Help What should I do?

[castor_0630]

I have a perfect opportunity tonight. No one will be at home until tomorrow morning. I planned on jumping. I thought of consuming alcohol so that I won't be in my right mind and to numb the SI. I thought of doing it someday later in this month. But now that I think of it, today I have an opportunity to do it. But something is telling me not to. My anxiety is slowly growing. The voices are strongly telling me not to do it today. I'm in a dilemma. I already tried twice and failed, first - partial hanging standing on the edge of my chair but slipped at the wrong time, SI kicked in. Second - tried to jump and prepared myself for like an hour but couldn't when I saw the ground from above. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror every time I failed. Please help me

 

[StolenLife]

You are the only one who can decide whether or not you should try ctbing. Jumping takes a lot of courage and it's very SI inducing. Maybe neither of those methods are for you, and that's okay. If you feel this nervous about it, I'd suggest not to. When it's time and place, you'll know. How high is it? You said that you already tried jumping. Maybe this time take alcohol and go back to that place just to see if there's any difference with or without alcohol regarding the SI, you don't have to do it immidiately.

 

[FuneralCry]

Failing ctb certainly sounds so horrible to me, I hate how it's so difficult to die in this world. But anyway I think that the point of this site is to respect people's decisions that they've already chosen for themselves rather than telling them what to do. It's your existence after all, so it's a personal decision. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[EmpathyMinded]

I have a perfect opportunity tonight. No one will be at home until tomorrow morning. I planned on jumping. I thought of consuming alcohol so that I won't be in my right mind and to numb the SI. I thought of doing it someday later in this month. But now that I think of it, today I have an opportunity to do it. But something is telling me not to. My anxiety is slowly growing. The voices are strongly telling me not to do it today. I'm in a dilemma. I already tried twice and failed, first - partial hanging standing on the edge of my chair but slipped at the wrong time, SI kicked in. Second - tried to jump and prepared myself for like an hour but couldn't when I saw the ground from above. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror every time I failed. Please help me

If you are having reservations, probably better to wait. That seems like a sign that it could cause hesitation that leads to a failed attempt, which would obviously be best to avoid. Take some time, other opportunities will come if that's what you are determined to do. Until then, feel free to talk to me if you need to vent or any kind of support. Don't have to struggle with existing still alone, I have your back if you want it.

 

[castor_0630]

You are the only one who can decide whether or not you should try ctbing. Jumping takes a lot of courage and it's very SI inducing. Maybe neither of those methods are for you, and that's okay. If you feel this nervous about it, I'd suggest not to. When it's time and place, you'll know. How high is it? You said that you already tried jumping. Maybe this time take alcohol and go back to that place just to see if there's any difference with or without alcohol regarding the SI, you don't have to do it immidiately.

I'll give it a try. The height is 50 feet give or take. It's a 5 storey building.

Failing ctb certainly sounds so horrible to me, I hate how it's so difficult to die in this world. But anyway I think that the point of this site is to respect people's decisions that they've already chosen for themselves rather than telling them what to do. It's your existence after all, so it's a personal decision. I wish you the best of luck.

I feel you

 

[castor_0630]

If you are having reservations, probably better to wait. That seems like a sign that it could cause hesitation that leads to a failed attempt, which would obviously be best to avoid. Take some time, other opportunities will come if that's what you are determined to do. Until then, feel free to talk to me if you need to vent or any kind of support. Don't have to struggle with existing still alone, I have your back if you want it.

I very much appreciate your words. Maybe a chat or two would feel better I guess. And thank you very much for showing support, I think I wanted that.

 

[EmpathyMinded]

I very much appreciate your words. Maybe a chat or two would feel better I guess. And thank you very much for showing support, I think I wanted that.

You're welcome. When you unlock messaging feel free to talk to me directly whenever you feel like it. Happy to listen and give advice if that's what you need. I've been where you are before and I had nobody to talk to. As long as you are still here, I'd rather you didn't have to suffer the way I did.

 

[Rumi]

I'll give it a try. The height is 50 feet give or take. It's a 5 storey building.

Sorry man, but I don't think that's high enough to guarantee instant death.

I can't give you anymore advice than that.

 

[castor_0630]

Sorry man, but I don't think that's high enough to guarantee instant death.

I can't give you anymore advice than that.

I know but I'm thinking to take the chances. I can't buy any SN or benzos or fentanyl in my country. At least I guess I don't know how to buy them.

You're welcome. When you unlock messaging feel free to talk to me directly whenever you feel like it. Happy to listen and give advice if that's what you need. I've been where you are before and I had nobody to talk to. As long as you are still here, I'd rather you didn't have to suffer the way I did.

You're welcome. When you unlock messaging feel free to talk to me directly whenever you feel like it. Happy to listen and give advice if that's what you need. I've been where you are before and I had nobody to talk to. As long as you are still here, I'd rather you didn't have to suffer the way I did.

I will, thank you

 

[EmpathyMinded]

I know but I'm thinking to take the chances. I can't buy any SN or benzos or fentanyl in my country. At least I guess I don't know how to buy them.


I will, thank you

Messaging unlocks after enough comments, so just keep commenting on things you see that speak to you and you'll get it soon enough.