What really makes you happy about committing suicide?

[-nobodyknows-]

This might be a little difficult to understand, but nothing about it makes me happy. I hate that I am where I am. I want to find an alternative so much.

But there isn't one, so… here we are.

 

[CogitoMori]

What are those thoughts that make you feel happy when you think about suicide? Those thoughts that make you different from a pro-lifer? That serenity that only the extreme gesture can give you. Tells.

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Having control over your own fate

 

[Redacted24]

Pretty much what others have posted... no more worries, no feeling, no worries.
And secure knowing that there is no possibility that things can get worse in future.

 

[nomoredolor]

No more pain, strive and poverty

No more being too much and not enough at the same time

It's sad too but I feel relaxed knowing I have this as an option. An escape, a way out.


Side Attempt story
The last attempt I made was in 2021. When I was preparing myself to go my brain split into two people talking to each other. (I don't actually have multiple personality disorder I think it was just a coping mechanism.) The protective part of me took over. Told the scared and vulnerable part of me that it was going to be okay and we were going to make it so that we never had to suffer again. That the protective part of me will take over and it's okay to be scared but soon all will be well. And that part of me stayed "in charge" through to the end of the attempt. I wrote a note for my husband and put it on the bedroom door. "DO NOT ENTER. CALL THE POLICE. MY BODY IS IN HERE." I tried the night night method of tying a yoga strap around my throat. I went in and out of consciousness. My legs kicked around. It seemed to take FOREVER. I just kept think what if I'm found and am alive with no brain function forever in a vegetative state? I untied the knot. And later tried with a razor blade but couldn't complete due to SI.

 

[Shiva_Story]

It will be the greatest journey of my life into a post material form of existence.. i'm excited to be released from the meat bag and the shitmatrix it inhabits

 

[Zanmato]

It's like "being free".
No more pain (physical and mental), no more worries.
No more beign "a part of this system" that force you to fake to be ok, and to be productive to make (a few) money, so you can survive.

 

[Whydid]

I'll never get another Ben Shapiro meme

 

[rocksnrocks]

that i can just turn everything off. it's just done and i don't have to do it anymore and everything is just gone and there is nothing

 

[Promised Heaven]

No perception of pain. People won't ridicule me anymore.

I do wish there is a positive oriented afterlife though. At least something better then this.

 

[Csmith8827]

That all of this will be over with, all the drama, chaos, and confusion and I'll finally be asleep and at peace. Or if there's something after I'll be at peace there

 

[brokeandbroken]

Nothing. I'd CTB because of my object lack of any happiness, joy, anything at all worth living for. It's the end of an incredibly sad not cared about story. One that was entirely and easily fixable with little effort or resources but people decided to flush my life down the drain and take everything from me and others let them. Pretty sad that a life so fixable and so easily filled with joy was filled with nothing but despair, sorrow, and just nothingness.

 

[yumeganai]

No pain, no guilt, no anxiety, no bills

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Knowing that there would be one less evil person in the world.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

I love to live and I am happy that I can end a good life in the way I want it. I am happy that I can avoid the negative experiences of aging. In addition, my masochistic hanging fetish will be satisfied. I am optimistic and positive thinking, so I am sure that I will succeed.

 

[Darkover]

escaping the unstoppable evil of this world called life no more having to deal with the bullshit of this place and all it's inhabitants

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

The impossibility of extreme suffering.

Every day you stay alive you run a small but nonzero risk of unbelievable pain. Yes, a lot of us suffer greatly from mental illness. I'm talking about another level.

Road and workplace accidents can do it. Some diseases can do it (see the documentary about the guy seeking euthanasia for cluster headaches). And of course there's torture at the hands of other humans.

I'm not going to be morbid and list these things, but humans occasionally subject other humans to maximal suffering deliberately.

It would be nice to take that possibility down to a hard 0% for all time.

 

[StaticCryBabye]

The feeling of nothingness.

 

[jimmy]

The permanence of it all, not having to worry about trauma, not having to worry about the PTSD kneecapping any meaningful relationship, and freedom from this terrible situation.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Knowing that I'll be doing the only good deed I'll ever be able to do by removing someone as evil as myself from existence.

 

[CatLvr]

The impossibility of extreme suffering.

Every day you stay alive you run a small but nonzero risk of unbelievable pain. Yes, a lot of us suffer greatly from mental illness. I'm talking about another level.

Road and workplace accidents can do it. Some diseases can do it (see the documentary about the guy seeking euthanasia for cluster headaches). And of course there's torture at the hands of other humans.

I'm not going to be morbid and list these things, but humans occasionally subject other humans to maximal suffering deliberately.

It would be nice to take that possibility down to a hard 0% for all time.

I have cluster headaches. Of all the pain issues I have they are by far the most brutal, and the one that ALWAYS triggers suicidal ideation in me. I would not wish those things off in my worst enemy. They are THAT bad.

The second most reliable way to trigger a desire to ctb in me is to trigger my CPTSD. Thankfully, I have learned a few "tricks" over the years that keep this from happening as often as it did in my earlier years.

All in all, ctb-ing would give me at least a moment or two of being painfree. I don't know what the next realm holds but I pray to any higher power that might be out there that there is no pain -- for any of us.

 

[willictb]

that it will all be over and i won't have to worry about the future anymore.

 

[Leiot]

just the end. i would like the world to forget me, as if i don't exist. this thought drives me. how is it with you?

Ditto. I've caused enough damage and some of it's not forgivable. I don't deserve to exist.

 

[Alo97]

Ditto. I've caused enough damage and some of it's not forgivable. I don't deserve to exist.

whether it's unforgivable you determine for yourself, because you're the one who has to forgive yourself. We have the same thing although I have hurt myself the most

 

[RiverOfLife]

The end of pain.

 

[pilotviolin]

relief

 

[babouflo201223]

Nothing in fact. I'm not happy to die. But life is now too much sufferings day after day, without any hope, without the smallest happy moment, then, just stop as soon as I will succeed to find the way that suits and it's not easy.