What should I do with my cat?

[AlistairSky]

This might be a minor concern, but I think about it a lot. My cat is 12 years old, and a bit of a handful. She's been abandoned multiple times and has anxiety and a lot of destructive habits. She's antisocial with most people and animals, but clingy with me.

I already know she's not going with my family. They're hoarders, they'll force her to cohabitate with other animals, and won't give her the stimulation she needs. I'll probably send her to a senior cat rescue.

The question is, should I do it before or after I die? I kind of want her to see my body and understand that I didn't abandon her. But I know that might be traumatizing in its own right.

I've honestly considered just waiting until she passes away, however long that takes, but I think that might be my cowardice talking. I came pretty close to shooting myself the other day, but she drove me crazy, meowing and scratching the carpet, and I lost my nerve. I feel so guilty about her, but maybe I'm using her as an excuse.

 

[DeletedUser123xyz]

If I were you I'd wait until she passes away.. I recently abandoned my cat I had for 10 years because I was moving and wouldn't be able to take him with me, and the guilt from abandoning him is unbelievable. Probably the worst I've ever felt about anything

 

[mysticatedwine]

i agree with the person above. the precious and pure things of life are very rare, and a cat is one of them. we need to cherish them and protect them as much as we can from this strange, dangerous and depressing world

 

[BradGuy123]

I agree with the previous two replies. If possible, wait until she passes. She loves you. Rehoming her at 12 years old would not be easy for her. Whether or not she sees your body and someone else takes her to the rescue or if she is taken to the rescue ahead of time, she will be traumatized either way.

 

[AlistairSky]

I'll do my best to hold off.

It's stupid to be jealous of a cat, but everyone's talking about how pure she is and how she should be protected from trauma. I wonder why people don't feel that way about each other?

 

[Eriktf]

unless you need to ctb asap then i just wait to the cat dies, 12 years are old so cant be more then a few years tops

 

[AlistairSky]

unless you need to ctb asap then i just wait to the cat dies, 12 years are old so cant be more then a few years tops

You never know, she's still healthy and energetic. I hope she can make it to 20, as long as it's with someone who can keep her stable and stimulated.

 

[lasttogo]

I would recommend you try to wait.

But I also want to let you know I took in a 10-11 year old from a lady who was about to pass. I had her for 5 years I think. She took the rehoming well, never seemed like she was confused or missing anything or anyone. She passed with me eventually. If you need to do it, I would post on Facebook marketplace or something like that, in Canada we have Kijiji. Meet up or chat with a few people, and then you can choose who she spends the rest of her time with. Waiting would be better, but it is possible to find her a good home if you absolutely cannot wait any longer. :)

 

[It'sMyLife]

I know you asked but ,seriously, total strangers on a forum telling you you should wait years ( unknown multiple years perhaps ) to make such a big decision because of a pet. If that's what they will do then let them. That's their choice. You do what you have to do. It's your decision and only yours. You could take the next year finding a perfect home for this cat. You don't have to rush. If living for this cat keeps you alive for several more years then that's great too. Maybe you'll feel differently in another year and I hope you do. I wish for you to have a happier existence than you do now. Please read the quote below my post from Tired Horse

I don't wish anyone good luck at catching the bus. I wish we could all find our way to a joyous and satisfying life that would make death an unfortunate reality rather than a longed-for relief. But all of us here know that the Fates aren't always that kind, and so I wish you all the most peaceful relief from your pain that you can find, and if that peace is brought by Death, I hope Death comes gently. Tired Horse

 

[MicahBell]

this hits close to home. i have a 15 year old cat. my family is… okay, but none of them love him as much as i do. i hope he doesnt think i abandoned him

 

[AlistairSky]

I know you asked but ,seriously, total strangers on a forum telling you you should wait years ( unknown multiple years perhaps ) to make such a big decision because of a pet. If that's what they will do then let them. That's their choice. You do what you have to do. It's your decision and only yours. You could take the next year finding a perfect home for this cat. You don't have to rush. If living for this cat keeps you alive for several more years then that's great too. Maybe you'll feel differently in another year and I hope you do. I wish for you to have a happier existence than you do now. Please read the quote below my post from Tired Horse

I don't wish anyone good luck at catching the bus. I wish we could all find our way to a joyous and satisfying life that would make death an unfortunate reality rather than a longed-for relief. But all of us here know that the Fates aren't always that kind, and so I wish you all the most peaceful relief from your pain that you can find, and if that peace is brought by Death, I hope Death comes gently. Tired Horse

Thank you, that's very kind.

I don't believe happiness is impossible, but I don't like the odds, and I'm tired. Who knows, though.

 

[recat]

This is on my mind nonstop and all I can think of is that futurama scene of Fry's dog waiting for him to come back until the end of time. I would likely do it far from home, so my cat would think i'm out constantly waiting for my return, only to find either my ex or the police. It distresses me. But, at least, I think my ex loves my cat as much as I do and he would take care of said cat. I wish I could find peace or any kind of sustainable way to feel like it's worth staying around... All the friends I talk to just utterly do not understand save for one..

 

[sweetcreep]

i'm still here because of my cats. if they died, i'll ctb the same day. i want to find loving homes for them so i can ctb with peace of mind, but just the thought of them thinking that i'm never coming back for them makes me feel so bad. spend as much time with her as you can, no matter what you decide. spoil her while you're still here.

 

[nuva]

I agree with the other comments, I think you should wait until the cat has passed away.
I had a cat that lived with me for about 13 years and I had to leave her with my family about two years ago when I moved to another city. Later I found out from my mother that she ran away and I never saw her again. Maybe something broke in me then, because she was my only consolation, I still feel guilty, even though I know I couldn't do anything about it. I regret not being there for her last days.

 

[Kanoh]

The cat won't care at all whether you live or die. Once you're dead and the cat got hungry it would just start eating your corpse. So don't bother yourself with it.

 

[Obliviate]

Crazy cat lady here. The only reason I'm alive is for my kiddos. But I think if you have the mental capacity and still have a little life in you left, stay with your cat until they pass. A cat's love is like no other. I personally am losing all the life in me but I know my cats will be taken care of when I am gone and I unfortunately cannot wait for them to pass as they are still quite young.

 

[Pluto]

 

[unluckysadness]

I have a cat too but I don't care too much with this question. I doubt if cats really care about us. They need to eat, sleep and they like being alone. Dogs are different

 

[AlistairSky]

The cat won't care at all whether you live or die. Once you're dead and the cat got hungry it would just start eating your corpse. So don't bother yourself with it.

What makes you say that? She seemed very clingy and anxious after losing her previous owners. Do you think they're unrelated?

That said, I can't imagine anyone's stupid enough to miss me, even an animal.

I have a cat too but I don't care too much with this question. I doubt if cats really care about us. They need to eat, sleep and they like being alone. Dogs are different

I see. She seemed to get a lot clingier and more destructive after her previous owners left the complex, and I assumed it was abandonment issues. I guess I'm being naive.

I appreciate the reassurance. Tomorrow I learn if I'm fired or not. 50/50 chance I'm done here.

 

[Kanoh]

What makes you say that? She seemed very clingy and anxious after losing her previous owners. Do you think they're unrelated?

That said, I can't imagine anyone's stupid enough to miss me, even an animal.

It would be anxious after losing a food, shelter and comfort zone and clingy when reacquiring it. That's just how cats are.

You are definitely worth missing and caring for. You just haven't met proper people. *hug* I really hope whatever decision you make your suffering will stop. Much love.

 

[AlistairSky]

It would be anxious after losing a food, shelter and comfort zone and clingy when reacquiring it. That's just how cats are.

You are definitely worth missing and caring for. You just haven't met proper people. *hug* I really hope whatever decision you make your suffering will stop. Much love.

She didn't actually lose any of those things. The landlord didn't used to let us take animals inside, so she was always an outdoor cat and preferred it. I and others started setting food out immediately. She probably just started meowing all the time and shredding my things because she hates me.

Thank you. Truthfully I don't think I'll ever meet the proper people... I think I'm the one who needs to be fixed.

 

[AlistairSky]

I appreciate the tough love. I think I made believe that she loves me because I'm a coward and was looking for excuses not to do it. Now I'm out of the mental fog and realize she's just a drain on me like I am on everyone else.

 

[iblori]

unless you need to ctb asap then i just wait to the cat dies, 12 years are old so cant be more then a few years tops

That's not true. Cats can live up to 20 years or more. If they're in good health, 12 years is nothing!

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I sincerely don't think a cat would be traumatized by the death of its owner. There are documented cases of cats (and dogs) chewing on their owner's dead body. It's just how animals are, that's all. I suppose a dog might miss you, but not a cat. I admire them for that.

 

[AuraByte]

If I were you I'd wait until she passes away.. I recently abandoned my cat I had for 10 years because I was moving and wouldn't be able to take him with me, and the guilt from abandoning him is unbelievable. Probably the worst I've ever felt about anything

By 'abandoned', I sincerely hope you mean that you found a new home for the cat and didn't literally just abandon it somewhere.

 

[NellyGoes]

I have a cat too but I don't care too much with this question. I doubt if cats really care about us. They need to eat, sleep and they like being alone. Dogs are different

This is absolutely not true. I'm shocked at how some people here think animals (or just cats especially??) don't care or don't have emotions. What a ridiculous thought. They have emotions just like us (and certainly like dogs too!!), they just show them differently. Why would every being on earth show their emotions exactly like humans do??! Makes no sense. Besides, cats are shown to have mourned both their owners and other animals they were close to.

Cats are also some of the most psychic animals around. There's a reason they were/are revered and worshipped in ancient Egypt and other places.

I see. She seemed to get a lot clingier and more destructive after her previous owners left the complex, and I assumed it was abandonment issues. I guess I'm being naive.

You weren't being naive, you were in tune with YOUR cat. You know her best! Don't let people on the internet tell you what you cat thinks or feels. You are the closest to who would "know"/sense this.

I appreciate the tough love. I think I made believe that she loves me because I'm a coward and was looking for excuses not to do it. Now I'm out of the mental fog and realize she's just a drain on me like I am on everyone else.

I'm so disappointed at how callously some people think here. you should never consider your cat a "drain on you". Also she 100% loves you. Cats get very attached to their people. Again, they show it differently. Every animal is unique in how they show their emotions and needs.


Either way OP I sincerely hope that you can wait until she passes. And that you are doing better yourself.

 

[sanctionedusage]

it's not your cowardice talking to live until she passes.. it'd be the nicest thing you could do for her.

otherwise, i'd recommend sending her to that rescue before you do it. it'd prevent any miscommunication and confusion once her rightful owner is passed and can't advocate for exactly where you intended to send her. law enforcement and family don't usually have animals' best interests at heart so it's best if you can speak for her until she's in the right hands.

and no, this isn't a 'minor' consideration. it's very compassionate and responsible since she's an anxious, bit of a high needs sort of cat.

 

[Black Sheep One]

This is a good question. I believe that when I leave this rock, I will miss my cats the most.

 

[DeletedUser123xyz]

By 'abandoned', I sincerely hope you mean that you found a new home for the cat and didn't literally just abandon it somewhere.

Yes… gave him up to a no-kill shelter and they found him a home … still abandoned in my eyes. Disgusted with myself

 

[AuraByte]

Yes… gave him up to a no-kill shelter and they found him a home … still abandoned in my eyes. Disgusted with myself

Please don't be. He is safe and cared for. You did the best you could.