Venting What the fuck am I supposed to do

[MadamPsychoSexy]

I feel like everything should be okay. I tried to kill myself a while back but it didn't work, and since then I've got a partner who's amazing, I'm finally regularly gigging which has always been my dream, and still every fucking day I wake up and I just feel fucking empty. All the fucking time. It's like I'm incapable of feeling emotions at all apart from when the voices are screaming at me and I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do or how I'm expected to deal with it. It's been like this since I was probably 13 and people always say to wait as things will get better but they just fucking don't. I don't know why I'm writing this. I might slit my wrists or something tonight

 

[Meteora]

Have you ever been at a psychologist/psychiatrist? I know, its f*ck*d up to go there, but maybe you suffer from some mental illness. Knowing what is wrong is easier that having no clue.

 

[MadamPsychoSexy]

Have you ever been at a psychologist/psychiatrist? I know, its f*ck*d up to go there, but maybe you suffer from some mental illness. Knowing what is wrong is easier that having no clue.

Countless times. They don't do shit

 

[Meteora]

Countless times. They don't do shit

No possible diagnosis? When I got my first diagnosis I was truly relieved, I bought a book and finally felt like there's an explanation for my problems.

 

[MadamPsychoSexy]

No possible diagnosis? When I got my first diagnosis I was truly relieved, I bought a book and finally felt like there's an explanation for my problems.

I have been diagnosed with numerous things, and I have been undergoing "therapy" for years. It's just it doesn't do fucking anything

 

[Linda]

Despite your negative exprinces with therapists, I think it would be worth trying again. It's probably just a matter of finding the right therapist, one who can at least give you an explanation of why you feel the way you do. There are a lot disorders that can make you unable to feel emotions, but it would need a professional psychiatrist to figure out which one applies in our case. Your first step is to get a proper diagnosis. Getting a cure, or treatment - if either is possible - can wait.

"I have been diagnosed with numerous things" That suggests they haven't diagnosed you properly. The odds are that you have one condition, not numerous conditions.

 

[MadamPsychoSexy]

I am diagnosed with shit. I've been trying different types of therapy/treatment for years. I don't really know why I messaged here honestly

 

[hikikomorizombie]

sorry for the replies pushing therapy onto u. u think u could escape that in a place like SaSu, but ig not. i can unfortunately relate to not being able to feel anything no matter what, except the negative shit. i've also been to numerous therapists, psychologists, psychotherapists, counselors, & psychiatrists. you're 100% right, they don't do shit. it actually aggravates me when i think abt all the $ i drained into the scam that is the mental health system, lmao. i don't really have anything helpful to say/suggest since i'm obv still here & still suffering, lol, but i wish u luck<333