i always wondered why? Id like to at least know that, i deserve that much. I also wondered growing up and being forced to go to church "Why do we have to pay for Adam and Eve taking the apple and making free will a thing?" If everyone was born without prior knowledge or control of past events, why should they need to reap the consequences someone made before they were born and had absolutely no control over. Ive tried to search for any reasonable explanation to this growing up and my curse and I've done some experiments to make any sense out of it, or understand it and it's creepy how consistent it is and right I was. It's like this bad luck curse or something paranormal, haunting, or possession maybe but idk. I feel so alone with this, even more so than I did with my depression, except almost nobody can relate and it's not a proven thing to exist so it feels even more isolating and alone. If anyone knows anything, or any way to get rid of this curse or demon, please lmk. I've tried everything and im desperate for answers. Anyone have any advice?

Extra: I tried to convince my mom it was real and here's how that went:

I asked "what would you do if theoretically, you found real proof that you had this curse? But you couldn't show proof to anyone around you and everyone you try to thinks you're crazy?" And she goes "idk but you don't have a curse" and I tried to be completely serious with her and I think she was too, and said "why don't you?" And she goes on to say her faith doesn't allow it...that she thinks some people like to look at the bad a lot and make a big deal out of it and i dont have one and so on and I just became so fucking dumbfounded and empty I had to lay down. She goes on to tell me I should find another lawyer and restart the entire process because my current one is taking too long on my disability, even though I told her that it has nothing to do with the lawyer and its disability that's taking so long, there's nothing he can do, there's no point and she keeps saying to at least try it and finally after she didn't believe me about the curse thing I said "I'm all alone, nobody believes me" and she sighs and goes "alright well if you need me ill be downstairs..." and I feel my connection to anyone I know now is broken completely and I feel so alienated from reality.

Extra Extra: My new experiment involves getting a smartwatch. I noticed whenever the curse happens now, I either audibly sigh or go "bruh" or "okay then" or "cool" sarcastically. So with my experience in programming, I'm not only going to use it to better keep track of my reminders and schedule and manage my stress and sleep, I'm thinking of programming it to respond to my voice and auto record a tally for each day for how many times I say or do the trigger. Ill do something similar for good stuff too so it isnt biased. That way i can actually try to get actual data of it happening and I'll have a better idea of what I'm dealing with.

Bro that's not a good experiment. Because you don't know if the curse gets triggered when you say or do ANYTHING else. Or what the curse constitutes exactly. Is it different from any bad thing that happens? What changes when these bad things are wrapped up under the construct 'curse'. Why does this happen to you and not somebody else. A similar explanation is equally valid when we simply say that bad things happen.

If you're going to use science to explain your situation you need to be ready to discount EVERYTHING until you can find a connection between some A and some B and the mechanisms between them. Which is incredibly hard. One of the reasons we do group studies instead of individual studies.

You say

The other day I almost broke my car door cuz I snapped

Is it not reasonable to say that you were stressed out in some way and therefore almost broke your car door. It's well known that stress can make us do things that we otherwise would not do.

You also mention various other misfortunes such as slamming your hand with your car door or stepping on poop. There's any number of explanations in a general sense and local sense. You weren't paying attention or you are just not a person that pays attention all that much to details.

If you start to lose friends then it's almost certain that nobody is bothering to keep up including you. Which is almost certainly because those people are busy. I mean when you have a degree and are doing your best to get a job or move ahead in a career then it would make sense that that is what takes up a good chunk of your time and it's even harder with a partner.

I'm only saying this because it's dangerous to make generalizations. They can lead to problematic situations like racism or sexism (Mexicans took all the jobs, women just want 'high' status men) or worse (genocide). Please think more carefully about your situation. I'm not saying this to dissuade you from suicide or feeling bad about your situation or whatever I'm just trying to get your analytical side (which you claim you are) to see the other possibilities that are equally valid unless proven otherwise with appropriate evidence.

 

[snowlance]

Hello, for anyone that knows me on the discord, theyll know I'm starting to believe I might have a real curse. You should also know I'm extremely analytical, skeptical and like to have proof of things and do experiments.

Okay, so first off I wanna say, If you just respond with "You don't have one" or "It isn't real" or "Thats life" without evidence or anything I'm gonna ignore you. Try to be open minded or understand it as a hypothetical if you don't believe it. Think about how you or someone else describes depression to someone that hasn't been through it, they could never know what it's like without experiencing it themselves. Imagine how frustrating and lonely that is. I've already accepted the fact that no matter my effort, I will never be able to have meaningful relationships again, so I really don't care if people think I'm crazy. Not that I think any of you would act like this but I just wanna be sure.

TLDR: I've seen reliable proof that I have some kind of curse or demon in the form of extreme bad luck all the time. How do I fix this or remove the curse?

I wanna start by asking, what if, theoretically, you learned through repeated scenarios and experiments that magic is real and you have some kind of curse and it even affects everyone you get close to in some way. The curse is your life is like the Truman show but way worse and bad things just happen to you and people you get close to every 5 minutes depending on some unknown factor you haven't found out yet. It started at a specific date but you don't know how you got it and everyone you tell about it doesn't believe you and thinks you're crazy. As far as you know, you're almost completely alone in this. Like a time traveler seeing the world ending and trying to prove it to people in the past. They've been solid proof but everyone thinks they're crazy. So I ask this question: What in the actual fuck do you do/would you do about? How do you not start to question your beliefs and reality as a whole and eventually go insane? What would you personally do?

That's the main question and thing I want to discuss. Now to the part where most people will think I'm delusional, and maybe I am, but who knows. Since I finished college in 2016, idk how it happened, but I've gotten this curse. As far as I'm aware, it's when all my mental illness started getting worse, I lost so many friends, and the cycle started. Now I could go on to write a book about how creepy this curse has been, what proof I've found, what bad things happened, how many people I've got close to and lost, and how many times and different ways I've suffered, and how many times ive questioned my beliefs, my sanity and reality as a whole, but ill try to keep it as short as I can and explain what I've learned.

I've learned it started at that time after college. At random intervals but seemingly every 1-10 minutes, something bad happens, sometimes almost comidically. I've been thinking of trying a new experiment and keeping an official tally and stuff to be sure but it's like cartoon levels, like life is mocking me sometimes. It rises and lowers depending on something I don't know yet. (Ex. I step in some dog poop, something moves and sets off an anxiety attack, i trip and fall a few minutes later, a minute later I slam the door on my hand, etc.) Something worse happens every hour (all the chickens got out, the dog shit in the house, I fall down the stairs), and at different intervals, you get the idea. The severity sometimes depends on karma and something else I'm not sure yet. Sometimes it's a really bad stroke of bad luck, enough to cause life destroying events, at least 3 or more times a year (I lose my apartment and lifestyle for the 7th time, i lose a friend or pet forever, or the most traumatizing by far is

Spoiler: Mentions: Rape

getting raped trying to get used to selling my body for money and cant satisfy myself anymore :>

.

I'm a very skeptical and agnostic person and ive never believed in the supernatural but was open to any proof or explanations, I always wanted to believe in it and want to find out for myself for real one day with an experiment. After all, it's more interesting than anything else on this boring planet imo. But I think I dont have to go looking because it found me and I've had it for almost 10 years now.

I've built up so much and lost everything to just start over again too many times to count and my sanity is slipping. The other day I almost broke my car door cuz I snapped. Ive gone through each stage of grief, denial, tried to pretend its a video game, pleaded with it, begged, tried to make a deal with it, wondered if im getting punished from something i did i cant remember or in my past life, ignored it, fought it, experimented, despaired, and you reach this point of feeling so empty and alone and you dont know how to escape this or what to do. Like I never asked for this and I absolutely didnt want to believe it, i thought of every reasonable explanation, even confirmation bias, and I wanted more than anything for it to not be true. It's like this existential prison, with no certain exit. Ive done nothing but try to show people kindness after highschool and try my best despite the universe working against me, lost so many people and myself. I know what it's like to suffer, so I like to treat everyone like when I die and reincarnate, ill live their life as my own, so why would I want to be mean to them? In fact I've started caring about people, most of you, a lot more than myself and genuinely try to go out of my way sometimes to help if I can or feel super powerless and weak when I can't do anything. So i always wondered why? Id like to at least know that, i deserve that much. I also wondered growing up and being forced to go to church "Why do we have to pay for Adam and Eve taking the apple and making free will a thing?" If everyone was born without prior knowledge or control of past events, why should they need to reap the consequences someone made before they were born and had absolutely no control over. Ive tried to search for any reasonable explanation to this growing up and my curse and I've done some experiments to make any sense out of it, or understand it and it's creepy how consistent it is and right I was. It's like this bad luck curse or something paranormal, haunting, or possession maybe but idk. I feel so alone with this, even more so than I did with my depression, except almost nobody can relate and it's not a proven thing to exist so it feels even more isolating and alone. If anyone knows anything, or any way to get rid of this curse or demon, please lmk. I've tried everything and im desperate for answers. Anyone have any advice?

Extra: I tried to convince my mom it was real and here's how that went:

I asked "what would you do if theoretically, you found real proof that you had this curse? But you couldn't show proof to anyone around you and everyone you try to thinks you're crazy?" And she goes "idk but you don't have a curse" and I tried to be completely serious with her and I think she was too, and said "why don't you?" And she goes on to say her faith doesn't allow it...that she thinks some people like to look at the bad a lot and make a big deal out of it and i dont have one and so on and I just became so fucking dumbfounded and empty I had to lay down. She goes on to tell me I should find another lawyer and restart the entire process because my current one is taking too long on my disability, even though I told her that it has nothing to do with the lawyer and its disability that's taking so long, there's nothing he can do, there's no point and she keeps saying to at least try it and finally after she didn't believe me about the curse thing I said "I'm all alone, nobody believes me" and she sighs and goes "alright well if you need me ill be downstairs..." and I feel my connection to anyone I know now is broken completely and I feel so alienated from reality.

Extra Extra: My new experiment involves getting a smartwatch. I noticed whenever the curse happens now, I either audibly sigh or go "bruh" or "okay then" or "cool" sarcastically. So with my experience in programming, I'm not only going to use it to better keep track of my reminders and schedule and manage my stress and sleep, I'm thinking of programming it to respond to my voice and auto record a tally for each day for how many times I say or do the trigger. Ill do something similar for good stuff too so it isnt biased. That way i can actually try to get actual data of it happening and I'll have a better idea of what I'm dealing with.

I really really want to believe this. And I'm not saying I fully believe it's a curse either. I still question things everyday, but the more I try to deny it isn't a curse, the more crazy I feel, like something isn't right. While you have a rare disorder and other people have it to, that means it wasn't discovered yet, so it's entirely possible you could be going through something similar to me and everyone thinks your faking it or making stuff up or crazy but it's a very real thing that just hasn't been discovered yet, or the symptoms are on a case by case basis or vaguely talked about, or the signs and stuff arent obvious enough to make it a real illness. The same can be same for curses and the supernatural. Nobody can shoe solid proof it exists but...nobody has proof it doesn't either. Why do we hear things like "if you find a four leaf clover you get good luck" and hear so much about ghosts and aliens in media and real life? Because it isn't discovered yet and there isn't solid proof it doesn't. And the same goes here, maybe it's not a curse and I'm just overthrowing it or something, but I've reached the point of trying almost anything, even if they might seem crazy or unlikely to work. I've stopped caring about if it's there or proving it and I'm focused on trying to be open to any potential solutions before i give up and kill myself but even then, if it is a curse, I could just continue being cursed in the afterlife if I'm wrong and eternity in hell or torture in general is terrifying.

I'm just gonna leave a comment here saying they truly exist so it's very possible ..

I have no idea how to remove them maybe contact an exorcist like the well known ones like Lampert

They're different but most of them seem to like to feed on fear and depression

I like your avatar btw it's funny :D

Somehow I interpret this thread like some kind of cipher in a way because what you said about Truman really resonated with me as well
I have already gone insane from that

Thank you <3 and I'm going insane too

It's simple. You either believe in none ( no gods or demons) or believe in both. You can't be selective and select only the negative. So if you believe in curse , you also believe in whatever God / religion you belong to and keep praying constantly to keep you safe. If you don't believe in God , there is no need to believe in curse as well.

But how do you know if curses and god or the super

It's simple. You either believe in none ( no gods or demons) or believe in both. You can't be selective and select only the negative. So if you believe in curse , you also believe in whatever God / religion you belong to and keep praying constantly to keep you safe. If you don't believe in God , there is no need to believe in curse as well.

Th

I too feel I was cursed in some way. I still think back to 2017 when I was desperate to get something and managed to get it and felt I'd asked or prayed for it in a way that sacrificed my own life and successes. Since then, I've watched as first my savings were lost due to bad investment choices and other things. Then, I got addicted to a drug and lost a lot of my money, my wife and my child and life in another country. Finally my friends have gone and soon my job will go because of people turning on me. I'm living with my parents from being something good in the world. I'm just hoping to at least get my own place so I can end it and face judgement from this curse or whatever awaits me. Existence is pain.

That actually reminds me and makes me wonder if the curse is what I think it is and maybe I got it this way but I obviously don't have proof, but you reminded me of how I kept pleading with God a lot. I would make deals all the time like "I'll go to church if my friend is still alive and believe in you" and it eventually turned into "how can I believe you if you don't give me proof?" And "why do these people have it good when I've tried to be a good person all my life and get this" to this day. That's the pain of being agnostic, you'll never fucking know. If we knew for sure it'd be all over the news, we would have no other religions, and God being real would be a matter of fact, but even nowadays I don't think we would know even if we have solid proof because if there's always gonna be people claiming it was fake, hallucinations, mass hysteria, fake footage, or something else and everyone that truly knows would be called crazy. Unless the evidence is too strong to ignore, it'll always have 2 sides. I mean we still have people thinking the world is flat and the moon landing was fake.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

You don't know that drugs open you up to demons coming inside you more easily?

Having done every drug you can probably think of, studied and researched hallucinogens and psychopharmacology, religious and ethnocultural uses of drugs, etc. etc. I am confident that drugs do not open people up to demons.

Unless demons are simply an analogy to personal demons that already exist, then yes drugs can confront us with our own subconscious psychological challenges.

That is perhaps the beauty of psychedelics. "Demons teach, instruct, and inspire men; there never was a man of outstanding stature in any art or action who had no familiar spirit to guide him" - Paracelsus

Besides, 99% of society uses drugs (e.g., alcohol, methylxanthines in coffee, tea, and chocolate, nicotine). Our cultural conceptions of "drugs" exposing people to "demons" are probably related more to moralistic judeochristian and drug war values versus real-world chemical structures, drug use patterns, and socioemotional relationships with drugs that vary substantially.

I would interrogate these underlying prejudices internalized by false drug hierarchies in the dominant culture.

Unless you think that a cup of tea or some chocolate causes demonic possession too?

 

[oddetoad]

Having done every drug you can probably think of, studied and researched hallucinogens and psychopharmacology, religious and ethnocultural uses of drugs, etc. etc. I am confident that drugs do not open people up to demons.

Unless demons are simply an analogy to personal demons that already exist, then yes drugs can confront us with our own subconscious psychological challenges.

That is perhaps the beauty of psychedelics. "Demons teach, instruct, and inspire men; there never was a man of outstanding stature in any art or action who had no familiar spirit to guide him" - Paracelsus

Besides, 99% of society uses drugs (e.g., alcohol, methylxanthines in coffee, tea, and chocolate, nicotine). Our cultural conceptions of "drugs" exposing people to "demons" are probably related more to moralistic judeochristian and drug war values versus real-world chemical structures, drug use patterns, and socioemotional relationships with drugs that vary substantially.

I would interrogate these underlying prejudices internalized by false drug hierarchies in the dominant culture.

Unless you think that a cup of tea or some chocolate causes demonic possession too?

You have no idea what you're talking about but I'm not expecting much from a computer program tbh ;)

 

[Rhizomorph1]

You have no idea what you're talking about but I'm not expecting much from a computer program tbh ;)

Oof. Aren't we all

There's not much difference in the end, when you start speaking in tongues.

Mine clothes these here are at least measurably reducing the belly ache tum tums

Which clothing do you prefer? Do you think you're different? Il speak your language if you wish oh man of wise away with the mist.

But only on principle to help ease the pain. Il happily put my head back on straight if it does the same.

 

[Whale_bones]

I really really want to believe this. And I'm not saying I fully believe it's a curse either. I still question things everyday, but the more I try to deny it isn't a curse, the more crazy I feel, like something isn't right. While you have a rare disorder and other people have it to, that means it wasn't discovered yet, so it's entirely possible you could be going through something similar to me and everyone thinks your faking it or making stuff up or crazy but it's a very real thing that just hasn't been discovered yet, or the symptoms are on a case by case basis or vaguely talked about, or the signs and stuff arent obvious enough to make it a real illness. The same can be same for curses and the supernatural. Nobody can shoe solid proof it exists but...nobody has proof it doesn't either. Why do we hear things like "if you find a four leaf clover you get good luck" and hear so much about ghosts and aliens in media and real life? Because it isn't discovered yet and there isn't solid proof it doesn't. And the same goes here, maybe it's not a curse and I'm just overthrowing it or something, but I've reached the point of trying almost anything, even if they might seem crazy or unlikely to work. I've stopped caring about if it's there or proving it and I'm focused on trying to be open to any potential solutions before i give up and kill myself but even then, if it is a curse, I could just continue being cursed in the afterlife if I'm wrong and eternity in hell or torture in general is terrifying.

Yes, my rare variant wasn't discovered until recently, and many doctors who even specialize in the field still aren't aware of it until they look it up. So I definitely had to deal with extreme mental pressure of thinking I was going crazy and doing everything I could to stay sane until I was diagnosed. But following the principles of skepticism, I need evidence, which is something that can be repeatedly and reliably observed by others, to accept a claim.

So even though I was experiencing extreme things in my body, like losing my ability to walk, I had to remain with the overarching theory of "I don't know" until I had proof. I had to accept that I might die without proof. I now have scientific studies that recognize the gene mutation and form of muscular dystrophy I have, but I know it's pure luck that I got a gene test that happened to find the relevant gene, and I could just as easily have died without ever knowing the truth.

The scientific method doesn't work by saying "well there's no proof it's *not* true" because that's a non-testable claim; people make that argument for God existing, and it's something that can never be tested, just like we can't disprove that our world is actually run by giant pixies who live inside the sun. You could come up with any idea, and if there's no way to test it, then you have to remain with the default of "I don't know". But if there's no evidence (that is, something that can be repeatedly and reliably observed by others) then there's no reason to move beyond that to thinking it's in any way true or likely.

Things like four leaf clovers and ghost tales all have a long history from the particular cultures they come from, and stem from times when people had no access to the scientific methods we have now. They often couldn't test their theories, and overall they had much less understanding of how the world works than we do now. But they were human just like us, so for people who experienced awful things and were desperate for answers, they wanted to believe they had some control or influence over it, like changing their luck with a four leaf clover or getting to speak to a loved one again through a ghost. It's a very human instinct that has existed for as long as we've been around, but now we have access to methods to actually test if many of these things are real.

 

[skaro]

Have you ever had paranormal experiences, like inexplicable sounds, UFOs, anything of that nature?
I've seen a ufo from 100 meters away when i was a kid, huge black cylinder spinning above me, and similarly most people call me crazy, so I really feel you.

 

[MrDarkness]

i think it can just be bad luck or just stuff falling apart which is the natural cycle of life, i aint saying your mental illnesses/depression is bad luck, as those have factors of their own, personal i used to think i had bad luck with friends but tbh, i wasnt a good person, ive done some shitty things, maybe your friends left for different reasons idk. people lose friends all the time for all sorts of reasons. but i wish the best for you and your future