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notsosillybilly

notsosillybilly

dear princess celestia i wanna kms
Apr 8, 2026
43
i go from wanting to genuinely die, to wanting to live for my friends, to hating them, loving them again, and it just keeps repeating. not only is it exhausting but it's fucking annoying too. but at the same time i'm probably manic so...
 
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Reactions: Lost in a Dream and yuihinafan
H

hdead

Mage
Jun 2, 2026
578
I relate. Might be BPD? I don't like labels but at this point I'm also just raking in explanations.
 
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Reactions: yuihinafan and notsosillybilly
fadedghost

fadedghost

Found SaSu after reading BBC & watching YouTube
Dec 10, 2025
927
i go from wanting to genuinely die, to wanting to live for my friends, to hating them, loving them again, and it just keeps repeating. not only is it exhausting but it's fucking annoying too. but at the same time i'm probably manic so...
if you don't have add/adhd, have you tried meditation? it's boring as fuck, but is apparently centering.
 
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Reactions: yuihinafan
Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
2,243
I'm in the same boat honestly and it really sucks. I both love and hate the people in my life because they want me to stay alive, but to do so for them just means more suffering for me so honestly I'm just gonna kill myself regardless.

Regarding the title of the thread, I don't think you are the one with the problem, it's the people in your life who have a problem. If they truly respected your desire to not suffer anymore, they would support your right to die on your own terms.
 

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