Venting What the .... is going on ???

[Deleted member 1465]

Brilliant! I just got out of bed and did a little happy dance when I read that. Ta da dam!
Okay so I had to go to the loo anyway but I danced on the way.
Really happy for you, this guy sounds like a decent fella.

 

[nitrogen]

So I was moved through several safe houses *Quarky on the run* (while milking information from manager). It's a flat and I'll be sleeping in the living room for few days until they find me permanent room.

There's TONS of food here. En masse. Huge trays. Freshly baked and delicious.

YAY!!!

Yeah nitro, it's really annoying that I have the capabilities and will to do lots of things -- just disabled (without assistance;)

Awwww. Hmmm, I'm good at psychologically trampling people, but not saying sentimental stuff without a massive brain freeze. I just hope I can give you a 3 Mississippi long hug, pat your back and say "there, there."



Btw, I hate my username. Call me sunshine or nightmare or crazy or whatever, but no nitro.

 

[Quarky00]

not saying sentimental stuff

Just punch me on the nose and call me Shirley ; sentiments are for humanoids . Lucky I'm not near you as we'd be planning some killing spree by now lol

I had to go to the loo anyway

You're not suppose to laugh , dance , or move your pelvis too much I will try to help by only posting sad stories (remove more fluids through tearful eyes!)

~

Okay this will be my last update on this thread . Maslow's cliche works here -- I'm now physically incapacitated due to yesterday's events and accumulative insomnia (ups and downs we all know). This place is full of 50 years old Russians , previous house was mostly Arabs and people in their 30s (some 20s). Though it was fun and I miss the young people, vibe, cat (!), and backyard (!) -- this place is much calmer. It is close to where I lived before . It is clean and well-equipped.

I'm a bit scared but I guess that's just the situation. Place lacks privacy. But okay for now (Maslow). When they find me permanent residence I'd have a roommate and this would be a serious problem. Hope to recover before I get moved, packing and traveling is bad for body. Bit hard to sleep but better than the streets , I generally feel okay . I signed a bunch of papers and I have to pay tomorrow .

I MISS PENTHOUSE

On my last day there I took an open shower. Place is so well built and well heated that I opened the rooms to the roof-patio -- and showered to the skies . It's notable because it's cold and raining. This was an extraordinary experience that revitalized me. I know living conditions are meaningless for some of is and our depression (me included) , but I now think "penthouse week" would have seriously helped most members . You don't become 'happy' but much more comfortable and at ease . You get 3h massage (no humans involved) and it helps physical pain etc.


~


Where I live and how it's managed :

• Normal privately owned 4-bedrooms city flat .
• Tenants pay rent + food (delivered daily) in one combined payment.
• NGO lowered their costs to around ½ of what it usually costs ; pretty low sum .
• Nothing is "given" .. I pay 70% of that sum in cash .
  • 30% is paid through government "Homeless Assistance Rent Grants" ; it is extremely complicated , flimsy , and rare .

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Well it sounds like a far better situation than the one you were in. Here's hoping the longer term solution is okay too.

 

[ghostspace]

You should write a book about your experiences, your writing voice is so entertaining to read even though the content is grim. I'm really glad things are a bit better now, I wish you warmth and safety.

 

[Quarky00]

Oh how quickly things change ....

20h off the streets during my first meal -- pulled from table and told to organize my stuff and why I did not pay yet . Answered kindly and asked what else to do . "You're intelligent , you know what to do" (this wasn't said with a smile).

Yesterday after I offered to help member of staff, she laughed: "I don't need help, thank God. You need help".

Sorry that's uncalled for and I recognize abusive patterns. Never stop a starving person from eating. They are not bad people but I'm keeping an open eye. In addition the heating is broken. I can survive. I'm not saying "better than streets" because I've learned from past abusive relationships this justifies staying in a bad place. If this is the daily routine I find it distressing and unsustainable. For now I'm fine.

I thought I'd get at least one day of peace

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Aw crap, you deserve a break. Maybe someone was just having a bad day. Keep at it.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I won't be able to post more updates -- I'm going through these "8 stages of grief"

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Sorry for joking , grief is not funny but devastating (closest friend lost to cancer). Anyway this stupid thing is helping my pain, well, after 2h of pounding my aching body. It helps. I feel bad posting this when everybody are miserable. I'm still miserable, just with a bit more physical comfort. I can't "enjoy" things.

Shelter interview went well. I was harassed by this menacing member of staff ( this one's for you @Jean4 ) . I loved animals but sadly couldn't care less in recent years. Kitty there jumped on me.
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Shelter manager said: "Sure the system won't treat you -- intelligent person, so they think you can handle things. Poor you". I was surprised.

"Presidential suite" or "penthouse" was a hoax! Again poor ol' Quarky was deceived. Just a suite with a roof patio, massage bed, Jacuzzi (not working damn), etc. Who am I kidding this is amazing (40$ a night). Pictures do injustice. That bed is crazy. Patio is amazing. So is the view, 360. Jaw dropped. Sat outside mumbling "what the fuck" like a crazy person.... (which I am anyway)

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View attachment 26859

Again I apologize for posting that in the suicide section, inappropriate and dumb...

Despite everything I'm detached & dissociative -- depression, hello. Recent extremes made it stronger. Need some peace soon, though not ctb, unless cornered (unlikely). I know things appear to be "getting better" but no reason to joy.. Nothing has turned around. My conditions are still there and I've had enough. Physical pain comes and goes, as usual. Going to shelter in 2 days . It's intimidating , people there are not well , I will have a roommate , not much privacy , and everyone are urging me to get hospitalized (stressful). Meanwhile trying to enjoy hour by hour , recuperating , occassional half-smile mixed with sorrow & gloom

Wooooooowwww! Don't ever feel guilty @Quarky00 for having a taste of life's pleasures..I personally have been given hope thru ur turn-around in life, even if it is only "temporary". Who knows? Enjoy it n let ur gratefulness attract more "coincidences"..Continue to share n give hope, Bestie.