What propels you toward the grave the most?

[Bilbobaggins]

Peak Oil.

 

[LastLeg]

My inability to connect is like it's own prison. It wasn't always like this but this decade has done so much damage to my mind

People

 

[No Future]

Time!

 

[FadedMemory]

Unforgivable mistakes and embarrassing past.

 

[PeakyBlinder]

Coming from a high achieving family where everyone except for me is successful.

Living up to other people's and socities expectations and not being able to convince myself that there is no need to live up to that.

 

[Deafsn0w]

Life is like gambling. Some people are born lucky while others born unlucky. Luck is one of important factors in this game. There's no point of playing this stupid luck game.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

You can have all the luck in the world and still be miserable.

Life is like gambling. Some people are born lucky while others born unlucky. Luck is one of important factors in this game. There's no point of playing this stupid luck game.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

My inability to improve my situation even after working hard to get help for over a decade. I've done everything I can, and every facet of my life continued to decline until now it's nearly pure misery most of the time. The only relief is sleep. Every time I wake up, I'm disappointed I have another day to face.

 

[randomguy]

Beacause I can't be happy with nothing, I have no vision for the future and I'm young witch means that the future is the only thing I have to look. I simply don't want to participate in the game of life. Everyone hates me when I'm depressed because I live in a poor country and ignorance is the rule.

 

[Radaghast94]

Anxiety and loneliness, plus my seeming inability to enjoy life

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

The fact that the things we human crave the most (social bonding/love/sex) are determined mainly by how we look.

Lookism and extreme inequality in the world in general, both in economic and sexual/emotionnal/looks matter.

 

[bigj75]

The fact that the things we human crave the most (social bonding/love/sex) are determined mainly by how we look.

Lookism and extreme inequality in the world in general, both in economic and sexual/emotionnal/looks matter.

true. But i think there is alot to live for other than that stuff.

 

[Lara Francis]

Lack of hope

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

My head being fucked up having bipolar and pretty sure bpd. All the major fuck ups I can't ever repair.

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

true. But i think there is alot to live for other than that stuff.

I thing that that other stuff is also impacted by looks and how people treat you based on that looks and the self-esteem and confidence you get because of your looks.

 

[bigj75]

I thing that that other stuff is also impacted by looks and how people treat you based on that looks and the self-esteem and confidence you get because of your looks.

Hmmm that's interesting.

 

[Aragon]

My actions in life. I could have had a better future had I taken things more seriously and listened to my mother's high moral advice. And now I'm suffering... I always was suffering, but I'd never fell down in the dumps until last year. I feel the suffering will end, if I can find a way out. I'll never forgive myself, ever. So as far as I see it, I'll continue to suffer, until I perish.

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

My actions in life. I could have had a better future had I taken things more seriously and listened to my mother's high moral advice. And now I'm suffering... I always was suffering, but I'd never fell down in the dumps until last year. I feel the suffering will end, if I can find a way out. I'll never forgive myself, ever. So as far as I see it, I'll continue to suffer, until I perish.

You can take solace in the fact that you couldn't have done otherwise than what you did :

Here is the proof that you are too harsh with yourself, as you shouldn't blame yourself that harshly for an option you never hard :
https://www.naturalism.org/philosophy/free-will/the-buck-stops-where

 

[Fixin’ToDie]

Being on the cusp of old age, and having greatly diminished resources. I mean, aging is everyone's path to the grave anyway; I just need to speed up the process. A lot.

 

[NeedPeace]

Memories

 

[Maravillosa]

That I feel trapped in a life that does not meet my expectations. When I was a teenager, I thought that I would graduate from college a bit before I turned 22, marry at age 25, have a child at age 27, publish my first novel at age 30, have another child at age 33... I will turn 52 this month.

Although I did ultimately earn a BA and went to grad school (which I did not finish due to an episode of severe depression with psychotic features that made it impossible for me to concentrate on my studies), I have never married nor had children (though I am glad that I never had children, considering my double depression [persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia) + major depression] and PTSD diagnoses), nor have I published any novels (so far). But I am stuck taking care of my bedridden mother -- who could easily live another 10 years -- and cannot in good conscience predecease her. But after she has passed away... it would be much easier for me to ctb.

I would want to a) leave behind a relatively pretty corpse for a properly Catholic funeral (if, as I expect, I hang myself, I want to insure that my face is pale and placid in death, so at least people will realize that I died as happily and as painlessly as possible) and b) get to Heaven as soon as I can after my death. (A religious text that I read recently states that Heaven is God's to grant and not ours to take. However, I hope that God would be as merciful to me as I would hope that He would be to others who ctb.)

 

[HelpPlease]

Pain brain damage suffering failure brain damage