What started your downward spiral?

[L951788]

I'm 25 and basically done completing the spiral now. I'd say the spiral started at 5 when my parents started doctor shopping me to psychologists thinking I had a disorder for normal kid behavior. All the psychologists said there was nothing wrong with me. Eventually was brought to a psychiatrist where of course I was given an antipsychotic and antidepressant. At 9 I was on those plus ANOTHER antipsychotic.

After years of getting good grades and doing well in sports I started getting health problems and of course wasn't believed and sent to a psychiatric program instead. That derailed my real life. I was 17. Ruined everything. Wasn't believed even when a doctor proved I had food allergies. Parents said he was just scamming me and I needed different psych meds.

Oh well. I just joined this site the other day and already ordered SN and the other materials. I'll be doing it soon I believe.

And tbh, I'll just go ahead and say it. I advocate for direct violence against psychiatrists and the people forcing you or someone you know to be drugged. It is an evil and unbeatable dynamic in modern society. The only thing that really reaches people is direct confrontation. Just saying. I've also been homicidal and have thought about slaughtering my childhood psychiatrist as well as my mother. But I'm not going down that route because I'd take death over prison. They'd have a hard time arresting me alive, though.

This whole post right here is an example of what a life like this makes somebody. And to finish it off, here's my med list over my life, basically entirely unilaterally driven by my mom. (Who I have a no contact order against thankfully).

 

[WornOutLife]

That's certainly a lot of med! I'm really sorry for you!
I hope you feel better soon.

As for me, my downward spiral started when I was 12 and high school started. Such a hell!!!

 

[plough22]

Have to be nearly 4 years, someone went out to destroy me, lost someone I loved and then slowly went into decline. I'm holding barely together, broken.

 

[L951788]

Also I may add that Risperdal gave me gynecomastia. What's the worst thing you can do to a girl? Maybe give her facial hair. What's the worst thing you can do to a guy? Give him breasts.

Utter bullshit. And I lost my ability to sue Johnson & Johnson at age 20 so I'm out of luck.

You know, on second thought. As a man. There's still a chance certain people get executed by me. I'm not taking it.

 

[L951788]

Allllllso...my mom wanted to give my 9-week-old puppy psych meds.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Your mom sounds like a lunatic.
The girl I was going to marry was all messed up from a lifetime of psyche drugs. Her dad was a psychiatrist. He had a drug for everything. Scrambled her poor brain.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

[L951788]

The girl I was going to marry was all messed up from a lifetime of psyche drugs. Her dad was a psychiatrist. He had a drug for everything. Scrambled her poor brain.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.

My brain feels extremely scrambled too. I just stay numb as an instinct at this point. But my cognitive abilities, creativity, and ability to feel emotion are just destroyed.
May I ask how that girl is doing? Did her brain stay "scrambled"?

 

[SadJessu]

I can relate to the psych drugs. At 14 I fell in love with my teacher, my parents went nuts and took me to various doctors who prescribed things like Risperdal just because I had Autism. I needed none of it and it caused permanent physical damage, God knows what it did to my brain. As an adult I function on low dose Luvox for OCD, though sometimes I wonder if I would have had severe OCD in the first place had I not been constantly doped up with my parents trying to numb my feelings with drugs.

That being said, my spiral began around 2015. I was in university and started to sink into depression. I was unhappy in my relationship, though I didn't know it at that time. I started to see life and humanity for what it was. I'd had previous bouts of severe mental illness, but this was different. There was a palpable sense of utter hopelessness. I went on to develop a severe sleep disorder, to compound everything else. It's been downhill from there.

Also I may add that Risperdal gave me gynecomastia. What's the worst thing you can do to a girl? Maybe give her facial hair. What's the worst thing you can do to a guy? Give him breasts.

Utter bullshit. And I lost my ability to sue Johnson & Johnson at age 20 so I'm out of luck.

You know, on second thought. As a man. There's still a chance certain people get executed by me. I'm not taking it.

I'm a female who was given Risperdal for no particular reason as a teenager. It did a lot of damage honestly, my breasts went from somewhat small to massive in a short period. A lot of people probably say 'oh lucky you' or whatever, but it was dreadful. My GP thought I might have cancer because of sudden lactation in a 15 year old. Needless to say after being poked and prodded I found I was suffering from the side effects of the meds. I was taken off of them, but my breasts never went back to normal. So I deal with constant tenderness, leaking, and infections. It's probably not as psychologically damaging as being a boy who grows breasts, but it still ruined a good bit of my body image.

 

[Good4Nothing]

My brain feels extremely scrambled too. I just stay numb as an instinct at this point. But my cognitive abilities, creativity, and ability to feel emotion are just destroyed.
May I ask how that girl is doing? Did her brain stay "scrambled"?

I don't know how she's doing. I broke up with her and we went our separate ways.
She may have killed herself by now. I hope she got married and is taken care of.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Q: What started your downward spiral?
​

 

[MrBlue]

I'm really sorry about your parents, it's mad that anyone would even think about giving a child such strong medication, especially when there wasn't a severe issue with your behaviour. Are you living with them now, or were you able to get away at 18? I really hope that things start to get better for you OP, you've been through the wringer.

My own downward spiral started by getting unjustly taken away from my parents at 9. It was overturned eventually but it intensified my mental health 'quirks' to actual issues, which then led to bullying throughout my teens.

I thought I'd hit a plateau at 15 until a year later, when I had nervous breakdown over whether I smelled or not (still don't know if I do). As a 22 year old who has no friends and never been in a relationship, or held a job, I'm pretty much at rock bottom now.

 

[Wrennie]

I'm 25 and basically done completing the spiral now. I'd say the spiral started at 5 when my parents started doctor shopping me to psychologists thinking I had a disorder for normal kid behavior. All the psychologists said there was nothing wrong with me. Eventually was brought to a psychiatrist where of course I was given an antipsychotic and antidepressant. At 9 I was on those plus ANOTHER antipsychotic.

After years of getting good grades and doing well in sports I started getting health problems and of course wasn't believed and sent to a psychiatric program instead. That derailed my real life. I was 17. Ruined everything. Wasn't believed even when a doctor proved I had food allergies. Parents said he was just scamming me and I needed different psych meds.

Oh well. I just joined this site the other day and already ordered SN and the other materials. I'll be doing it soon I believe.

And tbh, I'll just go ahead and say it. I advocate for direct violence against psychiatrists and the people forcing you or someone you know to be drugged. It is an evil and unbeatable dynamic in modern society. The only thing that really reaches people is direct confrontation. Just saying. I've also been homicidal and have thought about slaughtering my childhood psychiatrist as well as my mother. But I'm not going down that route because I'd take death over prison. They'd have a hard time arresting me alive, though.

This whole post right here is an example of what a life like this makes somebody. And to finish it off, here's my med list over my life, basically entirely unilaterally driven by my mom. (Who I have a no contact order against thankfully).

View attachment 57907

Psychiatry utterly decimated my life too. I am a eunuch with Tardive Dyskinesia and was forcibly drugged by my parents each day. If not for drugs I know I could've gone on to live a normal life... but now I'm screwed. I couldn't take the pain anymore so I jumped off of a building (the drug I was on at the time of the attempt lowered my inhibitions and made it possible). Naturally I failed and am still here... and my parents used that as an excuse to put me on even more drugs. My life is a living Hell because of those demons in white coats.

 

[JayDog]

What started my downward spiral? Well that is the question I ask myself often.
I think genetics definitely have role, but having a terrible mother that I never loved definitely helps to that.
I'd say I started falling at around 12 when my anxiety became way more serious. Puberty just hit me real hard and shortly after that came high school that was like pouring gasoline on an open fire for my head.

 

[Going Home]

I trusted untrustworthy people.

 

[mado]

Maybe it was that my parents were neglectful in practice.
Dad kinda sociopathic and not ivolved, mom with an autoimmune disorder so she just can't bethere as well.
But my sibling turned out alright so that cant be all of it.
Maybe the fact that im a literal bastard is part of it so dad didnt give as much of a shit abt me.
Didnt do well in school or take care of myself so i was already at a disadvantage coming out of high school.
Should have kept working at my graphic arts major in college instead of dropping out and gullibly joining my con artist friends startup business.
Then i wouldnt have gotten raped at age 22 by one of the phd expats they brought in.
MAybe if i had tried harder at my 2nd try at college then it could have worked out
or if i hadnt ended up making my workplace hostile towards me after moving back home
but regardless i ended up dropping out and quitting and sinking into depression until my dad kicked me out for being to loud at night bc i had insomnia
so i moved in w my mom and became a neet
and even after that i could still socialize w people online but my online friends convinced me to get antidepressants and stuff
it ended up changing my personality in a way that ruined all my friendships and led to a really bad falling out so, now i dont trust people
all this has led me to being and extremely isolated and alone person.
looking back im really not sure where it went wrong,m i think i might just have been broken from the start

 

[AutoTap]

My anxiety, depression, and autism spectrum disorder. I'm constantly so anxious that I can't function. Constantly so depressed that I have no energy. ASD feeds into both and also makes me anxious about socializing and etc..

So yeh :( I'm pretty much just trying to recover... hopefully finding a med that helps me..

But in the mean time I'm looking for a way to ctb that is quick, relatively painless, and that doesn't disfigure me completely.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

being born tbh

 

[Nymph]

My downward spiral started around 14 when my depression, anxiety+Panic attacks hit, then it just got worse over time. I've been on various meds over time but none seem to be "perfect". I've been having some compulsive habits problems last 2 years too..
I've also always struggled with my identify and some time ago I realized I'm trans. Dysphoria is another problem...honestly I wish transsexuals didn't exist in a way cause if I wasn't trans and just born the gender I was supposed to be, everything would be better..I hate this shit